TW: I just want to be vulnerable right now. I'm sick to the death of all these appointments.

[TOM-RO]

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx 

It sounds like you're going through a tough time; especially with all of the assignments due.  It must be hard not to be able to do the things you love.  Can you make time over the weekend to do something you do enjoy?  We are here for you if you need support. 

[xXLexi_Lou122Xx]

Hey @TOM-RO.

I didn't actually get to my assignments, because I was so tired.

It is really hard. Especially when I won't be able to get the exercise I need. Normally I'm really fit, and eat mostly healthy foods, but now I have to work harder on my own diet...

Not really, because I'm normally very bored when it comes to being at home on the weekend. I'm going shopping tomorrow, as it's the Ekka Public Holiday. I need new clothes and stuff, because my wardrobe has far too many clothes that either don't suit me anymore, or don't fit me properly. And my clothes are getting old. I still don't really enjoy shopping. Especially when I have to do the trying on part. It's so much effort to get undressed, then dressed then undressed then dressed into my normal clothes again. And then repeating that over and over at who knows how many shops.

Maybe I'll play some video games with my brother today. That always makes me feel better. Until he beats me at everything. But it's still fun.

*sigh* Let's just hope that everything goes okay today and tomorrow...

[TOM-RO]

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx 

How are you feeling today?  Did you play some video games with your brother?  I'm playing Rocket League currently (well not right now!) and I keep getting whooped online!  It is fun though

Yeah I know shopping can be boring, especially the trying on routine.  Sometimes it's nice though when we do find something we like? 

Hope you're feeling better

[xXLexi_Lou122Xx]

Hey @TOM-RO.

I’m feeling just as worthless as yesterday,
But I did get to have some fun. I got to see my great aunt and uncle’s new dog, who’s 7 months old, and is such a tiny puppy. She’s called Xena, and she’s a Pomeranian x Chihuahua. I can’t wait to see her again! I’ll take a photo of her the next time I see her, and you guys will never believe how tiny she is!

Yes, I played video games with my brother, which was okay, but I kept dying, so I just played on my iPad instead. I was playing Terraria, and Minecraft and Slither.io. They are pretty addictive. And fun.

Yeah, shopping does seem better when you get something you like, and especially when it’s over, is when you appreciate it the most. I can’t wait to get new clothes and have a smaller wardrobe/cupboard insert.

I feel a lot better after my puppy visit, but I still feel unworthy of being loved and cared about. My friends don’t even know that I feel this way. I can’t tell them. They don’t need the burden of my problems. So I put on a complete mask instead! I’m really not that smart...

I am safe, btw.

[Bre-RO]

Hiya @xXLexi_Lou122Xx 

Sorry to hear you're feeling worthless - you're definitely have a lot of worth here on the forums.  With everything you've got going on it's nice to hear you had some puppy time, it can be really healing to spend time with animals Please do get a picture of her! I'm sure I'm not the only one keen to see her.

Also, I just wanted to say that a lot of people wear masks for lots of different reasons. It doesn't make you 'not that smart'. It could just be that you're trying to process lots of emotions that aren't easy to share - even with friends. That's why it's so brave to you do share here with us. 

Hope you're feeling better today  

[xXLexi_Lou122Xx]

Hey @Bre-RO.

Thank you, because I know that I have so much worth here, but I just don't feel it anywhere else...
Yeah, puppies help a lot. Especially when they're as small as Xena is! I'll have to wait for a while, before I can see her again, but hopefully it will be soon!

Yeah, I guess that's true. But I still don't like lying to my friends and saying that I'm not fine...

But on the up side, I survived shopping today! I got a whole heap of new clothes, including my first ever short shirts! They're black, like my emotions right now, but Oh well. I like black anyway.
Plus some long dresses, some Nike Air Max's, and some pink DC shoes. I've never had any big brand shoes like Nike before!

[TOM-RO]

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx Puppies are so healing aren't they! Oh and good on you for getting yourself some new clothes, having a new look is one of those quick simple ways to boost our confidence! 

[xXLexi_Lou122Xx]

Thank you @TOM-RO.

Puppies are definitely healing. And their adorable faces! How can you not resist them?

I definitely enjoyed getting new clothes. I especially love the new jumper I got! It goes with all my black clothes, and the way I wear it is so cute on me, as my family tells me. I'm gonna go op-shopping to get some pull-over jumpers, then my mum will cut off the bottom half of them, and then I'll have more short jumpers like my yellow one!

You're right. Making small changes, like changing the way you look, is just a small thing that helps a lot!

[WheresMySquishy]

Hi @xXLexi_Lou122Xx!

The exercise ban sounds so frustrating. Are you banned from any form of exercise? I was thinking that you could do some light stretches or lift some light weights, just not anything cardio-related.

I'm glad you enjoyed shopping!  I went shopping a week ago and got a few nice things. You're so right that changing the way you look can be really exciting and boost your mood! I really love pampering myself and doing things like getting a haircut or experimenting with make-up. My sister also loves getting her nails painted by the volunteers at her hospital. You deserve to feel good about yourself.

It's so cool how you and your mum alter your clothes. I've made tie-dye designs before. You can also experiment with fabric markers, iron-on transfers and embroidery.

[xXLexi_Lou122Xx]

Hey @WheresMySquishy
I thought I replied... Oh well.

Thank you, but I don’t think I can do anything not cardio related. My gym class is mostly cardio and exercise, and HPE is really sporty too. And walking isn’t really my thing. It has to be some kind of a game, if I’ll enjoy it.

Shopping, was amazing, even though I did “shop till I drop”. I’m absolutely loving my new shirts, and dresses and jumper. I love my new look, but it would be better if my ex bff didn’t bring me down about it... well... she said a rude thing about my new earring, but that’s it.

We actually got some overalls for me, that are completely white. We got them, so we could tie-dye it! I love tie dye. It’s so much fun! Even though we’ve never altered many of my clothes, it’s still going to be fun when I get my short jumpers done!


But right now, I feel really crap. My ex bff has been making rude comments about me and at me, and it doesn’t help that I feel crap from my health issues. And not sleeping properly for 3 weeks straight. Pistachios are supposed to help a little bit, but I don’t really know if they are working or not...

*sigh*

Life is so unfair and too much effort. Even waking up is an effort. Just speaking or walking around is an effort. Everyone can see I’m not okay, but I don’t have anyone to talk to. At least, not anyone that I can keep for longer than a year. I am safe btw. Just feeling crappy and tired. 😢😔