Female Body Talk
Being physically female can be hard, and whether you are a girl, boy or something in between, our bodies can still let us down. There are plenty of pressures around by both our bodies and society such as periods, boobs, shaving, fashion, make-up and more and these things can be tough to deal with.
It can be just as hard to find someone to talk (or rant!) to about some of the standards set for women, plus the annoying things that happen thanks to puberty. So if you need to get some stuff off your chest about your chest (hehe :P) or you have some suggestions for dealing with both the physical and mental stuff then post it here! 🙂
I will begin with fashion. Has anyone else noticed that most nice-looking women's clothes are at least partially see through? I mean, it's ridiculous! Especially in Australia, in summer. I do not want to be wearing a singlet underneath my shirt just so people can't see underneath. And on the topic of clothes, does anyone else get annoyed by the sleeves? They cut off right under the armpit and it just feels so uncomfortable. Fingers crossed I can find some nice shirts for my prac in the mens department 😛
@N1ghtW1ng all gender norms aside, I just don't think guys could pull off most dresses or skirts. Tunics and robes sure, but dresses and skirts need a little flaring at the waist to give them their characteristic shape, and most men just don't have the hips for it. Otherwise they just become oversized T-shirts. Which is fine too, but wearing a piece of clothing that doesn't look like the article of clothing that it is, just kind of feels like missing the point. If you want to wear a baggy T-shirt, fine, go nuts...but why wear a dress that looks like a baggy T-shirt when you could just wear baggy T-shirt?
@ivory makes an interesting point about men not holding themselves to the same standards they hold women to though. Which -for the record- I kind of agree with, but when I think back on the things I've noticed about women, I can't help but wonder if men and women actually have entirely different standards in mind when they're talking about physical beauty or attractiveness. Because when I think back, it's usually the "big picture stuff" that strikes me first - the colours that they're wearing, dress/skirts vs. shorts vs. pants, height, figure etc.
All of which are things that you could spot from a mile away. But unless if it's something incredibly salient (like apple green lipstick), I never actually find myself picking up on a lot of the details that you would only be able to see within talking distance: I don't notice things like makeup foundation or plucked eyebrows, much less things like manicured nails. Maybe I'm just colossally inattentive, but it'd be interesting to see whether the different genders actually pick up on different aspects of appearance when they look at people. I'd never even thought of plucking my eyebrows before @ivory brought it up- hell, I don't think I'd even actively thought about them before, except for those few odd moments during childhood when I wonder what I'd look like if they were singed off in an explosion or something.
P.S. Congrats to @N1ghtW1ng for hitting exactly 10 000 posts! Holy crap that's got to be a lot of high fives.
@Asche see... you dont THINK you notice. A lot of natural make up is geared at making people look objectively better - brighter eyes, clearer skin, blushing cheeks. Things that we're primed to find attractive. Plus add facial symmetry. And with eyebrows, lips and cheeks - its about framing the face correctly and highlighting areas you want people to notice. I look at my boyfriend when hes dishevelled all the time thinking, yeah this is okay, people dont have to put in effort. But when he shaves and I pluck his eyebrows and his hair is done this is me:
anyway. My main problem with makeup and standards is, for women, its considered not normal to be makeup-less. Workplaces require women to wear makeup. Not wearing making is a sign of psychological distress/is noteworthy/deteriorating mental state when seeing a psych. Women get shaped by society to hold themselves t such rigourous standards it is extremely damaging to physical and mental health. Take shaving, for instance - my sister, who has dark hair, shaved every single day until her follicles were infected and the doctor told her she had to stop. She was so embarrassed by the hair she wore thick skin coloured stockings every day in the height of an Australian summer. Beyond personal preferences, society shaped girls to be solely concerned with their appearance and it makes me sad.
I'm actually super interested in this, like in terms of clinical and subclinical disordered eating as a culture-bound syndrome, and how culture shapes self perception. Did you know Japanese Geishas were considered beautiful if they had black teeth?
@ivory see, I don't actually disagree with you when you say that I do notice. I just don't know I do. I'm not suggesting that makeup doesn't make a difference, because empirically it does. But the thing is, I know so many of my female friends by their "made-up" faces that I don't actually spot it on most women until they've taken it off. At which point, the whole "oh, you look tired today" thing kicks in, because all of the usual stuff that keeps women looking constantly alert and perk- fake eyelashes, mascara and eyeliner to get rid of eyebags and "enlarge" the eye is gone. And when you're in the moment of making that observation, you're not even thinking "oh, they only look tired because they don't have makeup", it's just "oh, they look tired" or "oh, they look different today". (Not that I've ever actually told anyone they look tired unless they make a point of bringing it up themselves. It might be a cultural thing, I don't usually comment on people's appearances, period. It's rarely- if ever- relevant to the discussion at hand, so I usually don't see the point in saying anything, unless if someone has food stuck on their face or something.) The actual why of it doesn't come until you start thinking about it later - at least for me, anyway.
Which is why I'm thinking that different genders might have different standards of beauty. As far as I'm concerned, so long as you're reasonably fit and in clothes that fit, that's already enough, since those are the things that I'm most likely to actively spot. I might react differently based on whether or not you have makeup on/eyebrows plucked, etc., but they're unlikely to form any part of a criteria list that I can consciously tick off, so there's only so high of a bar that I can set there. Whereas based on what you've said, it seems like you do notice these things consciously. Which means you're able to scrutinize these things to a much finer degree than the unconscious impression I work from, which makes it possible for you to set the standards higher...although ironically, it sounds like women are so used to being disappointed that even though they can judge more harshly, that they don't 
In case it IS just me though, I'd be curious to know whether your boyfriend's guy friends actually notice when you've plucked his eyebrows. You might be whooping with joy going "finally, god damn", but I'm imagining most of his friends will just eye him and either a) notice nothing diffferent at all, or b) think that there's something different about him, but not actually be able to put a finger on it.
That's an interesting point though, although I think they should still wear dresses, even if they might look like a baggy shirt (my sister wears dresses that look like baggy shirts :P)
I don't notice make up that much either, only when it's very obvious like the high school girls who look like they've caked it on.
I'm probably like a guy when it comes to noticing new things about a person's appearance 😛
@ErinsAntics I hate women's sizes so much because there is so much difference between brands, stores, styles and items of clothing. It's just... what? 😛 Whereas men's seem so much simpler. I can't speak for the pants, but men's shirts are.
Sometimes I feel a bit attacked(I don't think that's the right word, it's more a personal attack, as in I'm attacking myself kind of... I dunno) when I put on sizes. When it comes to my chest, I think my size is too big, even though it's not but that's more because I hate boobs 😛
The worst part is buying singlets though, I tried to get a 12, which I am in shirts (unless it's changed, I haven't bought a women's shirt in AGES) but it was too big. I actually went down to an 8 just to get a singlet that fit. Sizes are just so annoying and inconsistent.
Do you guys every get the thing with singlet tops where the straps are really really long? like long enough that your boobs are just straight up out. I don't get it. I'd have to turn singlets into racerbacks just so i could wear them
Don't get me started! Big busted here and trying to find nice tops for Summer has been crazy this season! I have actually had to go into middle aged womens stores (nothing wrong with them just my Mum shops there haha!) just to find some nice tops that don't make me spill out of them!
Lets talk sizing! No stores have the same sizing and its annoying, I'm normally a 14 but clothing companies seem to think women don't have boobs so I have to go up to 16 at times. Also there's a certain store where I am 16 in their jeans, 14 in their shorts and can be a 10,12 or 14 in their tops and dresses no consistenty! But I am always a L (I tell a lie I am currently wearing a shirt from them which is a M) when it comes to their letter sizing.
So when I go shopping for clothes I grab a 14 and a 16 to try on because sometimes the 14 fits perfectly other times I can't breathe in it!
I went to try on a dress the other day and I was told in that brand if you're a 14 you're a 14 despite having 2 other dresses in 14s I was a 16!
Also women shouldn't put value on their dress sizes its just a size and I am trying to train myself not care about my clothing size because yes I need to loose weight but honestly it shouldn't matter about what size you are when it comes to clothes as long as you are confident and rock your style 
I honestly feel that 14/16 shouldn't be considered big when its the average size of the Australian woman and face it we are awesome
It frustrates me so much because SO many guys would look amazing in femme fashion. I keep hassling my boyfriend to wear crop tops because i think theyre so cute on men (on anyone, really. cute tummy galore!!!) and so many dudes would look good in high heels.
Actually! The origin of the high heel was that it was for men, because pretty legs were considered the epitome of beaty, and high heels are made to emphasis calves.
look at those gams!
@Bree-RO I hadn't noticed prices, but I'm not surprised. Being female is so expensive. Bras, pads/tampons, exessive amounts of beauty products, clothing. I never buy womens shirts anymore though, mainly because of the sleeves and, in my opinion, terrible styles.
This might be going slightly off topic, but I have to admit that one of the things I appreciate about being male is not having to be anywhere near as concerned about fashion. I've barely changed my wardrobe over the past couple years, and I can pretty much go through the entire year with a revolving combo of slacks, collared shirts and a sweater (+coat +scarf during the colder months) like a less atrociously, (but no less consistently) dressed Steve Jobs, and no one'll bat an eye. Even if it looks like I've been wearing the same clothes for 4 weeks because I have like 6 pairs of pants that are roughly the shame shade of black, grey or blue, and I have the same coat on (dry cleaning is so expensive, you guys 
).
I also don't know if it's just me, but I feel like fashion codes are much easier to figure out. T-shirt/Polo with shorts/khakis/jeans for casual, button up-shirt with khakis/slacks for smart casual (+blazer if it's cold), then white button-up + tie +blazer with slacks for formal/businesswear. I think women have a more ambiguous sliding scale that makes it much harder to figure out what to wear and if you're overdressing/underdressing. (As a sidenote: there should be a rule that people hosting events stipulating dress codes should give examples of what they mean.) The fact that smart casual and formal for guys is so similar also means that we can get away with having like...6 pieces of clothing in our wardrobe that'll cover pretty much all our fashion needs, provided we're happy to do laundry everyday. Which is pretty neat if you hate shopping for clothes like I do. (I have two conditions for buying clothing: 1. That it should fit correctly and 2. That is should not be hideous. Somehow, this makes it completely impossible to buy anything. Although I imagine it's even worse for women, because you have more measurements to take into consideration.)
On the upside, I feel like girls can get away with more diverse styles to choose from, even if it takes more effort to get there?
@Asche women certainly do have a lot more freedom. also the ability to crossdress without having sexuality questioned or violence ensuing. Guys have it pretty easy, and yet so many of them look like theyve never seen a mirror. And THEN they have the audacity to tell a girl she has to look perfect constantly! I hate it.
Guys should take some grooming lessons from feminine people. pluck your eyebrows or something. hold yourself to the same standards you hold women to.
I actually don't take any notice to fashion and wear what I want when I want. This can be sports clothes and hoodies, or shorts all year round because I hate jeans. I wear converses with dresses, because I can. My favourite colour to wear is yellow. I have dressed in all yellow for a party once LOL.
The worst thing about being female is when it comes to running and playing sport. I'm someone who religiously shaves my legs because I'm always in shorts and can't stand it, and now I wear make up just because I can, not for expectation. But buying clothes is annoying especially when I'm a midget.
Great thread @N1ghtW1ng! I definitely agree with the annoyance of having to wear another singlet under a see-through top!
I'd love to join your rant. *Takes a deep breath*
Firstly, I'm a shorty. I'm also proportioned so that I have a shorter torso and longer legs. I don't mind the longer legs, but whenever I want to buy a nice shirt or dress, the neckline goes down so low you can see everything!
Secondly, speaking of chests, sometimes I find that a dress or a shirt fit me nicely everywhere but my chest! I guess this can be for girls who are smaller or larger in their chest size.
Thirdly, regarding shaving, the back of my knees get so itchy I've actually managed to give myself scabs before!
OK, I feel better now. 🙂 Rant over.
Oh man! Men's clothes! I've just takjen to buying mens shirts because theyre usually cooler and i like the cut a lot better. love baggy shirts and cutting off the sleeves. tbh i hate womens fashion, i hate fashion commentators. i love wearing cool n quirky things and i dont like people saying stuff like oh florals are for spring, blacks should stay in winter, dont wear pajamas as clothes....
I've started to just. really start to reject the mainstream idea of beautiful, and really embraced weird and different things, like body hair and chubby bodies that ARENT just a little waist and big boobs and hips. Makeup trends right now are so boring.. all nude shades (i saw someone post a picture of beige nikes saying 'goals and i ???) and on-fleek eyebrows. i shaved my eyebrows off and i wear a lot of kids clothes and i really like clown makeup. a lot of people say i look weird or guys dont like it, or my body hair is gross and im like, good! i dont want to be beautiful! I'm smart and creative and funny and much more than beautiful!!
i hate boobs being sexualised the most. i remember in high school i was constantly told to cover up, or singlets were inappropriate JUST because i had big boobs. i feel so self conscious at the beach and running and all that. theyre just sacks meant for feeding babies but because people are weird i cant be topless in summer ðŸ˜
Hey @N1ghtW1ng, awesome thread - for all genders! It can be very frustrating the pressures on human beings to present a certain way. I would like to second the sleeve issue, why do they do this to sleeves?
I also get frustrated with the price difference between similar cuts across male and female. Blokes shirts can be a lot cheaper than females, essentialy made from the same cotton/linen. Has anyone else found this?
