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Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

So sorry to hear your difficulties. It’s a hard time for us all and it’s normal to lose optimism. For your art class online, I understand that it’s not the same as learning outside in the classroom. But may I know what difficulties do u have in particular to keep up with. We might be able to work on those issues and u might start to enjoy drawing while staying at home. May be start a project to express your wishes in 2020 by drawing them out so that 8 months might not seem too long. 
On the bright side, we are having less cases and government is easing restrictions gradually. Hopefully we will be able to go out sooner than 8 months domestically. We can get through this! 

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Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

Okay, I’m feeling calmer now. The reason I was upset was because I got an e-mail saying that a convention on August I wanted to go to had to be cancelled. It never gets any easier hearing about something I wanted to go to (or something other people were looking forward to) being cancelled, it can be so heartbreaking, even if it only is for this year and it’ll be back next year. As I said before, some conventions have been pushed back to late ‘20-early ‘21, but that still feels like such a long time to hold out for. I’ve recently made a post-quarantine bucket list, which consists of doing some of the stuff I enjoyed doing before and miss right now, and going to new places I just discovered (like a bar in Melbourne called Robot bar, which is a Japanese bar with anime night on Tuesdays!).

I’m also worried about my homework I have to do while schools are closed because it’s piling up and I don’t know where to start. I’ve had to attend online meetings to get assignments, but lately I haven’t been invited to a few and missed out on the information. Beforehand I already had overdue assignments and I didn’t know what they were, so right now I’m just really confused and I don’t think I can do this. My options are to either have a tutor or someone like that to help me get organized and get the work done, or withdraw from this semester and just re-enrol in the next one.

I also feel like right now I need to catch up on projects I’ve been wanting to do but have kept putting off such as writing, and I feel pressured that this is my one chance to get it done so I can’t let it pass. I’m also trying to take this opportunity to be more grateful for the things I took for granted. I have a bad habit of taking things in life for granted, and then one day they’re gone. The lesson never seems to sink in with me, and those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

To end on a bit more of a positive note, I’ve at least been able to walk my dog more. We’ve been walking our two dogs most days, and it’s a good way to get a bit of exercise in each day.

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Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

Hey @Bento it's good to hear from you but i'm really sorry to hear how things have been for you Smiley Sad I really relate to what you've said about so many things you were looking forward to being cancelled. I was planning on studying this year, was meant to be going to europe in a few weeks for the trip of a lifetime and had a lot of live music lined up as well. It's like a little punch in the guts everytime I get an email saying yet another event/experience has been cancelled. Having things to look forward to really helps me so it has taken mammoth amounts of acceptance for me to deal with covid. The more people I talk to the more I realise a lot of people are in the same boat - weddings cancelled, holidays, exciting events. It's a lot to digest. 

 

What has been helping me is thinking about how excited people will be to do things when this is all over and if I can try to reassure you - this will end. As much as it feels like a never ending issue, things will improve. If you look back on history, you'll see humans have been through many strange times and eventually things always get better. 

 

Research shows that planning exciting things for the future is really good  for your mental health (even if you don't end up doing the activity, holiday etc). Do you think it would help to make a list of all the things you're going to tick off your list, when you can? I think once we are allowed, there will be lots of happy times to be had and we'll appreciate it so much after the year we have had so far! 

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Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

I’m very sorry for you. I really don’t know what else to say because I don’t wanna sound patronizing, but I hope all the things you were planning on doing aren’t gone forever, and you’ll have another opportunity real soon. But I know exactly what it’s like to be endlessly frustrated with how life has turned out. It’s basically like a sitcom where just as someone’s life seems to be going perfectly, a chain of humiliating events happen to make everything go comically wrong. Last night I finished watching an anime called Zombie Land Saga, and I hope I’m not giving away the end for those who haven’t seen it yet (though it has been out for 1-2 years now) but I really resonated with the main protagonist in the end because everything in her life had gone wrong for her. Everytime she got her hopes up and aspired to something she worked hard for, something out of her control happened to ruin everything for her, and just as her life seemed like it might be getting better she died. It really affected me because that’s how I feel, that I can’t accomplish anything because something always goes wrong and things just never seem to work out in life. Last year I hoped I would be able to learn to make video games by doing a course somewhere I wanted to go to for a year, but that didn’t go as well as I had hoped. And this year, I’m thinking I’m just gonna have to withdraw from my course because the main point was to be studying out in public to be more social, and if I can’t do that there’s not much point and I just have to try again next semester. I still don’t know what I’m going to do with my life, for a while now I’ve just felt aimless, like I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life. Everything is so mentally draining nowadays, I don’t understand how anyone has the energy to wake up and make it through each day without just losing it. I admit I’ve turned into a cynical person, but I didn’t want to be like this.

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Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

Hi @Bento, I am sorry that you are feeling so deflated at the moment. It is really normal to be feeling a wide range of emotions during this time. It is such a difficult thing that we are all going through. Was it helpful to find a character that you could resonate with? Sometimes it can seem as though you are in this world on your own, experiencing something unique that nobody has ever felt before. If it is in a book, a movie or a TV show it means that someone has thought of that idea. Ideas usually originate from experience itself, meaning that other people may have an experience that is similar to yours and decided to share it in the form of media.

It can be so difficult to figure out what we are doing with our lives, especially during a time like this. A lot of us are not really doing much at all because our options are so very limited. Is it possible for you to take this time to have a break and brainstorm some ideas based off your interests? I wanted to end this by saying you are not alone, a lot of people struggle to figure these things out too. We can tell that you are trying your best and it is really challenging when things happen outside our control Heart

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Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

I just called beyond blue to talk with someone about my issues. I’d been bottling up these thoughts and needed to get it off my chest verbally, so I had an emotional talk with someone from beyond blue. I feel like I’ve been forced to become a cynical person by the society I’ve been exposed to for the past half decade and counting of my life. I’m so jaded, I only notice negative things and negative people most of the time because I’ve been trained to do so. I feel like I can’t rise above society, that I’ll always be beaten down and as a result I can never start to lead a happier life because nowadays people promote horrible values, and they will tell you that only cynical people can make it in this world. That’s why I deliberately went into this year with low expectations, because every year before that had crushed me and I knew that things would be just as bad. And I was right. When I look back on most of my teenage hood, it’s just bad memories that I’ve never been able to let go of. And if I can’t let go of the past I can’t embrace the future.

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Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

Hey @Bento 

 

First, kudos to you for contacting Beyond Blue for support! Heart Did you find it helpful?

 

Second, you've mentioned a few things like only noticing the negative, and also being stuck on things that occurred in the past. I imagine those two things would be contributing quite significantly to your negative mind-state at the moment. It's great that you're able to identify these two things as it shows a lot of insight. However, I'm wondering whether you've done anything to "tackle" them, to try and make things a little more positive for you. 

 

You said that you notice negative things all the time. Might it be an idea to challenge yourself and try to identify 3 positive things a day, both in your life and in society and the people you see around you. For example, a positive for you might be the great community of people here on ReachOut - it shows you that not everything and everyone is bad and that there are actually nice, well-valued people out there.

 

In terms of not letting go of bad things that happened in the past - do you think that when such thoughts come up, it might be useful to counteract them by thinking about something positive that happened in the past? It could be something as simple as that time you went to the park and relaxed, or that time you went to the cinema and enjoyed eating pop-corn.

 

You're right in saying that there are some bad things out there, and there are some bad people.  However, I do think that there is good out there. And I also think that you can challenge some of these thoughts that you're having to make things better for you. Sometimes, the way we assign meaning to things or interpret events is what makes us sad, rather than the actual event itself being sad. Its important to keep that in mind when going forward as a reminder that you can actually rise above the negativity.

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Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

Okay, well I’ve been feeling a bit better the last few days. But to be honest, right now I’m divided between wanting the next few months to be over so I can hopefully have more to look forward to, and wanting to make the most of this time I have to catch up with stuff. I also need to take this opportunity as a learning experience to be more grateful, as I might have said before. It’s all about letting go of what I can’t control, which is really challenging for me because it takes a lot of courage to cope with bad things that happen. But it always helps to counteract it with news of something good happening. I’ve listened through the audiobook for Calm the *** Down by Sarah Knight, but I think I’ll need to go over it again soon to refine my letting go skills.

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Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

Hey @Bento 

 

I can see that you've said some positive things to yourself in your last post - which is great to see. I know you said that letting go of things you can't control is really hard for you, but I think you can do it, and I can already see you doing it into practice in your last post. It just takes practice. And I can see that you're already practicing by listening to that audiobook, which is honestly really great! Heart. From what I can gather from your posts on the forum, I think you're a lot more capable and able to cope than you think. 

 

What are some things you'd like to catch up on over the next few weeks/months?

 

 

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Re: TW: Re: Social Isolation

Hello again. To answer your last question, I’ve just started writing the story I’ve been planning. It’s just a rough draft for now, but I know I just have to write something so at least I can show it around for feedback and improve it later. It’s a big deal for me to get back into writing because it was so intimidating, I hope I can do a good job expressing my ideas.

I’m replying today because right now, I’m doing some real reflecting on what I want to do with my life. We’ve decided the best course of action is to withdraw from the Tafe course I was doing because under the circumstances of the virus, I can get a full refund. There was nothing wrong with the course that made me want to leave; it just wasn’t what I was looking for to improve my skills, and I found the homework too stressful. I would’ve stayed had the quarantine never happened, or if I had made good friends with someone in class, but this way it’s no big loss. I guess I felt like studying to get a certificate was a requirement, even know I already have a certificate that I’ve used for nothing so far. And honestly, from what people on the internet have said an art certificate might not do much for me either...

But in the wake of this, it has made me unsure about what I’m gonna do for a living. I know now might not be the most appropriate time to think about this, but I feel pressured to getting a job doing anything, such as retail in a store, and then in my free time I’ll focus on drawing and writing. Next year, I’d like to try again at getting a stall at conventions to sell my artwork and literature. But Mum wants to move to another area in Victoria soon, possibly even this year, which I’m not sure about. She says we might have to if we can’t afford the rent where we’re currently staying at, but it seems overwhelming and sudden for me and I don’t know what to do, especially given the current situation.