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hate my body

i am struggling with my body i hate it alot and formals coming up i told my mum a couple of dresses i like but shes said that i shouldent get ones that wrap around my body and that will go to citu chic which is a shop for plus sizes i am not comfortant in my body iv e been trying to do something about it but my mental healthy affects my motavation to do it more and i know that everyone comes in different sizes and types but i just dont feel good in my skin and i am thinking of not going to formal because i am scared of what people will thin about me 

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Re: hate my body

Hi @dragon3,

 

The lead up to formal season can be such a stressful time. The social pressures around dressing up and what others will think is a lot to carry. I remember how anxious I was before my formal too. It sounds like the thought of formals approaching and looking at dresses has brought up a lot of feelings about your body and your confidence in your own skin. Has the confidence with your body something that has been on your mind for a while? 

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Re: hate my body

yes it has i would always look at other girls and wish to be like them
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Re: hate my body

I am sorry to hear that this has been on your mind for a while @dragon3. It sounds like your mum has been is quite involved in your life. Have you had a chance to discuss how you feel with her or anyone else? It might be helpful for you to talk about this with someone you feel comfortable talking to as it might be helpful to get these feelings off your chest. Have you tried calling helplines before (such as Kids Helpline) and talking to a counsellor about what's on your mind? Heart

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Re: hate my body

Hey @dragon3 just wanted to let you know that we are going to be having some conversations about body image this month if you wanted to get involved or look through the conversations at some stage. The first of these is here if you wanna have a look Smiley Happy 

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Re: hate my body

thank you
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Re: hate my body

Hey @dragon3 , I just wanted to check-in and see how you're feeling?

Body image is a real struggle and I still to this day have moments of not feeling confident in my skin. I've found for me, that when I'm exercising regularly I tend to feel a bit better as I'm moving my body which in turn helps clear your mind, making those negative though ease a little. 

I empathize with you and hope you know that if you need anything I and many other people on this platform are here for you. <3

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Re: hate my body

Aw @dragon3  - I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with your body image. You aren't alone. This is a very common issue unfortunately - myself included. Similarly to @letsheal - I also feel much better about myself when I'm active. It's weird, like, I don't think the actual activity changes the way my body looks much, but I just feel better.

 

I'd encourage you to go to the formal and wear something you like if you can. It's just that, I don't think that hiding away will help the issue, and generally speaking, avoidance tends to make these types of thoughts worse. It might be worth seeing a psychologist to help you with some of these thoughts while exposing yourself to these types of environments - would you be open to this?

 

What are some things that you could do that will make you feel better about yourself? You mention wanting to exercise but lacking motivation. It might be a good idea to start small - like starting with a 5 minute walk each day, then increasing to 10 minutes a day the next week, and then 15 minutes the next - or whatever amount of time suits you. Exercise is good for the mind and body. You can even chuck on a playlist or podcast to make the walk more enjoyable for you. Or do it with a friend or family member so that it's more of a social activity. 

 

Also letting you know that I have moved your thread into the "tough times" section of the forum as it is better suited to here than the "hangout" section. I hope that's okay with you.

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Re: hate my body

Hey @dragon3,

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way about your body. As it has been mentioned, I also find that moving my body helps me to feel better because it clears my thoughts a lot. However, something that has been particularly useful has been to separate exercise (and eating) from how these things will make my body appear and instead attempt to tune in to how they will make my body feel. For instance, I used to think that going for a walk wasn't "enough" exercise because it wasn't necessarily 'targeting' an area of my body as much as other forms of exercises. This made it really difficult to enjoy exercise because I was often overworking myself which would then sometimes lead to me not exercising for periods that followed as a frustrated response to not seeing physical changes. So working out which gentle exercise makes you feel good is a great place to start but also knowing when your body might be up for something a little more intense is a great way to listen to your body in a way that is tailored to you.

Also, have you head of set point theory? It theorises that our bodies have a natural weight that is healthy to each unique individual and was something that opened my eyes up to the idea that as long as I am eating nutritionally and exercising in a way that feels good, then my body will adjust itself to be at a healthy weight. It might be worth looking up and having a read of in addition to articles on accepting your set point weight even if it isn't your "ideal" weight (which is something I struggle with so reading up on this really helps me take a step back and prioritise health).

I hope this helps and let me know if there is anything you want me to clarify or go into further explanation about Smiley Happy

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Re: hate my body

no i haven't and i did a obstacle course today
they have a area called challenge hill it was 30 obstacles some of them i
couldn't really do because of my fear of heights but tried to get over it
but when going up a hill to the next obstacle i start to feel dizzy with
heavy breath and a feeling of needing to vomit when that happen my mum made
a comment that it showed that i was unfit which made me feel bad about
myself a bit but i did push through to complete

i have seen a nutrients but i have been back to see her for a while now and
ive tried to cut out soft drink and chocolate but its hard and it's a
comfort food for me if i am not having a really good day or if i am upset

have you got any ideas of exercise i could or things that would be more
healthy to eat