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Re: right now I am....

Thanks @celestialdreamer! I think I'm getting the hang of the online learning a bit more now so it's been pretty good. I hope your uni work is going well also! 

And welcome!! I am also a new builder and still learning all the different parts of the forums Smiley Happy it's been really fun so far and everyone is really supportive! 

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Right now, I'm excited to play some games! Smiley Happy

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Right now I'm feeling dissociated but that's ok. Just learning to live with it. Besides that, I feel quite content with browsing the internet and listening to music Smiley Happy

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@wanderingwasp hope you're feeling a bit better today Smiley Happy sometimes my favourite thing to do is listen to music and just zone out too.

 

Right now I'm eating lunch (an omelette with capsicum, mushrooms and onions) and thinking about how the rest of the uni semester is going to go with a new job I just got whilst also staying on top of uni and having time for myself/friends/family.

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Re: right now I am....

Right now I am sad and hurt. My boyfriend of 6 months and my first real love broke up with me last night. Because we weren't communicating enough and we don't have enough in common and in addition the distance because of COVID19 lead to his romantic feelings for me fading. He was such a big part of my support system through of all this and he made me smile even when nothing else did, I haven't been happy for like months - depression has been hitting me hard. I just miss him so much and my heart is so broken. I'm trying to remind myself I'm strong and I can get through this.

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Re: right now I am....

Hey this reminds me of my first love. I was in senior high school and dated this guy for about the same time. We were even talking about moving in after graduating and moving overseas but I left for holiday and when I came back our feelings had faded. So i get how you feel and it took mea . few months to get over him so you can definitely do this! I'm here for you

 

Right now I am feeling... tired. Grocery shopping is exhaustinggg and the day has passed so quickly. I would like to write more on my script, so excited for that

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I'm sorry to hear about everyone's past love stories that ended up badly. πŸ™ I've had crushes on people, and never dated anyone. I would love to go out with someone and there are a few girlies I would love to do that with. Te-He! πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ

 

Right now I'm... I just don't know how to express my feelings.πŸ˜• I guess I'm thrilled and excited and every other happy emotion because...

 

I just had my year 12 formal last night and it was fun!πŸ˜„ It will definitely be something to remember forever. Because of my dislocated knee, I wasn't allowed to dance. πŸ˜” *sad sigh* And omg all the girls were dressed up so well and princessy like and I was just... My lesbian vibes went through the roof! And omg a guy named Bronson, we all know he's gay, was dressed in a dress, heels, and even makeup and I was just so proud! LGBTQ+ is legend! 
Paige, (who looked absolutely stunning and gorgeous in her long black dress) is one of Lily's friends (who's also my friend) were talking a lot during Formal, especially about things like a certain girl I have been crushing on for years who I will spell her name wrong just for the sake of it: Aimee. 😍 She's been there for me even if she doesn't quite show it. She's quite a darling. A sweet, shy, (pretty) darling, to be honest. πŸ˜—
But I did ask Aimee out two years ago and got rejected. That's okay. But I do have an urge to kiss her. πŸ˜— She was wearing a suit and it just made the urge increase. ;-; I want to kiss her but she hasn't had her first kiss yet and I don't want to steal away her chance of having a really romantic first kiss like beside a bonfire during the night underneath the stars, on a beach, a picnic in the park etc. And even if I did kiss her, it could have ended badly. Could have.
Yeah, so Paige and I talked about a few things like who her crush is, how I shouldn't kiss my best friend unless she allows me to, (Lol!), that she likes both genders (and thank goodness for that!) But unfortunately, she has a crush on a guy. She literally told me that whenever she speaks to him or sees him her heart would flutter in her chest. Oh, how I wish when I speak to her she feels the same feelings I do with her. 
And after formal, me and my friend's group including Paige went to Lily's house for an after-party. There was alcohol included to but I didn't drink any. 🍾🍷πŸ₯‚ All my friends and Paige, who I count as a friend, decided to drink alcohol.

My god! When Paige started drinking and becoming a little drunk she was so adorable! πŸ₯° I know I'm weird to say it but she was! She was singing, being all cute and omg I just... died inside. When Lily and I tried to take her bottle of Alcohol away from her she was being all cute and whiney and saying that it's her bottle but in a very soft voice. It just made me melt! Me, being the lesbian I am, decided to flirt with her. πŸ˜‚ I complimented every part of her like her eyes, her smile, just her in general. When she nearly finished her bottle I got her to sit back on the couch so she doesn't get up and start skipping around the place (which I wouldn't mind at all.) It got to a point where I was just lying back on the couch with her and still flirting with her. 

 

I was playing with Paige's hair, twirling it in my fingers, pushing it back behind her ears. My god. She's so pretty! I don't remember what I asked her but it had something to do with kissing. So, I asked if she's ever been kissed by a girl. She shook her head, giggled (which I adored), and says she hasn't so I asked her if she'd like to try. She asked me what girl she will kiss and I answered her by saying 'me'. 😌
So, I kissed her. πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘©

The closer I got to her face the more my heart started beating quickly and when our lips met everything around me was forgotten. It was just my lips on hers. I know this sounds a little...eh...cheesy but it was just so perfect! 😍
My best friends girlfriend (let's call him Dan and his girlfriend is Chloe) was watching me and Paige with a smile, I had to smile back (after the kiss) because we were being watched. When Chloe looked away, I kissed Paige again.
Oh, how I would kiss her if I see her again. She's just so pretty that it hurts. ☺ Every girl is so damn pretty that it hurts. I wannnnaaa kisssss herrrrr againnnnnnnn!!!!!

About an hour later she left. πŸ™ And I told Lily about the whole kissing thingo. She seemed surprised, which wasn't a surprise at all. πŸ˜†
It turns out my other guy friend (Kane) actually saw me and Paige kiss. He-He. Yeah, so we caught an Uber to Dan's house to sleepover at.
In the morning, Lily got a text from Paige saying she remembers some stuff that happened like kissing me. πŸ˜— Paige said that the kissing was fun, but unfortunately, she only thought of the kiss as not important to her. *sigh*

 

I'm literally just... I don't know. I cannot get her and the kiss out of my head. I've been day-dreaming about her and me kissing again, going on dates and just... Ngsishaidjis. I told my parents the next day when I got home, who I know, support the Lgbtq+, and they are okay with it. πŸ˜… 

I just don't know what I am going to say to her when I go back to school on Tuesday (Seniors have every Monday off.) Do I like... apologize? I mean, it was just a kiss even if she didn't want it to mean anything but secretly I did want it to mean something. And she did want to kiss me back so... I don't know. What do I say? Does anyone have any ideas or advice for me? It would be great thanks. 😊

Sincerely,

A lesbian who's been thinking of girls instead of studying. πŸ˜‚

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Re: right now I am....

Omg this is super sweet @Animallover2003 I can TOTALLY understand why you'd be feeling all these emotions after such a fun and special night Heart Also Bronson sounds like such a legend Smiley Very Happy I just love the thought of him in heels and make-up, so much pride!!

 

Anyways, it sounds like this isn't really a situation where you need to make an apology, but perhaps you can say hi, say you had a fun night with her and ask how she felt about it? 

 

 

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@A_Friend  so sorry to hear that news, it's so painful when relationships end, especially when it's your first love. Do you have people in your life who can help to support you through this? Heartbreak absolutely sucks, how are you doing today? You're right - you are strong, and you will get through this - but it's also totally ok to cry/ eat chocolate/ watch trashy movies or do whatever you need to do to help process your loss. 

 

Right now I am... enjoying listening to the kookaburras and magpies sing outside my window Smiley Happy 

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Thanks for checking in on me and I don't know how I feel sad but numb at the same time. My family doesn't know I was in a relationship so as much they are supportive, they are not much comfort right now but I have couple friends online that have been a great support and comfort plus by dogs.