originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:50 PM

I have! It was in the middle of my year 12 exams. I was frantically revising - convincing myself I was going to fail and my mind went blank. I couldn't remember anything. I felt this serious sense of panic that lasted the entire sleepless night. Next day I looked pretty awful. I was about half an hour away from an exam and my best friend Nicky saw me and was like what is going on??? I burst in to tears and it all came flooding out. The weeks and months of anxiety. That sense of relief and release was amazing! That was the first time I'd admitted things weren't so good. I'm so glad I did!!

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:49 PM

Have you ever told someone you were not OK? If you feel like sharing, tell us a little bit about it! 

 

 

 

I have a few times... I can't really think of just one example, theres a few. I think the biggest thing would be when I was a bit younger and things were definitely 100% not ok and I'd been hiding things for so long and even when people ask me if things were ok I'd just say yeah its all fine but one day I actually told someone I wasn't ok and  it made a huge difference

 

 

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:50 PM

Have you ever told someone you were not OK? If you feel like sharing, tell us a little bit about it!
I am lucky that I have a few very close friends and I have been able to open up to. It is a balance for me of pride and resilliance. I was encourage to always be very resiliant and I am grateful for that ... but it does mean that i can take everything onto my own shoulders and not ask for help. My closest friends can read me like a book and will always check in and ask me whats going on. I must say for myself trusting someone enough to show those vulnerabilites is the biggest thing! I guess thats why acting is a great outlet becasue you can experience so many feelings and express them safely 🙂

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:55 PM

@Katherine-ruok I find that a very interesting point you make from an acting perspective. Normally, I'd believe that acting would make someone less likely to share since they can hide it more naturally.

originally posted on 08-09-2016 10:00 PM

I can understand your perspective! I'm not very good at hiding anything... probably helps with acting!! Most actors I know are highly empathetic and expressive but alot are also very introverted! Like most groups - there is alot of diversity 🙂 

originally posted on 08-09-2016 10:04 PM

I think picking the right time and place is important. You want to have the conversation somewhere where they'll be comfortable opening up. I like to pick somewhere comfy and relatively quiet. But I think it should be somewhere you'd normally hang - like a cafe or the quiet corner of a park or the beach 🙂 Then it's about showing you're serious about listening to them. I'm such a chatter box that I have to remind myself to give them space to think and share. So sometimes I even count the pauses to make sure I'm not rushing them along 🙂

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:11 PM

@N1ghtW1ng that's alright, have a good chill 🙂

originally posted on 08-09-2016 8:41 PM

@RevzZ @roseisnotaplant @Bay52VU @redhead @N1ghtW1ng, coming to say hi? 

originally posted on 08-09-2016 8:42 PM

Totally @Ben-RO 

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:01 PM

Thanks for the tag @Ben-RO 😛

Hey everyone!!

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:03 PM

Likewise @Ben-RO, though I've had this in the back of my head the whole day anyway haha. Wasn't gonna miss this on.

 

Hi!

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:04 PM

@RevzZ Awesome RO commitment, love it 🙂

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:03 PM

Hey @j95, glad you could join us!

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:06 PM

Why is it so important to ask RUOK?

 

Asking the question literally saves lives. This is a really tough fact, but suicide is the leading cause of death for young people living in Australia . One of the things that can make someone feel like ending their life is feeling isolated, like they have noone to talk to about what they are going through. When you ask RUOK you break through that isolation and that's pretty awesome! 

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:09 PM

Hmm so it seems to me that it's hard to talk about what's happening when you're not OK? Is there some sort of barrier that we feel that stops us from asking for help? What's up with that? 

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:19 PM

Some of that comes from not wanting to burden others with our problems. This is especially true with those who have low self-esteem already, and who feel that their problems are worth wasting others' time over. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because other then act with no knowledge of their needs, and this invisibly reinforces the self-perception of worthlessness. 

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:14 PM

@Ben-RO

Yes! I know many who get the feeling that they won't talk to others when they're not ok because they sometimes internalise it and believe that it's their own fault and that they have to get out of it themselves. Another thing I've heard is that no one else understands how they feel and thus won't be able to help them.

 

Changing beliefs and perspectives on these things would definitely be helpful, though it is a hard step to take.

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:11 PM

Research shows that stigma is the main thing that stops people asking for help. Stigma is defined as 'a mark of disgrace' We feel culturally ashamed to show that we are vulnerable. What we need to do is build a strong positive community where we feel we can talk about mental health and well being

originally posted on 08-09-2016 9:23 PM

It's not necessarily just stigma. Vulnerability is something that people who've been hurt a lot don't show, because they'rraid of being victimized again by somebody using the "weakness" they've show against them. As a psychologist, many of my most suicidal clients fear opening up for just that reason - they haven't learned how to manage relationships in a way that heads off people who take advantage, because they just want to be nice to everyone.