originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:49 PM

Have you had a not so great experience with seeking help? What do you think made it unhelpful? How could the experience have been made better?

 

I've actually mentioned the outcome of a particularly bad experience in the question above. It was pretty early in my help seeking days, I had just started with a trauma counsellor and second session in, I felt went really well, until I walked outside and fell apart. It took me the rest of the week to put myself back together. I brought it up with the counsellor in my next session, so she made a note in her diary to ring me a day after every session.

 

So don't be afraid to raise your concerns and share how things went after you left your sessions.

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:53 PM

I has sort of felt like this is happening....

service 1: sorry we cant support you cause we finished up working with you but you can go to service 2
service 2: sorry we cant support you we have finished with you and you're getting face to face support now, go to service 3
service 3: sounds like you might need someone to talk to on a regular basis, have you tried service 1 or service 2?

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:57 PM

@j95 yeah I totally know what you mean on that one with the service shuttle bus.

originally posted on 10-10-2016 9:00 PM

the service shuttle bus sounds about right @Bay52VU and it just takes you on the same frustrating trip over and over

originally posted on 10-10-2016 9:08 PM

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:48 PM

Have you had a not so great experience with seeking help? What do you think made it unhelpful? How could the experience have been made better?

 

The first time I ever tried to seek help in a face to face context I found the wait time unbearable, it was definitely more than a few weeks - even though that isn't really the counsellors fault, it still wasn't great and eventually I decided I couldn't wait for it so I didn't go. I did eventually get around to getting help a couple of years later and I didn't really feel safe or comfortable, I don't think that was a reflection of the professional or myself but we just didn't go together very well so I gave up.

I've also tried some of those online services which have been great to me at times but also can be quite unsupportive of me and refuse to help because I have finished accessing that service and have been attending face to face like they wanted me to so there isn't a lot of after hours stuff unless its crisis support so that sucks and really limits my options. 

 

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:43 PM

Have you had a good experience seeking help? What made it good? 

I don't have a specific instance in mind, but some things that have been good when I've sought help are:

• Feeling like they genuinely cared and wanted to help,
• Listening without making incorrect assumptions,
• Not trying to prematurely direct the conversation away from what I wanted to talk about / where I was at,
• Following up rather than being like "ok here's what you have to do, go do that. bye."
• Actually listening to why their suggested solution might not be helpful in this case, and trying to work together to find a different solution.

 

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:29 PM

Have you had a good experience seeking help? What made it good? 

 

When I finally found someone I could connect with and actually talk to and open up to, I'd say that was a pretty good experience. It took a bit of time so it was a huge relief. 

It was good because I felt heard, I felt like my counsellor understood what I was trying to say and if they didn't understand they kept digging and working it out. I felt comfortable, rather than feeling like there was a hierachy, it was less this professional is here to tell you what to do and more lets work together on it. 

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:35 PM

Have you had a good experience seeking help? What made it good? 

 

Yep! And the biggest thing was coming away from it seeing the problem as separate from me, rather than some fundamental aspect of me. I realised I could still be me and not have anxiety

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:33 PM

Have you had a good experience seeking help? What made it good?

 

Kind of? I wouldn't say I've ever had a particularly bad experience seeking help, but I don't think I've really found a counsellor or someone to talk to in a professional sense. I've had more success talking to friends and working through stuff with them, which is still valuable, because we understand each other and know how we can help or offer support.

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:22 PM

That's a good point @Bay52VU regarding hopefully feeling a bit better after, this is one of the reasons why i kind of like the idea of being told how it will help and the process, that way if i know if it's going to get a little worse before it gets better that this is okay- if stressful. 

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:30 PM

Have you had a good experience seeking help? What made it good? 

 

For me, it was listening to my concerns, if I had a particularly tough session, it was ringing me the following day or 2 to check up on me and making sure I was still okay. 

 

Asking for permission to refer me to another service / share relevent information with that service.

 

The fact that my GP and psychologist work together with my treatment.

Introducing me the the therapist that was taking over them when they went on leave in my last session with them.

 

And most recently, allowing me to chose the type of therapy I would like to receive.

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:01 PM

Hi everyone, welcome to our Getting Real on asking for help and what you can do if things don't go how you expected them to.

Our first question of the night is...

What are some of your expectations when seeking help? This can be if you've done it many times before or even just thinking about getting some help for the first time.

originally posted on 10-10-2016 9:16 PM

Hello everyone! Sorry I am a bit late... 

 

What are some of your expectations when seeking help? This can be if you've done it many times before or even just thinking about getting some help for the first time.

I think I personally had expectations that seeking help would just magically solve all my problems. But unfortunately therapy is not magic - it's a human trying to help another human to help themselves when you break it down. So I guess it is important to try to manage exceedingly high expectations and to be aware that you have an active role to play in the helping process. 

 

Have you had a good experience seeking help? What made it good? 

Yes - for me having someone to tell me everything is going to be okay and to challenge my negative thoughts is really helpful. I like solution-focused and strengths-based approaches (Eg practical things to try that might help and when they draw attention to your strenths and achievements).

 

Have you had a not so great experience with seeking help? What do you think made it unhelpful? How could the experience have been made better?

Yes - when they do not listen to what works for you and what doesn't work for you. It is very important for psychologists to listen to clients and find out what will work best for them.

 

originally posted on 10-10-2016 9:21 PM

Does the fear of a bad experience put you off seeking help?

Sometimes but not really because I have seen quite a few different people. I can definitely imagine it would be really scary if you had never seen anybody before though.

 

What are some ways to combat this fear?

To remind yourself that every counsellor/psychologist/social worker is different and it might take some time to find one that you can connect and work well with. Also to remember that if you hated the experience you do not have to go back or ever see the them again.

 

MOST IMPORTANTLY to remember that you are seeking help for yourself and you deserve it 

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:22 PM

What are some of your expectations when seeking help? This can be if you've done it many times before or even just thinking about getting some help for the first time.

 

I'd say an expectation would definitely be that my feelings/experiences would be validated. I would expect my concerns to be taken seriously no matter how trivial they might seem to other people. I'd hope that the person I'd turned to would listen to me without judgement and would be reliable e.g. keeping an appointment if we make one.

 

So far I've been really lucky and when I've sought help from various people, I've felt nothing but love and support from the people around me. 

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:14 PM

What are some of your expectations when seeking help? This can be if you've done it many times before or even just thinking about getting some help for the first time.

For the person to listen and understand what I'm saying, for the conversation/details to be confidential. Rightly or wrongly, I do kind of expect to at least feel a bit calmer or more in control of the situation after seeking help.

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:10 PM

 

Hey everyone! 

 

What are some of your expectations when seeking help?

 

For me, some of my expectations include how long is the session going to be? I think I've found a nice balance at 50 - 60 mins in that any shorter and not everything would be covered, longer and it would just drag on!

I would want someone who doesn't appear to be judgemental, doesn't force their core values on you, coz everyone is different. Allows me to go at the pace I would prefer.

 

And I would like to be informed of all the information out there, that way I can make an informed choice about my care/path.

 

I'm interested to see what other people think. 🙂

 

 

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:16 PM

Good point on the meds, @Ben-RO! I think it is important to note that medication isn't for eveyone and you shouldn't feel bad for needing it.

originally posted on 10-10-2016 8:18 PM

There was time this year where I felt like I didn't really have a choice over whether or not I wanted to take medication and I felt a bit voiceless and that I couldn't say no but I'm glad I feel a little bit better about it now @stonepixie @Ben-RO