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originally posted on 24-10-2016 9:20 PM
So you share these thoughts or feelings with someone else? Who do you turn to for support when you're going through a rough time?
Friends, trusted wise older adults, psychologist, GP, helplines, RO!
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 9:19 PM
I share these thing with my Partner, my Clinical supervisor and sometimes my Dad. That's about it! I find it tricky to talk about these things... hmm.
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:57 PM
- one coping strategy - Mindfulness breathing or some positive self talk
- one distraction strategy - Ask about it or pick 5 things around you that you can see that look like fun (if applicable)
- challenging your thinking strategy - Look at the opportunitites it could give you or the fun things that could happen
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:55 PM
Hello everyone!
What are some things to help us notice or be mindful of our reaction to a situation and how old experiences are influencing it?
I think it can be different for everyone, but I think being aware of what our triggers are and signs we are ruminating and getting stuck in the past are important to watch out for.
What are some things we can DO when regrets start to pop up in our head?
Notice them, challenge them and reframe our thinking. Practice self care. Talk with someone. Look at the positives and/or all you have done/achieved.
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:33 PM
@roseisnotaplant Hercule Poirot is an acceptable reason to miss the start of a GR haha 🙂
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:25 PM
Same for me @redhead! I often notice just that little bit too late when I've already been upset or done something stupid. However, I definitely know that practise helps break the cycle. When I notice I am ruminating about things, I always remind myself how the past CANNOT be changed at all and that it's actually completely unproductive to think of the "what if's" and "if only's".
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:21 PM
I know it's early but I have to call it a night (I haven't slept in 4 days) I look forward to seeing the rest of the chat later. Sorry guys. Night.Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:23 PM
yikes @redhead ! Yeah get some rest and take it easy- Mark as New
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:18 PM
@Ben-RO that's usually my problem, I don't notice it early enough to be able to redirect myself.Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:15 PM
@Ben-RO mindfulness is a good strategy and reminding yourself of the present. Sometimes it can be as simple as focusing on something like your breathing.Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:17 PM
That's awesome @redhead!
Do you reckon it can be tricky sometimes to realise that there's a bit of a spiral happening?
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:12 PM
@Alison5 I can relate to that cycle. Once it starts it can be hard to breakTrying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:11 PM
What are some ways memories of bad experiences or regrets get in the way of new, positive experiences for you?For me anyway, I find I focus so much on regrets and past experiences that I often miss out on the positive things happening around me. It's like living in the past which makes you miss the present.
They can definitely "kill the mood" when these memories come up and if not effectively delt with, you could be ruminating on them for hours.
And (for me anyway), I find I then hate myself for having engaged in the memory, ultimately leading to more regret and upset. It's a bit like a never ending cycle. 😐
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:07 PM
@j95 hi mateTrying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:07 PM
@Ben-RO haha great topic! Brains are pretty confusing things.A socially awkward situation that I usually like to forget - but which I'll recall today for this exercise - is that in Year 8 at Valentine's Day. I sent my old primary school crush a letter proclaiming my love to him. I hadn't seen him for years but going to a girls only school had significantly decreased my exposure to the opposite sex.
So yeah, sent him a letter, told him I loved him. He messaged me back (somehow, I forget exactly how) and said "yeah nah, not interested thnx". Brutal.
Certainly effected my confidence in approaching the opposite sex if I was crushing on them.
Don't leave me hanging now peeps - share you're own awkward/bad experience 😉
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:13 PM
What are some ways memories of bad experiences or regrets get in the way of new, positive experiences for you?
I get really worried that some bad things that have happened in the past could happen again. I start to think about some of those bad things over and over in my head and I find all the possible ways that new experiences won't work out because something not so good might happen.
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:12 PM
Whoa that's tough @StarLord!
I remember I moved to a new primary school when i was in like year 1. And I was really nervous and I wanted to impress the new kids. So when two of them came up to say hi i was like "what's 100 plus 100?" and immediately new how much of a derp i had been. To this day i don't know why i said that lol.
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:17 PM
@Ben-RO my childhood was made of days like that haha you're not alone!- Mark as New
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:19 PM
@StarLord hehe. Yeaaah that is definitely not the only time that occasionally makes me cringe when i remember it 😛
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:20 PM
@redhead and anyone else. What some things we can do to notice " the spiral" sooner?
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:23 PM
@FootyFan26 @j95 it seems to me like there's a slightly different thing that happens for you guys sometimes. For some of us the tricky part is the spiraling into worrying, thinking about bad stuff that can happen and remembering the bad experiences.
It seems like another thing happens though for some of us, we do things to avoid going anywhere near a bad, stressful or regretful situation. Is that okay?
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:27 PM
It's sort of ok but sort of isnt but we can't predict the future, who knows that it's going to definitely be bad? @Ben-RO like maybe I'll avoid but then it may of turned out ok anyway- Mark as New
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:25 PM
@Ben-RO I feel like in a way it's just instinct and sometimes it can actually prevent you from doing something where someone may get hurt or it could get in the way of an opportunity that really isn't of any danger to you.- Mark as New
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:31 PM
For some of us it seems like it's tricky to notice that the bad experiences are getting in the way.
What are some things to help us notice or be mindful of our reaction to a situation and how old experiences are influencing it?
