Self Talk and Self Awareness
Hi guys!
I just wanted to do a little post about self talk and self awareness. Managing my self talk in particular is something that I tend to have a bit of trouble with so I thought it would be cool to hear other people's perspectives on it. For those who don't know, self talk refers to the little voice in your head that determines how you perceive situations. This voice can be positive/ realistic (I tried my best in that test and studied hard so I should do fine) or negative/ unrealistic (I probably did terrible in that test and am going to fail), The best example of self talk I can think of in pop culture is Nina Proudman's inner voice in the TV series 'Offspring' (check out the link below, in particular the first 30 odd seconds).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbChZnVEuww&feature=related
I think above link showcases self talk really well. In the first part of the clip you have an example of negative self talk, and in the next part you have an example of positive self talk. Nina's inner voice reminds me a lot of my own I have to say! 😛
On the other hand, I actually think I am pretty good at self awareness. I often think about why I react to things in a certain way, or how I can play to my strengths in different situations (figuring out my learning style has helped a lot at uni!). Being self aware can help you to figure out what your strengths are and what is important to you. One strategy that I've used to improve my self awareness is by writing reflections or using thought challenging questions. These strategies force my to consider my thought or reaction, whether it is realistic (and if not why not) and why I might be having that thought or reaction. I've found improving self awareness is actually a good way to deal with negative self talk because I've got the insight to figure out whether my self talk is realistic or not.
Do any of you guys have difficulties controlling your self talk, or is it not really an issue? If so, what strategies do you use? I would love to hear them!
Do you think you are very self aware? What other strategies do you think could be used to boost selfawareness?
If you want to read more about self talk and self awareness there are some great links under Wellbeing > Mental Fitness > Self talk and self awareness on the main Reach Out test site. I particularly liked this one: http://test.au.reachout.com/What-is-self-awareness
I'm keen to hear (or read haha) your thoughts 🙂
I am guessing that there are many more people than we think that deal with the issue of self-talk. It has been something I've dealt with all of my life and mostly been a struggle not to let it defeat me. I have recently left a stable job to start a new business venture and battle it every day - that voice asking me what the heck are you doing and what makes you think you can be successful.
I heard a really simple explanation I want to share with you that helped clarify things for me about staying in the moment. I never really understood what that was until just recently. The thinking goes that depression is when all of our thoughts are stuck in the past and anxiety is when all of our thoughts are stuck worrying about the future so staying in the present is not allowing your thoughts and self-talk to go either to past regrets or fear of the future.
So every time my self-talk start going to either place I just tell myself that I am not going to think about that right now and I am going to focus on whatever the task at hand is. I am just going to take one more step towards my goal and not allow my thinking to go anywhere else. It has really helped me and I hope it does you too! And you are soooo right – self-awareness is the key! Only if I am aware of my thought patterns can I hope to change them. Thanks so much for this post!
Hey @Waltny groudning yourself in the present sounds like a really handy way to deal with negative self-talk, and i'm glad it's an approach that has helped you!
Best of luck with your business venture!
I really need to work on this myself. I just last night had a random feeling of self hate. No reason, nothing really happened to trigger it, it just came on. I'm working on how to positively change my outlook on myself and life as i tend to see the negatives of most things. Some days are harder than others though but we can get through it as long as we keep trying.
I think self-awareness and self-talk are so important! I have to admit that sometimes I can fall into the trap of 'overthinking' but it's saved me from so many situations that could have gone wrong.
Positive self-talk is also an amazing thing, after all there's a quote that says 'you are your own worst enemy' so if you can be your own best friend then there's nothing stopping you from achieving anything!
When I was about 14 my self talk or 'voice in my head' would be extremely negative. I would always tell myself 'this isn't going to work', 'what are you doing' that sort of stuff. However, as I've grown up I've realised that that sort of stuff was so bad for my mental health and well-being. Now when the voice in my head chimes in, it's usually with good thoughts and messages. For me, the way I got to that was being around people that are supportive and encouraging and removing the people from my life who are negative and rude. I think it was also adjusting to many new realities (high school, relationships, sexuality) which added to this. But what I've found is that I'm a lot better off now then what I was. Of course my self talks are sometimes negative, but I realise what triggers these and how to deal with them. I notice that when I get tired my self talks are extremely negative, and when I realise this I tend to just stop what I'm doing, breath, and do something less taxing on myself, such as going for a walk or talking to a close mate. I think self talk is something that we all have and it's something that can be quite difficult to control, especially in tough times, but once we do have it under control it stays that way.
You're not alone there @crazycream. Have you heard about self-talk before?
For anyone who wants to find out more about self-talk check out these great articles and stories RO has created!!!
How's everyone's self talk going? 🙂
What sorts of things do you notice your mind saying to you?
Yeah it does make sense, I suppose it's better than having constant negative thoughts/ self talk. Despite that I really hope you can find some clarity which helps the "mental fog" lift.
I have never know about self talk before. Now, I just realize that i have been doing it . For several years my self tak usually is negative. I blame the condition and the other people . I thought that I am such a bad luck.
Our thoughts affect our actions. Our actions affect the outcome . Thanks to this web , now I know what's wrong with me.
I recommend Tony Robbin's book which can change our life "Re-awaken the Giant Within."
There are some tips to change our negative thoughts become positive 
Hey @Xeroxpie,
It sounds like you've noticed that your self talk in the past hasn't been so positive, and that you're now correcting that. Well done! This is a fantastic step to take for any body who struggles with negative cognitions and self talk. You've mentioned a book there, what was the most iseful thing in this book for you? I'd also reccommend Russ Harris "The Confidence Gap" - a fantastic read and really brings to attention how we talk to ourselves, and how to be mindful throughout our lives. 🙂
Do any of you guys have difficulties controlling your self talk, or is it not really an issue? If so, what strategies do you use?
-I always remember that thoughts can be quite misleading and aren't always reflective of who you are. Everyone has thoughts that are unpleasant and disempowering from time to time so I just acknowledge when I have one of those thoughts and remind myself of some positive thoughts that are more true to me.
Do you think you are very self aware? What other strategies do you think could be used to boost selfawareness?
-keeping a diary is probably the best way I boost self awareness. No one has to see it so I can be completely myself and I can look back on it to see if there are any patterns in my thoughts and feelings.
just wandering around here atm
i find my self talk manages me unless i get a window of clarity to rush off and distract myself with music, a game or a menial household task (often still with music). something that doesn't always work is going out to a shopping center (there's one 5 min walk from me) and being (loosely) surround by strangers. the pressure of not wanting to look like some nut helps me keep control sometimes
It's also awesome that you have good, healthy strategies to help distract yourself. 🙂
Hopefully we'll see you more around the forums 😉
Hello, this is my first post on here so Im not entirely sure if I am doing it right. , Firstly I love Nina and offspring ,she makes me feel much more normal. I often make situations much much worse by over thinking and over analyzing. So they turn into a huge issue in my head ,even though it is not usually a big deal. I drive my dad and friends mad with it! I wish I could stop but its so hard to. I find it helpful to run ,dance and box or write in my journal and just let everything out so its not all stuck in my head ,I keep a notepad next to my bed to help when I cant fall asleep because im worrying too much ,it really helps. I also warn my friends if im going to be anxious or annoying ,just so they know. I hope you know that EVERYONE over thinks things and says awful things to themselves in their mind ,even Miranda kerr. 🙂
Hm, this is a very interesting topic.
Offspring! One of my favourite shows 
My self-talk is a bit of an oddball at times. When I'm upset or angry or anxious, I tend to overthink the situation and everything that could possibly happen. It becomes quite negative. I'm not sure about other people but I sometimes use negativity to stop myself from expecting so much; to avoid disappointment. Self-talk is fairly neutral to me. I know that if I keep focusing on the negativity and what could happen rather than what has happened, I'm not getting anywhere with it. For me, it really depends on the situation - like playing out my strengths and what obstacles are present.
Strategies that I use for self-talk would be thinking about the situation slowly, like breaking it down in smaller parts to have a thorough understanding of what's happened or what is happening. I like to recognise my strengths and what I have done is all I can do but I can always be better next time.
Personally, self-awareness is overzealous at times. I do recognise my strengths and weaknesses but I like to believe that anything is possible 
Writing helps and drawing diagrams works for me as well as to talking with friends about it.
Hi, I also have this problem of negative self talk. But I am managing to reduce its effects on me by using awareness meditation techniques. What you are basically doing is being aware of the negative thoughts and just letting them be without any sort of judgement.
In the past, I had some negative self talk before (still have some nowadays but less). It wasn't a lot, but looking back at it now, I can see how it changed the way I perceived events. A while ago, I was in a discussion about negative self talk and the subject came out about something called "cognitive distortions". Identifying these helped me eliminate a lot of negative self talk. They're basic patterns of negative thought that everyone should be familiar with.
For example, one thing is "mental filtering". What this is is that sometimes if something bad happens to us, we think to ourselves, "damn, this happens to me ALL the time." In reality though, what happened is that we just ignored all the good stuff and focused on the bad. Another example is "black and white" thinking, where we only consider two (usually opposite) possible outcomes or solutions to an event but ignore all middle grounds.
Anyways, I hope this talk about "cognitive distortions" helped as I found that they really helped me a lot and a lot of things that would've bothered me in the past can be totally ignored now.
