[CHAT] Discussing mental health with your family
For those of us who have watched Lilo & Stitch, we all remember that iconic quote, right? The one about family?
For better or worse, we're all born with a family of some sort. Everyone has a different relationship to their family--sometimes the way we feel about our family is like something straight out of a Hallmark card, all brilliant sparkles and blinding love. Sometimes it's a bit more complicated, and in other times our family might actually be the people who hurt us the most. Of course, for a lot of us here we still live with our families and depend on them for money, uni, and a place to live.
And all that stuff on top of whatever mental health things you might have going on, and navigating mental health with family isn't always an easy thing. Especially for those of us from CALD (culturally and linguistically diverse) families where concepts like mental health and therapy aren't very well-known.
Come join us this Monday June 19th, at 8pm AEST for a chat about how your family factors into your mental health and share stories and tips on maintaining your mental health whether your family is more of a help or hindrance.
Hi @wanda0123456, welcome to ReachOut!
Here on RO there are a bunch of different forums where you have make threads for specific topics. Getting Real (GR) sessions are one of the weekly activities we hold here; it's basically a livechat that occurs every Monday at 8pm AEST and each week we all join in to discuss a different topic with some questions that are prepared in advance.
That chat you're on now is one we had on the 19th of June about discussing mental health with the family. You can find a list of all upcoming GR topics and times here!
Mental health affected you more in compare to physical.For mental health improvement you can take family help ,you can discuss(what you think ,your views )everything.
Thanks @DirtWitch its definitely much better 🙂
What can you do if you're not okay with discussing mental health issues with your family? Is it okay to seek help without them knowing?
Well i did this. I think it's important to have people that know your truth so that you can confide in them. I hid everything from my parents and that got pretty difficult at times especially when living in the same house. I definitely wouldnt recommend it, but i had a few really close friends i told everything and a really amazing GP and psychologist that I trusted a lot and knew i could call. I think its a complex question and it really depends. I didnt know about RO/wasn't on here when i was at my worst and I definitely think this community does a lot of people that are in situations that were like mine - i mean i just winged all of it. I mean all of us, me and all my friends just winged it. We had no idea what to do, how to get help. I guess that's why its so important for me to be on RO and make sure other people are getting information,support and guidance cause everyones situations is complex, different and hard in their own way.
I first got help when I was 17 and didn't tell my family about it. Later on I told dad and he was supportive and then supported me financially for my psychology sessions which was good.
I didn't tell mum and I'm glad it was that way. I still don't tell mum. She doesn't even know I had surgery this time.
Aaaand that just about wraps it up for tonight! Thank you everyone who took part in tonight's GR; we had some really great discussions about topics that often aren't easy to talk about.
To summarise:
- Everybody has a family (and related feelings!) that are unique to them
- Even though we love our family members, sometimes it is hard to talk about topics like mental health with them. Sometimes they might care about us but not always know what to do. A lot of the times people don't like talking about mh because they're afraid of the burden it would cause.
- There are still ways you can try to normalise mh issues with your family, things like bringing up symptoms and issues in casual conversations, or making it clear to younger sibs they can always come to you. Model the behaviour you needed as a kid!
- Lastly, if you feel like you can't discuss mh with your family, that's okay too. Do what you need to for your own health. Sometimes our families are part of our recovery and sometime's they're not; in the end what matters is that you're on the road to recovery.
Once again, thanks everyone who participated! Have a great night and I'll see you all around at the next GR!
Thanks @DirtWitch for running the show and to everyone else who helped out! You did an awesome job! Goodnight!
Thanks everyone. Shout out to @DirtWitch youre awsome!! Thanks so much
Thank you so much for a great chat everybody! Really loved this one 🙂
As always feel free to add your 2 cents later 🙂 Always happy to keep talking!
I think lots of people do. It's hard to talk about with family, and in a lot of ways it's easier when you're talking to a professional, or anonymously online (hello :P).
I think it's definitely ok to seek help without telling your family. I did, I have friends that did and I know lots of other people do. There are ways to do it without your family knowing and with minimal expense although it can be harder financially and logistically if younger and confidentiality can get blurry. I wish it was something everyone could talk to their family about but sometimes that's not reality. That being said, whilst not always true, sometimes families actually react better than we expect.
My dad more talks about his physical health with me and how that affects his mh, his acquired brain injury can have symptoms of mh and I just tell him I love him and that he's my hero and that I do what I can to help him.
@redhead I'm glad your dad has you in his life....and vice versa! It sounds you like two have a really loving relationship even though you both have your individual struggles. I think in general people underestimate the effect that physical health can have on mh...I think I learnt in class that half of people with health conditions also have depression? But it's not really something you hear talked about as much
@j95 Wow so are you the oldest?? You and your siblings could literally form your own quidditch team!
I get most of my mh problems from my dad lol. Stuff like anxiety and depression. My dad freely talks about this stuff with me but because we're not very close I often find it really distressing, especially since mh treatment is not really top tier in China, it's really hard finding a good therapist if they even exist where you live.
Weirdly enough my own depression has opened my mom's eyes about her own mental health! Recently she talked to me about how she thinks she has had depressive episodes but just never recognised them...it was really great, I listened and encouraged her to speak to a doctor and she's agreed 🙂
edit: goodnight @letitgo! Glad you were with us ❤️
Yeah my family does I guess, but i think im the one thats always checking in on everyone. Especially my brother, he gets stressed which isnt really mental illness related but it is wellbeing related so im just always checking in. And i do find that my mum talks to me openly when shes getting anxious thoughts or anything, so that's something i think! Definitely a positive thats come out of my experience.
@Stealth_ninja I'm really glad that you've been able to get your family to open up more! It looks like you're taking a lot of steps to build an more open and communicative dynamic within your family; I hope that you also take a lot of time to care for your own feelings too!
