But it has to be purrrrfect!
Have you ever had that feeling of wanting something to be absolutely perfect? This could happen in various areas of life, for example, study, work, health, sports or creative endeavours - sometimes it just never seems to be 'good enough'.
Perfectionism has good and bad aspects. On the positive side, it might help us strive to do the best we can. But when we criticise ourselves for not being able to reach unrealistically high standards, perfectionism can become unhelpful.
On Monday 12th December at 8pm (AEDT), we'll be chatting about perfectionism, how it can affect our lives, and how to manage it if it gets in the way of what we really want!
Join us then or share your thoughts now by clicking "reply"! 
@cupcakes_032 want some help with icing cupcakes? dip a knife into hot water. Make the icing the drier than it should be too
@May_ I think one of the main reasons why I procrastinated with writing my 4unit english major work was because when I'm not in the "flow" I just find myself editing the same paragraph over, and over, and over, and it eventually got too frustrating. A lot of the time I needed the pressure/panic of a looming deadline to shut up my internal editor so I could focus on getting stuff out there, instead of editing.
On the topic of "it's the journey, not the destination"- I think there's been instances where I've been happier when my art projects were only half-way done (e.g. sketches done, but not shaded) because I thought the work-in-progress looked better than the final product...
Hey guys! Sorry I'm late- currently in the midst of fighting off a food coma.
Re: ways in which perfectionism can be bad- I'm going to come at this from a different angle and say that, not only does perfection potentially make you more vulnerable, it can also make it very difficult to appear vulnerable, which makes getting the right help quite difficult when you need it, since your past record of successes can overshadow current setbacks to other people.
E.g. you walk away from an exam feeling absolutely shattered- only for people to tell you that it's not a big deal, because a) they expect you're going to do pretty well anyway or b) "at least you have your other marks".
It's not just in academics either, since I don't think perfectionism is solely restricted to the educational domain. I think we all feel a certain degree of "social perfectionism", where we feel like we have to present ourselves as being constantly on top of everything, all at once, which can also make it really hard to seek help in the first place.
I can really relate to perfectionism having a bad effect on creativity. I used to do a lot of singing and acting, but in the last few years that's fallen to the wayside due to not feeling good enough at either (which is silly because I love doing them!). It's something I really want to work on getting back into in future, but for now it's just singing around the house 😛
@j95that's a really insightful point about ignoring other commitments/relationships to focus on getting one thing to a perfect standard. Aiming for that one thing to be perfect can be a good goal, but it's important to maintain a balance between all of the aspects of your life (including taking breaks and self care)
haha @cupcakes_032- I think I've mentioned it before, but I actually quit drawing a few years ago because of perfectionism a few years ago. It took waaaaayyyy too goddamned long to properly finish a sketch (24+ hours), and even then I was barely ever happy with the final results. I figured it wasn't worth the frustration.
I include baking and netball in that (sometimes feeding the goal circle is like a craft) and I wish I could include other things like running and deadlifting. I almost avoid things that I'm not "perfect" at with fear of criticism for making a mistake or not being good enough at these things. I have family and others who yell and scare me when things go wrong so now I have an intense fear of making mistakes; being a failure; not being good enough so now I avoid things. I don't want to be judged for not meeting others expectations - but this is all entirely something that I shouldn't have to worry about
How does perfectionism affect creative activities that you might do (e.g. writing, drawing, dance)?
From my experience, I picture drawings and other art in my head. I try to create them and before I even get half way through I'm angry and frustrated with the whole experience because it's not what I saw in my head, instead of just accepting that I tried my best and it can't always look like the picture in my head. If it's art related like drawing, I can sometimes just give up on it. I have so many of those adult colouring books that I've started and got mad because I made a mistake and never opened again.
Next question....
6. What strategies do you use to cope with the not so great side of perfectionism?
Harness the power of panic to shut up your inner critic!
...what? I never said it was a good strategy.
(Seriously, I need help. Somebody please get me some alternatives.)
P.S. I found an example of a sketch where I was happier with the WIP than the final product. *sigh*
WHY ARE EYES SO HARD TO GET RIGHT?!?!
*sigh*
This is a really tough question because i think its easy to get bogged down with it sometimes. There are a couple of different strategies I use, when im procrastinating a lot and it becomes sort of paralysing to doing an activity or write something my motto is "just start" like just start, just writing something or just get up or just try. It doesn't always work but it does sometimes, especially if i have a deadline or something.
Also what I think what i was alluding to before, that done is enough and also being okay with doing my best in that moment. In terms of art and creativity, relationships.. its kind of an ongoing battle with myself that really has forced me to grow. Trying to be okay with my best, that my best is enough and perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Not really sure what else to say, i dont have the answers!
With exercise I sometimes put my runners etc on and tell myself I'm not actually going to go (because I don't want to) but then once I have all my stuff on I always end up going anyway.
What strategies do you use to cope with the not so great side of perfectionism?
For me it's really all about monitoring the self talk, making sure to pick up on when I'm being unreasonably hard on myself. Just reminding myself of some of the things we've been talking about tonight like it being mostly unattainable and subjective really helps 🙂
1. Go for a run, remember that running is enjoyable for me and not someone else
2. Stay off social media = can't see people posting about all the "perfect" things and the "likes" they get for said post
3. Bake because it usually tastes good even if it doesn't always look the best
4. Hug big ted or someone because hugs make everything okay
I want to add the whole process of baking is just fun - especially when it's decorating. The same with running (excluding fun runs); during the run is the best when negative thoughts shift to positives
