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[CHAT] Socially Awkward

Most of us feel socially awkward every now and then. I can find myself in situations that trigger all sorts of nervous reactions within me. You know the drill - cheeks go red, palms go sweaty and I can’t peel my eyes away from the exit sign.

 

it

 

 

There are some situations that are garunteed to make those anxious feelings creep i... Like a blind date, or a house party with hundreds of strangers. Feeling intimidated by certain social scenarios is totally normal, and there are a number of causes, like not knowing anyone, feeling judged, having a negative opinion of yourself, overthinking, etc etc etc

 

sf

 

These things can all be tricky to deal with and can make it pretty tempting to get  sucked into your couch and never leave the house again! Lucky for you there are some simple tips that you can put into action and we're going to talk about them this coming monday at 8pm AEST.

 

jlaw

 

So head back here  on the 27th and join the hordes of the socially awkward, and learn when it might be time to reach out for some help. Join us!

bessie94
bessie94Posted 23-07-2015 06:28 PM

Comments (6 pages)

 
 
 
benjamin_
benjamin_Posted 27-07-2015 09:35 PM

@stonepixie I think that breaking everything down into smaller parts is a great idea! I can see how it could make things feel more manageable that way. 

 
 
 
stonepixie
stonepixiePosted 27-07-2015 09:34 PM
But I agree with everyone, sometimes you just need someone to go as a support person.
 
 
Sophie-RO
Sophie-ROPosted 27-07-2015 09:29 PM

benjamin_ wrote:

 8. Becoming more comfortable in social situations that make us highly anxious can take time, so sometimes it can be best to start small rather than trying to face our biggest fears right away! What are some simple ways to start practicing social skills on a daily basis?


I think being kind to ourselves in really important.. like you said, realising you can overcome this stuff overnight but rewarding yourself for trying or for small wins.... Support yourself like you would your best friend or someone else here on RO

 
 
Troy
TroyPosted 27-07-2015 09:25 PM

What are some skills that you think are important in social situations, and how can they be developed?

 

Biggest skill i beleive is to just be present. I think this is a skill because naturally, we think and over think, and if we feel uncomfortable think a bit more! so training yourself not to think and to simply just be and be comfortable and let conversation flow out of you

 
 
 
Troy
TroyPosted 27-07-2015 09:28 PM

 Becoming more comfortable in social situations that make us highly anxious can take time, so sometimes it can be best to start small rather than trying to face our biggest fears right away! What are some simple ways to start practicing social skills on a daily basis?

 

I think a simple way to start focusing on social skills is to get a job in customer service. Talking to people all day with a 'role' is so easy to do. and often at teh end of the day you can leave the secure 'work role' context but still feel quite sociable etc!

 

Also i find you sortof need to warm up your social skills. In retail it takes me a few ppl to ask them how there weekends been or if they have had a busy day and after a few conversations im flowing. If i stop talking to people for 10 minutes i feel like i have to warm up again often, so just get rolling sometimes maybe? 😛

 
 
 
 
benjamin_
benjamin_Posted 27-07-2015 09:30 PM

Agreed @Troy

 

Work is a place great place to develop social skills, particularly anything that involves customer service. 

 
 
 
 
 
Sophie-RO
Sophie-ROPosted 27-07-2015 09:31 PM
Yep practice at work, or even online too...
 
 
 
benjamin_
benjamin_Posted 27-07-2015 09:28 PM

Good point @Troy

 

Being present is important, and I think mindfulness can really help here. It's definitely a skill to become more in tune with your surroundings and the present as we can live entirely in our own heads sometimes.

 

 

 
j95
j95Posted 27-07-2015 09:16 PM
What are some skills that you think are important in social situations, and how can they be developed?

Assertiveness is important and being able to stand up for yourself and others. Instead of letting yourself be walked all over, being able to speak up!
 
redhead
redheadPosted 27-07-2015 09:16 PM
What are some skills that you think are important in social situations, and how can they be developed?

I think it's just as important to listen as it is to speak confidently, sometimes we get so anxious we forget to pay attention to the conversation
 
benjamin_
benjamin_Posted 27-07-2015 09:11 PM

Time for the next question guys.

 

  1. What are some skills that you think are important in social situations, and how can they be developed?

One thing I can think of is assertiveness and communication skills. You can develop them through social skills classes, work on them with a psychologist or a counsellor, or just read stuff online and practice yourself! There's some handy Tips for communicating here on RO. 

 
 
Sophie-RO
Sophie-ROPosted 27-07-2015 09:18 PM
that factsheet is good, I also like this one
http://au.reachout.com/listening-skills-worth-having

sometimes when we are nervous we are not listening properly because we are so worried about what we should say next... but if you listen well, questions to ask or the next thing to say will come naturally...
 
 
 
Sophie-RO
Sophie-ROPosted 27-07-2015 09:21 PM

Yes, I agree, whats that saying....

 

idiots

 
 
 
 
Troy
TroyPosted 27-07-2015 09:24 PM

LOL best meme @Sophie-RO

 
 
 
stonepixie
stonepixiePosted 27-07-2015 09:19 PM
Definitely listen to hear instead of only listening to respond.
 
 
stonepixie
stonepixiePosted 27-07-2015 09:15 PM
What are some skills that you think are important in social situations, and how can they be developed?
 
Assertiveness is definitely a big one, @benjamin_
Not surrounding yourself with douche bags is another, but unfortunately not always possible.
One that has helped me a lot is definitely CBT!
 
 
 
benjamin_
benjamin_Posted 27-07-2015 09:17 PM

Lol can't disagree with that @stonepixie! Unfortunately douche bags are always going to be out there, but we do what we can!

 

CBT is super effective for anxiety and has def helped me heaps too. 

 
j95
j95Posted 27-07-2015 09:03 PM
I hate when you do a presentation and you can hear people whispering "look how much he is shaking" or when I don't want to get up "just do it and get it done" HA yeah ok cause that's easy.
 
 
benjamin_
benjamin_Posted 27-07-2015 09:05 PM

@j95 I know what you mean. I did a debate about a year ago and I found myself shaking in it! I had no idea I could get so anxious over something like that but we're totally not alone in it, heaaaps of people feel this way about public speaking!

 
j95
j95Posted 27-07-2015 09:00 PM
As in not people I hate or that we had each other, we just have different opinions that sort of thing.
 
j95
j95Posted 27-07-2015 08:59 PM
Do you find that you’re more anxious with any specific groups of people? If so, why do you think this is the case?

I'm not sure why but I can be super confident and making people laugh with some people but be shying away with other people, usually people I am very different to or have said things to me in the past that I strongly disagree with - it makes me super anxious to talk in case they just laugh and think I'm an idiot.
 
redhead
redheadPosted 27-07-2015 08:59 PM
Do you find that you’re more anxious with any specific groups of people? If so, why do you think this is the case?

Tbh it depends on my mood, when I'm manic people don't bother me as much, but when I'm depressed I avoid social situation
 
 
Sophie-RO
Sophie-ROPosted 27-07-2015 09:04 PM
Actually that's true for me too @redhead, but on a much different level to bipolar! But definitely depends on my mood how awkward or anxious I feel....
 
j95
j95Posted 27-07-2015 08:56 PM
Yep @Troy I agree but when they talk about stuff I don't know about I feel excluded and then get anxious about being alone then my mind runs about how they probably hate me and all that stuff. I think a lot 😕
 
j95
j95Posted 27-07-2015 08:54 PM
I avoid social situations where I might only know one person cause talking to new people is hard and difficult to initiate without being weird. I worry that the person I know will think I'm annoying and there will be times where I'm standing on my own like a loser haha cause I don't want to be annoying by following them around all the time.
Actually that sort of happens with groups of people too, certain groups of people I feel unwelcome around and I worry that all that stuff I mentioned about will happen.

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