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originally posted on 24-10-2016 9:16 PM
I don't have a lot of people I share things with when I'm going through a rough time - sometimes I can count of my friends, sometimes not so much it depends on who it is, I can definitely count on RO- Mark as New
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 9:04 PM
Coping Strategy - mindfulness like where are my hands, deep breathing.Distraction - 5 things - things I can hear, see etc (not sure if this is coping or distraction)
Challenging negative thinking - Try to imagine when I thought things haven't worked out and they have, look at the possible postives, weighing up positives and negatives
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 9:10 PM
Coping Strategy - Freak out a bit, take a moment to work through it and then try the thing again. It takes about 20 minutes to get over that really really stressful bit, so if you ever feel like you've flipped your lid. Take a bit of time and then have another crack at it.
Distraction - 4-7-8 breathing: in for four, hold for seven out for eight 🙂
Challenging negative thinking - Be compassionate, think about what I would say to someone who was freaking out about a bad experieince, say that to myself. For e.g. Hey, it's okay to feel this way right now, that was a tough thing, give yourself a little time and remember that it's okay even if you do stuff up (which you probably won't :P)
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 9:01 PM
What are some things we can DO when regrets start to pop up in our head?One coping strategy - Its usually just a matter of time with me before I realize that regrets are regrets which means that whilst I'm cringing now (in the future), at the time, it was a response that I would have felt comfortable with.
One distraction strategy - I like to do something nice for someone else. Whether that be take my dog out or talk with someone who may be a little bit lonely. That usually makes me feel a little better and as always, it is productive! (If you haven't noticed, I like to be very productive with my time) 😛
One learning or challenging your thinking strategy - Every time a regret pops us, I like to ask myself (apart from: "Is this going to be productive?" B) ), but also: "Was it a good/appropriate decision at the very moment you did ...?" (And almost always, the answer is yes, hence why you did it!) 😃
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:51 PM
Haha. Me too @Ben-RO, but key words "thinking about" because I always convince my compassionate side that I'm not worthy of it.Therefore I think worthiness and self acceptance are important aspects in being compassionate to yourself.
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:57 PM
It sure is tricky to love yourself huh @Alison5!
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:50 PM
@roseisnotaplant that makes sooo much sense and I can actually relate in my own way- Mark as New
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:45 PM
I definitely agree @StarLord but I can definitely do some more practice around this!We are our own worst critiques!
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:44 PM
I practice compassion with myself but looking at things I have done in the past and how far I have comes, it makes me feel good about myself and makes me proud- Mark as New
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:38 PM
I'm really not sure about the answer to the this question
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:33 PM
Hello sorry I'm late guys, pretty good discussion going on here!My experiences are pretty similar! Rumination or just really inner feelings of inadequacy, thinking no one likes me cause I've been bullied in the past or getting scared that something bad is going to happen
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:32 PM
In answer to your question @Ben-RO, I usually notice this cycle by recognizing if I have had the same or similar thoughts and memories within the last couple of days. If I realize I have, I will take some time to shift my focus to something more productive and agree that I have spent enough time thinking about memories.So I sort of make a deal with myself (that helps me stop getting upset too)
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:39 PM
@Alison5 that's a really cool way of noticing and working through that!
Something I always find tricky (perhaps because of bad experiences) is practicing compassion with myself. Basically a lot of the time i can be pretty hard on myself and i have to remember that I am actually doing the best I can and that's pretty damn awesome. Is there anything you do to practice compassion for yourself? Sorry if that's a weird question 😛
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:42 PM
@Ben-RO @Alison5I've found it helpful sometimes to practice compassion on myself by thinking "if my good friend were in my shoes, what would I say to him/her?"
I really believe the world would be a lot more compassionate if we treated ourselves the way we treat our best friends.
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:41 PM
@Ben-RO positive self-talk and rewarding yourself for achieving goals or doing well.
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:29 PM
Heyyy! Sorry I'm late, I've been watching Poirot, it's very good, but I'm here now 
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:38 PM
@roseisnotaplant that has to be the best entry into a forum I've ever read 😄- Mark as New
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:48 PM
What are some things to help us notice or be mindful of our reaction to a situation and how old experiences are influencing it?
I think noticing that your reacting negatively to a not-necasarily-negative situation is a good way of being mindful, especially if you can identify why you're reacting in that way. A slightly weird example: I walk through a park to get to and from school. I know for a fact there are magpies in and around the park, and because of past experiences, the presence of magpies in this park makes me very tense. I know why this is and I know that it's kind of irrational because the magpies in the park are not evil and go about eating worms instead of attacking innocent passers by. So when I'm walking through this park and I notice that I'm slightly freaking out, I acknowledge it, and try and think rationally about the situation (as well as walking very quickly.)
Did any of that make sense? Did I just tell a long and irrelevant story about birds?
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:44 PM
What are some things to help us notice or be mindful of our reaction to a situation and how old experiences are influencing it?
For me it's all about mindfulness. I had to learn what chilled out @Ben-RO is like before I could notice when I was not being chilled out and doing something like worrying about ancient history. So that meant doing lots of mindfulness exercises like mindful eating, mindful listening and mindfulness meditation too.
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:46 PM
Something I love doing for compassion is thinking about what I would say to someone I really cared about who was in my situation, which is often not anywhere near as nice as I am being to myself about whatever the tough time is.
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 8:50 PM
Okay so we're kind of leading into the next question and have also kind of answered it in part, so we'll see how we go and maybe move on if y'all reckon we've covered it.
- one coping strategy
- one distraction strategy
- one learning or challenging your thinking strategy.
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 9:05 PM
- one coping strategy - I usually ask myself if it is something I can change, if not I tend to let it go.
- one distraction strategy - binge on netflix
- one learning or challenging your thinking strategy - I think my coping strategy is a thinking strategy.
Hmm ... maybe I should come up with another coping strategy, talk to someone you trust about it. They can sometimes help put things into prospective for you.
My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 9:10 PM
Wow so many great points on here!!
@roseisnotaplant Definitely agree with you, that makes heaps of sense to me. Walk fast and acknowledge that im being irrational is definitely what I do.
Recently I just write everything down so I can get it out of my head. Ill have a go and challenging my thoughts on paper if I feel I need it but sometimes I jsut need to get it out and when I write it down I sort've realise that it's irrational?
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originally posted on 24-10-2016 9:14 PM
@Stealth_ninja I also find writing things down very helpful. I have this book that's just full of incoherent brain thoughts, and it's cool to look down at the things you're worried about and be like, 'It's all just one paragraph. I can conquer one paragraph.'
