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Tw: I'm scared to post this

As I've mentioned before my life is really complicated right now and I have a lot going on. I didn't even know if I should post this. This is just one thing but it's a big thing and I'm scared. 
Anyway, I have a stalker. He's not a nice person and what's unfortunate is that he lives in the same accommodation as me.
This guy isn't just being overly nice to me and complimenting me on my looks and obsessing over me, its got really out of hand. Hes been very inappropriate towards me and was also sexually harassing me over social media. He was taking pics of me without my permission and posting them around.
To make things worse he did this and much more to me three years ago, I eventually was able to get rid of him but he still would leave things in my letter box and try to approach me in the streets occasionally. I thought I had got rid of him but when I moved into my current accommodation he was living there. At first it wasn't so bad abecause he was in a relationship and I suppressed the situation but his obsession for me continued. I would tell him to back off and stop sending me inappropriate images but he wouldn't.
the situation all kind of exploded a few weeks ago whilst I was taking my break from the forum to manage my emotional safety. I was at accom and he ended up here too, I imploded and felt very unsafe. I ended up opening up to one of the staff members about what he was doing to me and everything going on and how unsafe this man made me feel.
To add to things the relationship that guy was having was with a minor and he's in his late 50s. So that had to get mandatory reported and I was stuck in the middle of that. He's also a porn photographer.
We're pretty sure he's something along the lines of a sociopath and I was groomed to be one of his victims.

And what sucks is this has been reported to my accommodation and apparently there's nothing they can do about it. Surely they have a responsibility to keep their residence safe from a sexual predator. I don't feel safe at home anymore and I'm really scared about where to from here. I don't want to find alternate accommodation and be homeless again. I like where I live apart from that guy. I have a meeting tomorrow with my accommodation about where to from here and I'm terrified. I don't feel heard. I feel scared and let down by my accommodation and I felt like they blamed me for letting it happen.

This situation has triggered up other stuff from my past I can't deal with. I want to run away. I'm working with my CM on processing with stuff but it's hard and it sucks and I keep saying how scared I am. 

 

 

@Bree-RO please let me know if anything is inappropriate 

redhead
redheadPosted 05-07-2018 09:07 PM

Comments

 
scared01
scared01Posted 07-07-2018 05:06 PM
hey @redhead how are you going?
 
LeoTheLion
LeoTheLionPosted 05-07-2018 11:21 PM

Are you able to contact the police about this @redhead? Stalking is extremely serious and the police will take it very seriously. Might even look at a restraining order if you're willing to go down that route because of what you described. The person definitely sounds like a total creep. 

 
 
gina-RO
gina-ROPosted 06-07-2018 10:24 AM

@redhead this is such an awful situation, I'm so sorry to hear this happening. 

I can only imagine how scary and violating this must all feel. 

 

I agree with @LeoTheLion that you can absolutely contact the police. You are well within your rights to take out an AVO or restraint order against this man. 

Please speak to your local domestic violence officer - read some information about this here

It could be a good idea to look into this with your CM, and discuss a plan of action if you decide to go down the legal route. 

 

You deserve to live free of harassment and intimidation. Heart

 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 06-07-2018 12:35 PM
@redhead I know how hard it was for you to post this so I'm really proud of you. You are an incredibly brave person, even if your brain tells you otherwise Heart

Let us know how the meeting today goes. Depending on the outcome, @gina-RO's suggestions might be worth considering.

Here for you Heart
 
 
 
 
redhead
redheadPosted 06-07-2018 02:32 PM
Hi guys.
I'm really emotional rn but the meeting went well. I feel more supported by the accommodation.
I'm not quite ready to go down the legal side of things but have informed the perpetrator that if it continues that is what I'm going to do.
So I guess it's just a wait and see what happens from here.
 
 
 
 
 
DruidChild
DruidChildPosted 07-07-2018 07:39 PM

You're doing an amazing job getting this sorted @redhead, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this horrible situation. 

We're here for you while you wait for the next step. Heart

 
 
 
 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 06-07-2018 02:59 PM
@redhead being emotional is totally understandable. So glad to hear that they're being more supportive of you now Heart

What've you got planned for the rest of the day?
 
Bree-RO
Bree-ROPosted 05-07-2018 09:15 PM

@redhead hey there, you did super well actually thank you for being mindful of the community and the TW 🙂 The only thing I removed was the name of the program but everything else can stay with the trigger warning.

 

First up, well done on working through this with your CM, well done on opening up to staff as that was very brave and a very important move in regards to your safety and everyone elses, and a massive well done on reaching out for support tonight. You are right this behaviour is totally unacceptable, completely not okay, this man sounds like he is a serious threat to yourself and others.  What did accom say in response to your point about resident's safety, what's their reasoning? Did your CM have any views on this?

 

We're here to listen Heart

 
 
redhead
redheadPosted 05-07-2018 09:26 PM
I'm just really scared
 
 
 
Bree-RO
Bree-ROPosted 05-07-2018 09:43 PM

That is a very understandable feeling @redhead what is happening tonight? Are you both still in the same Accom? This is positive that your CM has your back, they sound like a very decent case manager Heart

 
 
 
 
redhead
redheadPosted 05-07-2018 09:50 PM
@Bree-RO I've gone back to the recovery program and the guy is at my home, so physically I'm safe right now. It's just I've been so stressed by the situation. I've not been coping, which I guess is why I'm here. My head is full of so many bad memories I can't get then out
 
 
 
 
 
DruidChild
DruidChildPosted 05-07-2018 10:08 PM

I'm so so so sorry to hear about the situation with this man and your accomodation @redhead. It sounds incredibly scary and I'm not surprised that you feel let down by the accomodation; it sucks that they're not handling this better. 

 

Could a grounding exercise help with the memories tonight? Or could you cuddle a stuffed toy/teddy/ect really tight or hold ice in your hands? 

 

I hope this gets sorted out before you leave the recovery program and you can feel safe at home again HeartHeartHeart

 
 
 
 
 
redhead
redheadPosted 05-07-2018 10:13 PM
@DruidChild thanks. I'm not coping so I might go to staff then try to sleep.
I took sleeping tablets 2 hours with no affect. It's frustrating
 
 
 
 
 
DruidChild
DruidChildPosted 05-07-2018 10:20 PM

It's so frustrating when meds have no affect @redhead isn't it! I hope the staff are able to help and that you have a restful night's sleep Heart

 
 
 
 
 
scared01
scared01Posted 05-07-2018 10:20 PM
hey @redhead wow im so sorry your going through all of that. i hope something gets worked out ASAP! thinking of you during this time
 
 
redhead
redheadPosted 05-07-2018 09:26 PM
My CM is pissed of at my accommodation.
Last I heard my accommodation said they can't kick him out because of the tenancy act.
I'm hoping the meeting tomorrow will clarify a few things and they can tell why he's continuing to live there and me how they'll be able to keep me safe.

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