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Re: struggling

Hey @scared01 


Just thought I'd pop in and say thank you for updating us. It really saddens me to hear that you're going through some physical health struggles - like mental health struggles aren't hard enough. And in addition to all of that, your caree has received a difficult diagnosis Heart. I really feel for you at this current time - you are in my thoughts Heart. These sort of issues are things I can personally relate to. It sounds like @WheresMySquishy can too. Please know that you aren't alone, but geez it's still hard isn't it?


It's really great that you're seeking some support. That makes me happy. You're being really strong throughout all of this in my opinion, so keep it up. Thankyou for taking the time to reply despite what you're going through. Take all the time you need away from the forums - you do what you need! We'll always be here Heart.


Please take care of yourself... and keep us updated on your journey. Heart


Re: struggling

hey @Maddy-RO
thank you for stopping in and for caring. it definently is really hard. atm my carees diagnosis while it does make sense is also quite daunting as well. some of the symptoms he experiences scares him, and its hard to watch someone cry and panic over literally nothing- well not nothing to him but these experiences aren't 'real' like hes loosing touch with reality now which is a deterioration in the condition he has. I feel awful as sometimes even though its hard on him, I get abit snappy and 'over it' when its the 100th time its happened in the day or its a few times through the night and being a light sleeper with insomnia any movement or sounds in the house and im up again.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: struggling

@scared01 - yes I totally understand. Seeing someone suffer, and slowly deteriorate, is actually a really traumatic thing in my opinion. I feel what you're going through! It actually feels unfair.


I think feeling frustrated with the care-taking process, and then feeling guilty for it, is a very normal. You know, caring for someone is very hard, your "me time" literally diminishes... there is no time to relax... and it's stressful. In fact, it is an exhausting process, and becoming a little frustrated at times doesn't mean one loves them any less! I hear what you're saying though, I often think back to situations with my dad (who was sick) and feel guilty over them, thinking I could have done more etc. When I speak to others about it, they think I'm being silly, and say I was there for him heaps & shouldn't feel that way - which I actually find reassuring. 


You're also struggling with some of your own mental/physical health issues, so yes, be kind and understanding to yourself. I'm sure your caree appreciates all the things you do for them and knows that you love them Heart


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Re: struggling

Thank you @Maddy-RO though im sorry you've had similar experiences to me. it is super hard.
I had quite an extensive meeting though with others and have a better direction in which to go to get other supports for caree. its such an effort atm though with many phone calls and other meetings before I can access them for him. I know he needs it and so do I but im not up for talking about it all the time or having to deal with it.
sometimes I wish I could bury my head in the sand and ignore it all for a while. I know that wouldn't be very helpful though but ill put it aside for today and start on it on another day.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: struggling

Morning @scared01 


I'm glad to hear you have a better direction with getting some support in caring Heart It is clear from what you have shared that you are going through a lot right now. It's rough having so much on your plate and I think in those times it's normal to wish you could just pause everything for a while to catch your breath. 


It sounds like you're really craving some me time - is there anything you can do for self care over the weekend, even if it's something small that makes you happy? 


We're thinking of you Heart 

Re: struggling

thank you @Bre-RO Heart
ive been called into my other job this weekend for a few hours but I was hoping that was the case. I really needed that extra bit to afford something I committed to on Tuesday so its abit of relief to know ill have the full amount and one expense out of the way for a while.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: struggling

@scared01 I've had a bit of a read through and I was wondering how your surgery went. I'm sorry to hear that there was a complication and it sounds like another operation? It sounds so complex on its own. And with the other issues of finances and your carers diagnosis make is all more difficult. Sending you some love and wishing things improve for you soon x


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: struggling

@scared01  Caring is so hard. Smiley Sad His symptoms sound like they're really awful for you both to experience.
I can totally understand you being impatient with your caree. I get so annoyed with my grandma all the time.

Getting frustrated with your caree doesn't mean that you're a bad person or that you shouldn't feel that way. Heart
Caring for someone else can sometimes feel so thankless and unrewarding. I honestly would feel relieved if I had to stop caring for my grandma.
I think it would be a good idea if you could get some kind of respite if he is open to it, especially if he's been testing your patience.


Re: struggling

Hello @ bee and @Milkninja222 (I thought id update over here since ive been chatting to others here too. hope that's ok.)
its been really difficult, the pain hasn't really lessened and neither has the rest of the complications like the intense nerve symptoms, pain, misaligned bite with sore teeth and jaw bone, inability to chew properly (still on mashed foods mostly) frequent headaches and slurred speech as well.
I see the surgeon tomorrow and im hoping that theres something she and the specialist will do to help out, I think 6 weeks is long enough to be trying to put up with these.

@WheresMySquishy it is pretty awful but ive started the process with my aged care by putting in a referral to get the ball rolling again. he really isn't open to respite, he takes it very personally and then goes on about being a burden and doesn't want to end up in a nursing home and then the blame game starts so its not really worth it. hopefully myagedcare will allow me to access RAS so I can get him supports. (ras is different to acat and is actually quite abit better unless caree needs almost 24/7 high maintence care ie incontinence and inability to shower etc. ) its hard to not get frustrated isn't it. we are only human and while we know ts not really their fault our emotions esp snce we have MI ourselves makes it so so hard.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**