Everything triggers me
I hope I don't get told off for making this thread; I did try to do some stuff for at least an hour (baking) and have been watching netball.
I was going well for the for short while, and now my world feels like it's crashing down (although I know I can pick myself back up, I've done it before). I let myself get triggered for being sensitive, over something that's been eating at me since it happened a few weeks ago now. I wish I was not upset about the fact that I am sensitive. And the word sensitive has triggered thoughts of bullying and then something I did in the last week to make sure it doesn't happen again or ever happen to anyone else. But now I'm worried speaking up about it is going to back fire on me and I feel like I'm in the wrong. I'm trying to remind myself that I spoke up for a reason and that I don't know the future and just have to wait and see what happens. I have to remember that whatever happens, it's not the end of the world.
I'm sorry for making this thread, I know I already made one a couple of days ago in hope of support about something different, but it was probably a bad idea. I don't want to be told I'm an attention seeker or worse again. I'm sorry, so I guess I just wanted to express how hard I am trying, because I'm scared of being punished again. It feels like I've been punished my whole life just for being me (and now I'm crying).
I think I'll try to hug big ted, watch more netball, maybe study, and try to call kids helpline before work.
Dear RO friends, I've been told to leave permanently 😞 nothing I say will change anyone's mind, nor will my case manager help me. You are all wonderful people who deserve the best.
@DruidChild, sadly it has to be assumed that I would make a terrible builder!
love ya all and stay safe 
Oh no!!! We'll miss you so much @loves netball 😞 You've given me heaps of support and I really appreciate you. We'll miss you!! You are also a wonderful person and you, too, deserve the best 🙂
I hope that you're proud of the progress you've been making lately and I know that you can achieve the life that you want. Love you and stay safe
@DruidChild you are one of the most kindest people I have ever known. Please stay safe and reach your ideal life. I want that for you very much 🙂
Thank you @loves netball 🙂 That's really kind. I really hope that maybe one day you can come back here or something because I absolutely want to hear how you are - I wish you all the good things in this world
I'm still around until it becomes official @DruidChild. I'm also really confused with what's going on, but I've been told to stay off tough times, which means less supporting others, more supporting myself (or more like more hugs with big ted - even my case manager knows that big ted is my go to for comfort :D)
Yay you're still here @loves netball 
Sorry, I misunderstood your other post. I'm sure big ted loves getting lots of hugs! 🙂
Maybe look at my turning neg to pos post @DruidChild or ask @Ben-RO
@Ben-RO feel free to tell everyone what's going on, but I was only going off what you told me - so I'm really confused!
@loves netball: I just want to say that I am sorry for what you are going through. I don't even understand the full extent of your suffering but it seems like you are in a lot of pain and you don't deserve it. To me it sounds like you are trying so hard to navigate your health and well being while trying to be considerate of everyone else.
This isn't the same situation as yours but as a kid I cried a lot and I was called sensitive. Because of that I became really ashamed of how easily I woudl cry and how easily I can be hurt by things that some other people might think I should let go of. However, your feelings are your own and they are real and deserve to be acknowledged. Everyone feels emotions differently but just because one person might not feel hurt by a certain incident doesn't mean the feelings of the person who is hurt are invalid. I know this is a very difficult thought sometimes but your feelings deserve to be treated with respect and consideration! If other people try to make you feel bad for it, that is THEIR problem and not yours.
I hope you feel better soon.
@loves netball sending so much love your way.
We know you're not an attention seeker, and we would prefer you to make threads here to talk about what's going on for you so that you can get some support. Well done for watching netball and baking for a bit. I'm so proud of you for doing those activities!
You have every right to be you, and I'm so sorry that it feels like you've been punished for that. It's so good that you're reminding yourself that you spoke up for a reason, and all those true things. They can be tough to remember sometimes, can't they?
How are you doing today? 
Thanks everyone. Am a bit worried about the fact that I made this thread. I wasn't trying to vent or anything just say that things have been extremely hard, they're now a bit better, but please go easy on me 🙂
I had a good chat with my KHL counsellor; she worries a lot though, more than my previous one used to. I know she means well though because she thinks I'm quite an empowering young person. 🙂
Hey @loves netball Thanks for starting the thread 🙂 It's totally okay to use the forums as a manner of self-care and to use this opportunity to speak about something that may be relatable to others that use the forums. It's what we like to see on here - safe and positive ways to unload your thoughts. Venting is totally fine! (whilst respecting the guidelines)
Its great to hear you have a counsellor that cares about you in this way. We absolutely believe that you're an empowering person as we've seen it in how you help people on here.
If you feel like something is triggering maybe its time to log off and to use the tools you have in feeling better. Im sure Ted loves the attention!
Thanks @Thylacine, but for me venting is totally not fine and I can honesty say when I vent I feel a million times worse. For example to family I go off my tree about a sibling and it does not help me in any way possible!
@loves netball I think that might come down to the method of venting and what that means to you? For me, I think its about explaining how we feel and what it is that's making us feel that way. As apposed to maybe lashing out or bottling something in until it needs to come out, therefore not being in control of how that happens. Nobody is perfect so I guess it just takes some practice 🙂
Just the word venting triggers me, along with words such as ranting and rumination. Sorry I'm getting sensitive because of how people have spoken to me in the past. I know you're trying to be supportive @Thylacine 🙂
Instead of thinking of this thread as venting @loves netball, maybe you can think of it as updating us all on where you're at and what kind of support you need right now...that said, what kind of support do you think you'd benefit the most from in this thread? 🙂
I think it's awesome that you get on with your new KHL counsellor! She's definitely right in saying that you're an empowering young person.
Maybe you need some strategies in place for when you feel triggered, that make you feel better, since venting doesn't really work for you? A safety plan of a kind sort of thing? Sometimes when I'm in a low place I also find it easier to stay off the Tough Times threads on here, they can be pretty upsetting sometimes.
I hope big ted's still getting lots of cuddles!
It's not a venting thread. I didn't create it to vent. I made it to say. I've been in a horrible place but am now coming out of that horrible place.
Big ted might get covered in sweat from footy training right now
Thanks heaps @DirtWitch 😄
All good @DruidChild 🙂 I think I'm just super jumpy (in an anxious way) at the moment and I know why and I'm blaming two people for it (not that they actually meant to make me jumpy)
Thanks @loves netball 🙂 Jumpiness is a tricky feeling. Would some of your fitness skills or some netball or footy training help?
I actually think I need something more calming @DruidChild or maybe I'm just looking for encouragement / some direction. It's hard to explain so forgive me if I'm really confusing you. RO is actually the main trigger of feeling anxious and jumpy. I guess, I get jumpy and scared when I think I might have said the wrong thing or may react to something. It's a bit like my sensitivity has increased a thousand times
Hmm, okay fair enough @loves netball...what about some colouring or listening to some music? You're not confusing me, that makes sense 🙂 Just wondering whether being on RO is helpful for you this morning if it's making you feel anxious/jumpy? Also I totally know what you mean, I get anxious that I've said the wrong thing here a lot. If it helps, you always come across as respectful and supportive 🙂 And when lots of us are going through tough times, it's understandable that you'd feel anxious about being triggered.
