I've had enough
I have had enough. This is probably the last topic I want to do. I've had enough of people telling me what to do and how I should live my life. If I care about people, then why should I be told not to? I don't feel "triggered" or "upset" anymore. I have been at work today and I have gone back into my regular illness that puts me in hospital almost every time- blood tests, MRI's, CT scans and even blood transfusions. I don't know what's wrong with me exactly because I am not a doctor. I just want to stay home and sleep, instead of waking up to find a tube sticking out of my arm.
I have had enough of the bullying. I want it to end now. School is tomorrow and I am going to have more rape and death threats from other kids in year 7, 8 and 9. I am only 12. Why am I even noticed by these kids? I should be invisible, like it was at the start of the year- when no one cared about me. But now that my appearance has been a little altered by wearing make-up and dying my hair, kids notice me and pick on me. I have arguments with my mum everyday about it.
We bought 2 little baby chickens 2 days ago. The smallest died overnight. I cried. The next day we replace it with another one. I loved it with all my heart- it treated me like I was it's mother by snuggling against my chest and sleeping for hours. The next day (today) I found it half dead- dying. Later today it died in my arms. I cried. I went to work and had to pretend I was happy when I wasn't at all. Now we have another one. 2 chicks now. I don't want to go through this again. I feel like it's my fault they're dead. The first died of hypothermia. The second one died the day after my dog pulled their cage down and the chick (Sandy) was stuck underneath. We buried them both today.
I just want to talk to someone like @Bree-RO. But I am just going to put it out there, I am NOT contacting another helpline or website. So please don't ask me. I just want some comfort.
Thanks for helping me with other things @letitgo, @Anna-RO, @j95, @MemphisBelle, @scared01, @lokifish, @Bree-RO and all the others who have comforted and given advice to me.
OK @mlang166, so it sounds like this is a very hard conversation to have with mum?
That's fair enough. If one day you think you might need/want it, you can get 10 free sessions per year through medicare, so money wouldn't be an immediate issue. 🙂 The GP and psychologist would do their best to keep everything confidential. (It is a legal requirement for them to report things like you telling them you have intentions of attempting suicide or hurting someone else).
Also just wanted to point out that rape and death threats are quite serious and should be taken seriously by law enforcement if you choose to take that route.
i want the sessions but i don't know how my parents would react or what they would say. i am going to bed pretty soon. i am going to try build up my courage to tell them because i have been having nightmares...
Wow. Good on you for deciding to try and tell them @mlang166! 🙂 That is very brave. I'm thinking of you! Would you like to plan what you want to say?
Hey @mlang166,
I'll just drop a link here for you which might be helpful. It's essentially different ways you can contact mental health services and could be worth a read if you feel like it! It does include ways if you're not able to afford it and if you feel like you need someone to talk to in person.
Hi @mlang166
oh ok now im getting it. Thats fair enough but also being a volunteer you are allowed to stop esp if its for your own wellbeing.
Those girls are really terrible! Im sorry they done that to you. They are probably jealous yes but it shouldnt be dismissed. I think you should talk to your mum and tell her how its really affecting you.
Tell her your scared to go to school because of all this. Oh sorry just seen the part where your going to speak to your mum. I think thats a really good idea, I think its important for her to know as she can better help you.
Have they done anything about the threats? That can pretty much be taken to the police.
I know exaclty what those girls are talking about and they are spreading rumours. And thats not on either
im wondering if its possible for you to move school at all?
Im sorry what was it that Bree-RO said for you to do? Im on my phone so if I go back a page ill loose my entire post.
@mlang166 I can hear your embarrassment surrounding 'it' but know that its ok to talk about it here, a lot of members here have and do talk about 'it'.
PMT is bad isnt it, mine lasts over a week though it doesnt put me in hospital. Im sorry it happens to you, im wondering if they can offer somethine better for you. Have you spoken to your gp about it as they can prescibe some strong painrelief. If you have a male you can always speak to a female gp or a womens health nurse.
Also you dont have to tell people you use this site. I dont. Know one knows im here except well the members here but other than that no one knows, I dont even meantion it because this here is my safe place.
kidshelpline is really good and id reccomend you talking to them as well. they have a webiste too with heaps of information
