I Love Being a Disappointment
I am a disappointment
To my mother who feels sick to look at me
I am a disappointment
To my sister who's heart breaks when she hugs me
I am a disappointment
To my father who rants secretly about me
I am a disappointment
To my friends and teachers who see my hallow body
I am a disappointment to myself
A pathetic, obsessive, stubborn, skeleton of a nobody
Comments
You may not believe it but I'm a disappoint as well.
I'm a disappoint too....
I run form my problems
Coz I can't get a grip
I loose touch with reality
It all starts with a little slip.
I slip, loose controll
I begin to loose me
In a swerl of Self loathing
For I am a pirate in the sea.
A see full of self hate
I am a disappoint as well
As the sea around me swells
Good bye I whisper.
I'm done running, for this fight
I will find me again
Even if I have to rewrite
Who I am and begin all over again.
Sorry I just loved your poetry so much I thought I would try and make one too, it's pretty bad but I can relate to being a disappoint and I can see all you want is the approval of every one else when all you need is the approval of yourself. You are beautiful and keep trying. And you are not pathetic obsessive, stubborn, skeleton of a nobody you are a special soul that puts magic in the world even if you have trubble seeing it. X
This brought tears to my eyes. @Maryhadalittlelamb Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful poem, I am glad to have helped inspire it, and I truly appreciate the kind words and support 🙂 In my eyes, you are a gorgeous human being, definitely not a disappointment.
Thank you @Blurryphaced
You gave me the insperation to write it, I drew from yout creative peice. And as you are also a beautiful unique strong human that is far from a disappoint in my eyes you have such an ability to inspire with your writing we should write something together sometime. And I'm sorry I brought tears to your eyes. Stay strong beautiful and till nex time you are a beautiful insperation and it's ok not to be ok. X
You are far from a skeleton beautiful baby don't forget that, and everyone else can see your worth, you just have to look past all this self hate to se the beauty of witch you are. If that makes sense. X
I love this!
"I'm done running, for this fight
I will find me again
Even if I have to rewrite
Who I am and begin all over again."
This part of your poem I interpreted as really hopeful. Sometimes we do have to rewrite who we are (in fact self development is an ongoing part of life) but it's actually a really beautiful thing when you craft a new version of yourself that you're happy with. Thank you for sharing this with us 
Hey @Blurryphaced
Thank you for being so brave to share your poetry with us. It's so important to have ways to express how you're hurting inside. I can see from what you've written that you're feeling quite down on yourself. It's not easy to carry that feeling that you're a disappointment - do you think you could share how you're feeling with your family or a friend?
Know that you are not a disappointment here on the forums. You are a valued member of this community and we are here to listen to you.
I think many people already know how much I dislike myself @Bre-RO , the struggle is finding a way to love myself, especially when sometimes I don't want to because I feel I don't deserve it. Thank you for your kind words, it is nice to have the support of this community 🙂
Hey @Blurryphaced,
It sounds like you really are struggling with a lot of issues at the moment, particularly around how you see and feel about yourself, as well as some of the further reaching issues of your ASD, and how it's affecting you and your family.
I was just wondering if you were using any professional supports at the moment, or have used them in the past? Sometimes we can all feel a little out of our depth, and it can be really helpful to talk to a consellor or therapist, to help you reflect back what you're thinking and feeling without any judgement
I’m so sorry to hear how you are feeling.. in fact, it’s kinda how I feel too so please know you aren’t alone!
I don’t see you as a disappointment and I’m sure no one else on the forums do 🙂
The thing I find most helpful is trying to do things that I can be proud of. It could be something small like holding a door open or something else like supporting a person going through a hard time 🙂 it doesn’t have to be big and no one else has to know because the idea is to bring your self esteem up and every now and then I was proud of myself. Don’t let other peoples opinions affect your own! Your so much more than what those people see if they do think that of you.
But I’d say work on changing the way you see yourself (‘disappointment’) then once you build the confidence of not being a disappointment, try showing it. I’m not sure if this makes sense sorry but it’s whats helped me.
No need to be sorry at all! It makes perfect sense, and I thank you for taking your time to share this suggestion. I'll try it and get back to you 🙂 @Bananatime04
I sent you a high-five because I felt as if you deserve it. I don't even know you, yet I'm so thankful that your putting all your anger, sadness (pretty much your emotions) into poetry- and not self-harm. This is my first message to someone but it honestly feels so good talking to people about my problems and listening to them. I hope you don't mind me asking, but why do you feel like you're a disappointment? I'd love to hear more from you and maybe even some more poetry? 🙂
-Jasmine
Thank you for your kind message @jasmine12345678. Even though I'm not very good at it, I do enjoy putting my feelings into art, whether it be poetry, story writing, songs, or drawing, and as someone who has struggled with self harm, it is often my first method of avoiding that. I suppose I feel like a disappointment at the moment, for many reasons. I was born two months early, I am incredibly anxious, I want to be vegan, and I have ASD, so I can get quite controlling and obsessive with food. As a result, I feel like a burden to my family, because I make them so worried for my health, and I hate that about myself. Unfortunately, no poetry today, not feeling very creative 
@Blurryphaced great use of poetry, putting words together in such a way is truly something. I'm really sorry I can't offer any advice for you, just want to let you know that your not alone as I often feel 
. How are you doing at the moment?
Thank you for your kind words @Pasta. Sometimes its hard to feel like you're not alone. I am a little better now at least, feeling less depressed and more just anxious. I'm pretty used to that by now though.
