Thanks @Eden1717 I actually think you explained it so well. I am definitely emotionally confused.. and fucked! 😂 It's like there are two of me. I completely understand and respect the boundaries and that we obviously can't be friends but like then the other part of me just wants them in my life as adults I can turn to when I need someone. Like I don't want them to be my psychs. I don't even want a psych. I never did and was kinda pushed into seeing her. Like I just want some older females in my life I can trust and turn to when I need too? Idk. I've been like it since I was little. I get attached very easily and very deeply as soon as some sort of motherly figure shows any sign of caring. Idk. I wish I didn't. Like I try SO HARD not to get attached but yeah. I always fail. And I always end up so hurt because of it. It's okay. Reading them was my own stupid fault and I knew while I was doing it that I shouldn't be doing it but it was like I just needed to talk to them somehow and I guess reading their emails made me feel like they were there somehow? Well not really lol Made it more obvious that they are not but anyway it doesn't matter. I was just being stupid and it's on me. I actually bought this sensory toy thing the other day so was just playing around with that and it has kind of calmed me down a little. Plus hanging out on here.

I don't know what's happening to me!!!

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