AMAA: Boundaries
We're excited to announce this month; two incredible guests will join us for another "Ask Me Almost Anything". Together we will be unpacking the topic of boundaries in relationships.
Personal boundaries are the rules and limits we decide are right for us.
They include things like:
- Saying no to catching up with a friend if you're not feeling up to it
- Sharing your pronouns with your family members
- Telling your partner what level of intimacy you are comfortable with
We all have different boundaries, and so do the people around us. But, of course, it's not always easy to navigate how to set boundaries, how to communicate them or what to do if you've crossed a boundary.
So, that is why we will be talking it out with our two guests:
Rashida is a Registered Psychologist in Sydney; Working in Private Practice and feeling honoured to work with the clients she does. With a special interest working with identity, culture and purpose.
A life-long love affair with wanting to understand people, their lives, experiences and worlds, and how it all intertwines and shows up in the way we behave led her down a path of traveling and living all over the world whilst studying Psychology. Passionate about advocating for destigmatizing mental illness and creating a more holistic approach to mental well-being.
Also a lover of nature, art, music, chai and sleep - all the great things in life
Akhil is a junior doctor and has a long-term relationship with ReachOut Australia as he joined the organisation as a youth ambassador in 2013 and went on to work as a research intern.
Akhil strongly believes in the equity of access to health information and services, and enjoys using data-driven approaches to help reach that goal. He is passionate about the not-for-profit sector, having founded his own mental health service for university students and worked at several other not-for-profit organisations dedicated to health improvement.
He loves playing tennis and doing pottery.
Get your questions in and we will be answering them LIVE on the 21st of July between 7pm - 9pm
Can't wait to see you all there!
Thank you for sharing that @GuestPsychologist1 and so glad you mentioned the added pressure with lockdowns. It's extra tough at the moment!
For sure, which is where all of those micro actions you can take can be really helpful.
In terms of creating more observable boundaries - this can take time. Don't give up if the first conversation with parents around boundaries doesn't go to plan or if the first boundary you put in place doesn't get respected. It may take a few conversations, but if the seed gets planted you can water it gradually until they start to respond in a better way.
I think putting in place boundaries with family and at home can be a great scaffold to building healthy relationships and feeling confident in setting boundaries in other settings or within other relationships!
I have to go now, but thanks for the great chat @GuestPsychologist1 @Akhil-RO!
I've loved reading everyone's responses!
Looking forward to reading the rest tomorrow! 🙂
Cya @WheresMySquishy! Thanks for chatting tonight 🙂 I hope you are able to do something nice for yourself after this chat ❤️
Thank you to the user who submitted this important question.
If anyone has had an experience where your boundaries were pushed and you need support - I will be sharing some resources again at the end of the chat tonight.
What should we do if we feel pressured into loosening our boundaries?
Sometimes people can put pressure on us to loosen our boundaries, and out of fear of losing that person, we can often succumb to that pressure. However, this could be at the detriment of our own health and wellbeing. if we do feel pressured into loosening our boundaries, it is important to just take a step back, get support of people we trust and mabe a professional to hopefully get some perspective on what to do. When we feel ready, we can talk to that person again about why our boundaries are important, and why you want them to be respected.
As we have kind of talked about before, we hope that people will always respect our boundaries and not challenge them, but it isn't always the case. If you feel like your boundaries are constantly being pressured by someone else, you might have to re-evaluate your relationship with them.
Definitely a good take away from tonight @Akhil-RO - boundaries aren't always easy but that doesn't mean you shouldn't set them.
And @GuestPsychologist1 taking time to lean on the supports you trust!
This is when i would return to ensuring you create a strong support network around you whilst you are putting in place boundaries. These support people can be helpful in re-assuring you that your boundary is valid and you are entitled to have it in place, helping you when the doubt creeps in or the pressure to loosen them mounts up.
We've been talking a lot about boundaries in personal relationships. It's great that this question came up.
What kind of boundaries exist in a professional context?
Also - remember to take your lunch break! Rest + food = energy. Energy to keep doing your work.
Exactly @Akhil-RO and @GuestPsychologist1 - without good professional boundaries, burn out is inevitible.
If you continue to notice you are not able to complete your work within the hours you are at work and it repeatedly leads to you doing over-time or having to take work home, speak to your manager or someone you feel comfortable enough with to work out steps in rectifying this.
There can be many boundaries within a professional setting. Boundaries such as keeping your work to within the hours you are paid to work. Packing away all of your work things at the end of the day so that you can transition into your personal life (WFH life can lead to alot of blurred boundaries and the old 'let me just check or respond to that email...'). Not working on the weekend! Taking your weekends to actually enjoy life outside of work. Turning off your work email notifications from your phone.
I should add though if your shifts are only rostered for the weekends, then don't take the weekends off haha.
Having just started working with a new team, this is something I have been thinking about recently. The boundaries we set in our professional life are just as important as those in our personal life. There are of course some similarities, but also some differences. Some things that I have learnt are:
- Boundaries are super important in professional contexts
- Talk with those around you early and proactively! This can be about about things you are and are not comfortable doing, or around time and hours of work
- Hopefully there is an HR team at your workplace. They can be really helpful to chat to early on
- Even if someone is in a more senior position to you/your boss, they should ALWAYS respect your boundaries!
Workplaces seem so scary to me cause a lot can go wrong with boundaries! 😞 I need to stop being so scared of everything 😬
As someone who is scared of a lot of things 😁 I relate haha. It does get easier the more you have to do things that are intimidating.
@Akhil-RO big YES to management/ boss or people in senior positions showing all employees respect!
