[CHAT] Valentine's, Schmalentine's
With Valentine's Day coming up and the stores being filled with flowers and chocolates to sell, it's time to get a little romantic. Valentine's Day makes itself very apparent when it near arguably rivals Christmas even though it's celebrated by a lot less people.
"What if I don't have a special someone to celebrate it with?", some of you are surely thinking. Ever felt the pressure heighten particularly on this day or see it as a stark reminder of what you're missing? Well you've found the perfect discussion!
So how do you feel about Valentines Day and the pressure from Cupid? Just a meaningless holiday or a nice reminder to appreciate the people we love in our life? Share your thoughts by joining us here on Valentine's Day Eve at 8pm AEDT on Monday, February 13th to discuss what is truly important on Valentine's Day!
Heya Everyone!
Tonight, we are talking about that one day in February where we celebrate all things love. Some people call it Valentine’s Day, I call it Tuesday.
But don’t be put off by that, we are very accepting here and will be talking all things pro- and anti- valentine’s day.
If at all you find this conversation difficult, distressing or you feel like you need to talk to someone, please don’t hesitate to call lifeline (13 11 12) or Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800).
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So without further ado, here is our first question:
How do you feel about Valentines day?
Hey @Stealth_ninja and @stonepixie!
How do you feel about Valentine's Day?
As someone who's never been in a relationship, I've never had cause to be overly excited by Valentine's Day or to look forward to it. However, I can understand the appeal for those who are in a happy relationship and enjoy the opportunity to lavish their loved one/ones with affection. That being said, I think it's important to show the people we love that we love them everyday, not just on this one holiday. In addition, the emphasis on romantic love could be difficult for some people to deal with, for various reasons, and I don't like that.
How do you feel about Valentines day?
I don't feel anything about it. I really don't give any focus to it at all, I mean at school it was really annoying (and kind of made me sad, because I never got anything) but now that I'm out of school, it's really chill. I wouldn't even notice it really, just as a oh yeah, it's that.
HI everyonee!!! 🙂
How do you feel about Valentines day?
I think it's pretty fun like I get the whole thing about you should always love your partner every day but its kinda nice how theres a day set aside of it?? Also theres always heaps of sales and special promotions on valentines lmao
I've never really been a fan, its too much pressure. Lots of PDA
Yeah it always comes across as a really stressful holiday @Stealth_ninja. But same @roseisnotaplant and @letitgo, it's not really a holiday I've ever had reason to celebrate.
Yes exactly @Jia! 🙂
Hellooooo @DruidChild @N1ghtW1ng @letitgo @roseisnotaplant @Jia @j95 @stonepixie and @Stealth_ninja!
So lovely to see you alllll 🙂
I should probably answer my own question. Hahhaha
To me, I find that it is too commercialised and a way for retail to make a profit on something that should resemble 'love', but it should be celebrated every day of the year, not just tomorrow, which is a common theme among all our responses so far.
Yes, it can be cute and sweet but why not be cute and sweet every other day.
But also, it can be a constant reminder on the lead up to the day of what people don't have, which in itself can create problems.
Also I have a friend who works at a call centre for a flower business and she told me that today a guy spent 1k on buying blue roses for his partner which sounds insane to me and could probably have been used on something better
1k (that's a thousand, right?) on flowers??? I mean, that is part of the reason I don't like this day, because it's just a "who can do better" show off day. Honestly, if I were to ever have a partner, I would insist we don't celebrate valentines day (or if my partner wants to, do it later) so that there are actually places free 😛
@DruidChild It should be important everyday, not just once a year - that's basically my attitude towards these days 😛
@N1ghtW1ng yeah I totally get what you're saying and it does seem like so many couples just do it to show off how much they 'love' their partner by buying them the most expensive gift they can but I also think not everyone is like that like I know couples who make diy things and don't spend any money at all? I don't know how to explain it but I think it's just a bit of fun for some couples? But I get what you're saying in that sometimes it seems very phony
Pro's
- Cheap Chocolate ...
Con's -
- Reminder of what people don't have
- Over-the-top romantic gestures
- WAY too much PDA!
- Can make you feel lonely and other negative emotions
There seems to be two sentiments here, that v-day is a bit of a hallmark holiday that is just an excuse to spend heaps of money but also that it can be really nice to appreciate the people we love and care about. It's a pretty conficting concept i guess it kind of summarises the positve and negatives. Its nice to get spoilt sometimes but maybe it would be just as valuable if not more valuable if it was done randomly on another day when you're not expecting it? Also i dont like how it makes some of my friends feel, like if they dont have someone they're missing out.
The positives being how it is a way for couples to spend a day especially for each other.
The negatives being the stress that it can put on couples, the "expectations" and whether or not they hit them.
@Stealth_ninja I find the heavy (darn what's the word?) emphasis on romance and the need to have a relationship (honestly, in school I always felt so alone when I never got anything. Because everyone treated it so highly, and to get nothing was rather upsetting to a kid)
I know what you mean @N1ghtW1ng, I went to a girls school so we would give flowers to each other like friendship ones which was nice but its the same thing again - do you need to send someone a flower to prove your friendship? even being in a relationship i find myself feeling bad if i see someone at work get a big bunch of flowers or something. But that isnt a representation of my relationship!
Positive and negative aspects
I can really relate to what you said about feeling bad when you see someone else get flowers @Stealth_ninja, although not personally. My mum gets sucked into the idea of getting flowers etc on Valentine's Day, whereas that's not my dad's kind of thing. He shows he loves her in other ways, like taking her on holidays when he can, or doing the dishes/cleaning/cooking so she doesn't have to. PDA's aren't for everyone, and I think the narrative around Valentine's Day has to change to reflect that...
yeah thats exactly right @letitgo like even when you're in a relationship it doesnt change cause you're like "im in a relationship now i should be able to enjoy this" but that can put unfair expectations on your partner when they might show their love differently
@N1ghtW1ng @Stealth_ninja Yeah those kind of school programs can really feel excluding if you're not participating in them but I guess they have good intentions in that it's something that you can be silly about with your friends if you're not in a relationship
@N1ghtW1ng That would make a good life motto actually 🙂
And yes omg it's always about 'who can do it better.' I feel like there's a lot of gender roles associated with the day, too, like women are supposed to be all judgmental about how much of an effort their (assumed to be) male partner makes for the day. I once read a fanfic solely centred around 'she's angry at him because he forgot Valentine's Day.' It was just kinda boring.
@Jia New plan for Valentine's Day: feed small bees with honey from an eye dropper. I LOVE BEES. Now it's a holiday I could get behind 🙂
