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A concern of mine

okay so, hi.

I've never really done this before, both online or professionally. In fact, no one really knows, so this feels a little weird lol.

But I've been having this problem for a while now (as long as I can remember in fact), and I know it's not normal, so I figured I should probably tell someone.

So, my biggest concern is that sometimes I hear (and this is gonna sound crazy ik) these voices. Kind of like I'm at a party and there's a lot of people talking, but I can't understand what they're saying. Like, I hear happy chatter, and the clinking of glasses or cutlery, and laughter, but I don't understand the words they're saying. I've had it since forever, and honestly, as weird as it is, I got used to it, and never really told anyone, or did anything about it.

Honestly, they don't scare me that much, what scares me is that, when it happens (which is...I want to say weekly? Or maybe a little more idk) I get this sort of feeling, which is so hard to explain but I'll try my best: it's like I am moving at a different pace to the rest of the world; like sometimes, it'll feel like I am moving/talking slower than those around me, or faster. That's what really freaks me out.

Also, I sometimes get this feeling (which is usually separate from that) where...also hard to explain, I feel like the world isn't real? Like it's a dream? I mean, my vision doesn't change, and I can still hold a conversation, but it feels like a dream - even though I know it isn't. This is really weird and terrifying when it happens, because I can't shake the feeling, and when I think about the fact that what's happening is real, it kind of gets worse, until eventually it goes away on its own, but I can't make it go away.

The thing is, I can't think of anything that really 'triggers' any of it. It's just kind of random, or sometimes it can be like, a sudden change of light (that's mainly for the dream-like feeling). But it's not stress, or trauma or anything I don't think, so I really don't know.

Anyway yeah, I've been feeling like I wanted to get that out for a while now, thanks for reading.

:-)

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Re: A concern of mine

Hey @lavendertea thanks for sharing what's going on for you, you're absolutely right that it can feel weird to talk about stuff for the first time - I promise it gets easier! And good on you taking this step.

You said that some of what your experiencing freaks you out and terrifies you, I'm sorry things are really scary at the moment, you don't have to go through this alone Heart

This is a link to a story of a young person who experiences voice hearing which you might want to have a look at. Your experiences might be completely different and it might not resonate with you at all, but it has some links at the bottom that could be helpful. 

Its a big step that you've taken by posting here, I'm wondering if you have thought about talking to anyone in your life about what your going through? Some people find that speaking to a trusted friend or family member really helpful and makes them feel less isolated, is this something that you're considering?

 

 

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Re: A concern of mine

Hey sorry for the late response just found this thread. Hannah offered a great link.

 

I just wanted to add that I think I relate to your feelings of unrealness/dream-like state as well as you operating at a different pace to others. i have experiences with both and it took me a while to even realise that these are valid experiences and quite common!!

 

In my own experiences (it's taken me a whole year to even realise the causes, symptoms etc.) but the feelings that you may be in a dream could potentially be dissociation. There are a variety of reasons people dissociate and thats why seeing a professional like a psychologist can be extremely helpful in identifying why you dissociate and it may be linked to previous trauma, stress or anxiety etc. (or not)

 

For me, i have repeated low level traumas in life (at various points in my life) and in general, i am pretty anxious and don't do well with stress. i began to derealise (which is a type of dissociation) where i feel disconnected from my body and its like theres this fog separating me and the rest of everyone and i am in this dream-like state. this is a valid experience and it's quite common. in fact some argue that a form of dissociation is the third most common disorder after anxiety and depression

 

I noticed that when you talk about your experiences, that ur worried that they may seem odd. i want you to know that any experience u feel is validated (coming from someone who once thought she was crazy, i can now appreciate everyone has different reactions to things). u are not alone

 

also not sure if this will help u but when i had feelings of operating at a different pace to everyone, i would actually feel dizzy. i found that drinking lots of water helped me a lot and getting enough sleep. because when i didnt have at least that i would be more prone to these things. let me know what u think and if u wanna talk more!!

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Re: A concern of mine

@lavendertea I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this and feeling quite scared, but know that you aren't alone and we are here to support you! It takes so much courage to share something so personal and the first time can be so scary so I'm so proud that you took this step and felt comfortable to share on here. Do you feel as though there is someone close who you trust and could talk to about this, or even a counsellor or psychologist? I always find talking to someone really helps me, sometimes I realise or understand things better by talking aloud or also writing things down. Do you think maybe journalling is something that could help you identify your triggers for these experiences? You mentioned that you think you have them weekly, maybe writing down what you are doing before/during/after or where you are could help you identify any patterns if there are any? I hope you are okay Smiley Happy

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Re: A concern of mine

Hey @lavendertea 

I'm sorry you feel that way. Please know that you don't have to go through this alone! I liked the link @Hannah-RO  provided, and I also think it's often very calming and reassuring to realise you're not the only one going through something. Hopefully something resonates with you!

 

I just wanted to pop on and say I'm really proud of you for posting your experience on these forums. It's such an important first step. Getting the conversation going can do a lot for you. So great job! I hope you are ok and have had a good week! Heart

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Re: A concern of mine

Hi @lavendertea 

 

I just wanted to congratulate you on seeking help! It can be an incredibly difficult task sometimes, so well done! I also really wanted to emphasise that what you're experiencing does in no way make you sound crazy, your experiences are actually rather common and completely legitimate.

 

As @wanderingwasp mentioned, it sounds as though you are experiencing some type of dissociation. However, it is best to verify this with a psychologist as they will be able to provide you with the correct information and assistance on why/how you may be dissociating. Additionally, talking to a professional enables you to understand and further validate your experiences which I've personally found to be a big stress reliever! 

 

I hope this helps you to identify what may be going on with you! Usually identifying the problem is the first step to achieving a better state of wellbeing. Feel free to keep us updated on any other experiences/feelings you may be worried about Heart