Gender- Ask a Pro Live with Kai and Olivia July 25th 2019

So, I’m currently in the process of getting hormones, so far I’ve had to see my GP, who referred me to a psychologist, who I need to see a few times before seeing a Psychiatrist and getting referred to an endocrinologist to eventually be able to start HRT. almost like a wild goose chase for testosterone, but  I get why it's done this was and I know that it will be more than worth it! 

Wow @KaiRoe  the process to get hormones seems quite difficult... do you find that there is also a cost barrier that might be an issue for a lot of people? 

@recharging_introvert Yeah! i feel like that might also be a barrier when people are transitioning, its awful but unfortunately but being trans does have a financial cost if you want to transition

@KaiRoe  @recharging_introvert I often find myself annoyed at the cost of medicines and healthcare! One of the things my doctor told me to use regularly is 3ml for $30! I think more should be done to make healthcare more affordable for young people. I often get my family members to pick up some of my medications because they can get discounts due to being in the medical field.

@KaiRoe does Medicare cover any of it?

@Tiny_leaf medicare can cover the appointments with your GP, Psychologist and Psychiatrist I'm not too sure about the endo or the hormones themselves, maybe @Olivia_QLDchildrensHospital could help us out here? 

@KaiRoe @Tiny_leaf  re costs

Private professionals may have gap fees. Check with your local LGBTIQAP+ youth service for your local health options. When you go to a children's gender service in a public hospital (under 18 years, sometimes under 16 years) its free or just a small gap fee at the pharmacy if you don't have a healthcare card, all the professional appointments are no charge

QLD:  https://www.childrens.health.qld.gov.au/service-gender-clinic/

VIC: https://www.rch.org.au/adolescent-medicine/gender-service/

They also see Tasmanians in VIC clinic

WA: https://pch.health.wa.gov.au/Our-services/Mental-Health/Gender-Diversity-Service

NSW

http://www.hnekidshealth.nsw.gov.au/site/gender

https://www.wslhd.health.nsw.gov.au/Westmead-Hospital/Adolescent---Young-Adult-Medicine/Adolescent-Ambulatory-Care-Centre

Some great state based resources @Olivia_QLDchildrensHospital!

Online peer support can be a valuable first step, and it is so great to hear that speaking online in a supportive space among peers was helpful for you @KaiRoe 

It is heartbreaking that transphobia and homophobia are still prevalent in our society  We had a question submitted and I would love to hear your thoughts @KaiRoe. What are some ways you have educated someone who is transphobic?

What are some ways you have educated someone who is transphobic?

if it's safe to do so i usually bring up something about how i exist and that my identity is valid, i also just make sure that i realise that not all people are going to listen and respond well so i always take my safety into consideration, sometimes i find its easier to just let it go, unless im going to be around that person in an ongoing manner in which case i try my best to make it known that i am valid 

it sounds like it's a really delicate balancing act at times @KaiRoe , between being firm and being cautious, i can't imagine how frustrating and daunting that must be 😞 It really emphasises just how important it is to listen and to have the voices of trans role models like you raised, so that people see and can recognise that trans people exist and that who they are is valid!  

We are going to try and get through as many questions as we can in the next 20 minutes! 

Here we go...

On the forums we often hear from young people about coping with gender dysphoria. What are some good ways to cope with gender dysphoria in everyday life?

and another question submitted was:

Gender diversity has transcended centuries- So why have gender discussions become an increasingly important and discussed topic only in recent years? Why hasn't it been talked about more openly earlier?

Gender diversity has transcended centuries- So why have gender discussions become an increasingly important and discussed topic only in recent years? Why hasn't it been talked about more openly earlier?

I know most participants here know that diverse gender has always existed on every continent there are so many different language words to describe gender beyond the binary

http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/content/two-spirits_map-html/

but the social change that has made it safer for Trans and gender diverse people to disclose identity is not everywhere.  Also many people are speaking up about who they are to access treatments that can reduce gender dysphoria. We dont think there are more trans people just more known trans people. The big rise has been in youth because they can find stories online that resonate with their experiences which helps them communicate how they are feeling. Many years ago (pre trans celebrities) adults would see a TV special and realise for the first time in their life that there was a word for how they have felt all their lives. Im like pre-internet old and I can tell you that no-one knew the word trans or what that meant when I was at Uni!!!  Cant talk about something or disclose your identity if you dont have any words for it or think you are the only one

Not safe everywhere: 😞

https://ilga.org/maps-sexual-orientation-laws

Gender diversity has transcended centuries- So why have gender discussions become an increasingly important and discussed topic only in recent years? Why hasn't it been talked about more openly earlier?

 The internet. its just become a lot more widely known about, people are feeling safer to come out and share their experiences online. It’s also become a lot more important in my opinion, to make sure everyone feels comfortable and heard. It’s not really a new thing, its just that its becoming more publicly known.

100% the internet! The problem isn't that it wasn't discussed -- it was only discussed in small, isolated corners. The internet allows everyone's voices to be heard more accessibly. 

There's also the issue of social norms + the role of culture and religion. Like @Olivia_QLDchildrensHospital said, diverse gender has always existed, and the ways we perform gender varies from culture to culture.

My support network includes my amazing girlfriend, Lilith, a bunch of my friends, and my family, its really important to have people who are there for you!

We are coming to the end of our chat, so here are the last three questions for tonight! We do have a lot more questions that we didn't get to today, so we will post a few more tomorrow to give you an opportunity to read the incredible answers from @KaiRoe and @Olivia_QLDchildrensHospital 

At what age do you think that kids/teens/young adults know their gender identity and at what age can they make decisions about transitioning?

Is there a way to become more conscious about using gender neutral pronouns with friends who you used to refer to them with gendered pronouns? How can I be an ally to my friends?

Can your gender identity change over a lifetime? A year? A day?

Is there a way to become more conscious about using gender neutral pronouns with friends who you used to refer to them with gendered pronouns? How can I be an ally to my friends?

Use the right pronouns and name, stick up for them when others dont. Apologise but move on quickly if you make a mistake. Be the change you want to see in the world and get involved in events and activities that spread love and acceptance

Can your gender identity change over a lifetime? A year? A day?

Sure, humans vary in so many ways and over time. I think its probably like sexuality though it's not likeley to swing wildly from one end to the other (or at least i have not ever seen that). Shifts from binary to non-binary happen and vice-versa. This would be a great epidemiological research topic for any budding scientists, sexual health nurses or psychologists out there 😉

@Olivia_QLDchildrensHospital I've actually heard of people who do swing wildly.

Like, for me my gender stays within a certain part of the spectrum, but I've heard of some people whose genders can range over the entire spectrum of gender (and agender).

There's an ABC documentary somewhere with someone who buys "male" and "female" clothing for any formal events, since they have no idea what gender they'll be when the day comes. 

Hey thanks for sharing that knowledge @Tiny_leaf  and thanks for your excellent contributions and questions tonight. 

@Jess1-RO that last question made me smile a bit - I'm gender fluid so my gender doesn't really stay still, and I can go from almost female to completely outside the binary in the space of an hour sometimes. 

At what age do you think that kids/teens/young adults know their gender identity and at what age can they make decisions about transitioning?

Developmental psychologists research this a lot and we know that most people know their gender identity by age 5. This doesn't mean that all people yell this from the rooftops at age 5 because there is also this process called binary socialisation which is constant reinforcement from the moment you are born that your sex = gender and there are only two boxes. Most young people come out after puberty has begun or as adults when they become aware that the difference they have always felt has a name... and they feel safe enough to do so

And that is a wrap on our live chat tonight!

I want start by saying A HUGE AND SINCERE THANK YOU to our amazing, brave, resilient and generous guest speakers tonight @Olivia_QLDchildrensHospital and @KaiRoe. I am so in awe of the experiences, knowledge and passion that you have brought to this discussion tonight I know I speak for so many people here at ReachOut when I say that you are both amazing human beings and I can't wait to see how we can continue these conversations forward to support Trans and Gender Diverse young people on the forums and in our communities

Also a huge thank you to all of you, posting and reading, who joined us tonight! It is your thoughtful comments and replies that help to make these conversations a safe and supportive environment to talk about important topics like gender, and create a space for us to learn and share together  

Tomorrow we will be posting a ton more resources, links and some questions we didn't get to tonight so stayed tuned!