Anxiety related irritability- pushing people away
Hi All,
I'm new here and was hoping that I might be able to find some people who are experiencing something similar to myself.
I've been working on my anxiety for a bit over a year now. I had a rough time for a while, but connected with a therapist and started feeling like I was making real progress. Now with everything that has been going on in ths crazy year, I feel like that progress has gone kind of down the toilet and I'm feeling as though I've taken steps backwards.
One major thing that I've noticed lately is that when my anxiety flares up (for instance when we receive news of increasing cases and new COVID restrictions), I start to get irritable and angry. A lot of the time this comes out as responses to really little things. Someone talking too loud or too much becomes a big problem, my sense of humour disappears and I find myself snapping all the time. This is affecting my relationships with those close to me because they see my reactions as unnecessary and out of proportion, but I don't know how to manage it. I end up withdrawing from them and spending more time alone which in itself is not helpful.
So, if anyone has any suggestions of strategies that have helped them with anxiety related irritability, or even if you're experiencing the same thing at the moment, I'd really love to hear from you.
Thanks in advance, I hope everyone is staying safe and well. x
Comments
Hi @Lucyb1996,
Thank you for being so open with your feelings and the worry that you have been experiencing.
I can definitely relate to your experience of increased anxiety during the time of COVID-19. This year was already going to be a scary one for me (finished my degree last year and was looking for a job and what the "next step" would be) and so everything that this pandemic has brought with it has made it all so much worse.
My anxiety was also leading to a lot of irritability. I found that even just trying to cook a simple meal with my partner (we typically work well together in the kitchen) would make me feel anxious, over-stimulated, I would lose my concentration and as a result would lash out at my partner over something as silly as gluggy rice.
I have been finding that bringing everything back to the basic self-care stuff like getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising has really helped improve my anxiety. I have also been giving mindfulness meditation a go and I find it really useful!!
You are not alone in how you are feeling 
This is a crazy world and you are doing amazing 
I'm so glad to hear that your self care strategies have been helpful for you. I've really been trying to stay on top of my own strategies, but will make sure to keep focussing on them!
Here's hoping you soon get back to having fun in the kitchen! x
Hey @Lucyb1996 it's amazing you have gone through all those changes - graduating, working a full time job and moving out of home, going through just one of those big shifts is tricky when there isn't a pandemic on ! So I really take my hat off to you
You said you wanted to stay on top of your self-care strategies, would you mind sharing with us what they are? It's always great when we learn from each other and you seem to be quite in-tune with your feelings and thinking about what's going on for you, would be great to know what's been getting you through all these huge life events.
There have been quite a few cool suggestions from other users like mindfulness, basic self-care, slow breathing, and paying attention to early signs and triggers, and it sounds like you are open to trying these out which is awesome Maybe you could let us know how you go and what you thought of these when you give them a go?
Hey @Lucyb1996 , I have anxiety and totally relate to feeling irritable if I’m anxious! I find that if there’s too much sensory overload (e.g. I’m feeling sore, there’s loud sounds around me, everything’s too bright) and I’m also feeling a bit tired and anxious I can get really irritable and snap at people around me or just feel really weird towards them. I’ve started to be able to recognise the triggers for this though and make sure to take a step back and do some slow breathing and mindfulness.
If you trust the people you are around and believe they are understanding, it may be helpful to explain to them what’s going on for you, and so if you start to feel irritable, maybe let them know you need a little time to take a breather? This has definitely been useful for me.
Of course everyone has different experiences but hopefully learning how to recognise triggers or early signs of sensory overload and irritability, as well as practicing mindfulness when this happens, may help.
Hope this helps and hope you’ll start to feel better 💓
Hi @liv1611 , YES I would definitely describe it as sensory overload, I hadn't thought to use those words. I have tried to discuss this situation with my family (who are usually the people who see the irritability), however I often get told that I'm "taking things too personally" or "being too sensitive". My family are generally pretty supportive, but they seem to struggle to understand that this is something that's a challenge for me. I definitely think time out helps, however that's not always possible. I think I'll follow your suggestion of paying more attention to triggers and early signs.
Thanks for your response!
Hi @Lucyb1996
I don't have personal first-hand experience with anxiety, but I have been there to support lots of my relationships and finding someone that can reassure you as a close friend has always been a helpful thing in my opinion. It's so understandable to feel anxious and worried around these times and you will get through this.
Hope you are well and you get through all this friend.
Hello @Lucyb1996 and welcome to the forums! Thanks for sharing your story with us. I am sorry to hear that you have been experiencing some anxiety lately. It is really awesome to hear that you have been seeing a therapist for support! Have you had a chance to bring this up with your therapist yet? You might find that to be helpful as they might be able to give you some effective strategies to do when you are feeling irritable and angry. Are there any strategies that you use that you find helpful?
I am sorry to hear that you feel as though your anxiety has been impacting on your relationships with others. The times that we are in right now can be quite unpredictable and stressful, so it must be difficult for you when you are feeling anxious. I think it could be helpful to develop some self-care strategies that you can use in those moments when you are feeling irritable and angry. One strategy that you could use is mindfulness. Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment, which is a helpful strategy for many who are trying to cope with everyday life and deal with tough times. We have an article on mindfulness, which you can find here, if you are interested and would like to read more about it. I hope that you find this to be helpful
Hi @Sophia-RO , thanks for your reply, I haven't had a chance to bring this up with my therapist yet, but plan to at my next appointment! I have been trying to stay on top of my self care, particularly at this time, however the irritability seems to come on in those quick, intense moments. I'll have a look at the mindfulness resource that you shared! Thanks again.
