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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

Hey @sunnygirl606 😄

 

I think the new mindset does really help. But sometimes my scores don’t really reflect it...which caused doubts to form. I think confident is too strong of a word haha, I think it’s more of a belief and faith that it will work out in the end..from experience I have learned that it’s not always positive to have expectations and as a result I embraced the idea of self belief a little more than self confidence. Idek if that makes sense 😅 

 

That is the thing, they no longer listen to me anymore. And I can’t really “prove” that this is what I think about education with the scores I am getting. They tend to mock me for it and they begin to think that I am faking it. Mmm, I hear you...and hopefully they do come around in the end some day. For now all I can do is really just try and move forward as best I can 🤷‍♀️

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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

ah yes i hear you @StarGirl101 It sucks when you think you did so good but the score you get back doesn't reflect that. But!! today i learnt in class about reflection and what feedback on assignments are meant for and my teacher said 'Feedback is just a way to tell you how you can improve and move forward, not a way to make you feel worse or tear you down' and this really spoke to me. 

 

I love hearing how you practice self-belief with your studies! For me, i found that although it does hurt when others don't believe in me, the most damage I can do to myself with my studies is not believe in myself. Do you feel like this too?

 

And yeah, with your parents, it going to be difficult and take a while, but they should come around, hopefully, and see that you are doing what you love! Heart

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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

That is so true @sunnygirl606, feedback is so so important. 

The thing is, my school doesn’t exactly value that at all. It’s super competitive and if you ask teachers where you went wrong and how you can improve, they simply say that they can’t give us that information. Being in a place like this...where learning is not at all valued and scores determine whether or not a teacher wants to support you in your education - takes a toll. I can’t do anything directly about it either, which makes it so much worse. But..I had AST the other day and we had a topic - connectionism or individualism - and I used that opportunity to shed light on how the aATAR system at my school really isolates students who aren’t performing as well and that learning really isn’t valued anymore. 


Exactly, not believing in yourself...is the worst feeling you can put yourself through. I guess failure is such an essential process in learning. I read a quote somewhere stating that life puts us through the same hurdles if it believes that we have not yet learned our lessons. And that really made me think...because I am not sure where I am going wrong anymore - causing a lot of doubt and a lot of insecurities to form. I wish I knew...what I had to learn, you know? Because it’s exhausting. But..for every ten, twenty times I get dont do as well...I do well once. That’s the only thing keeping me going

Thank you for your support, @sunnygirl606 ❤️ I really hope they do some day and actually look at me as if I am worth their time. 

 

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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

It's sad when teachers only care about your score and don't give good feedback, I understand you completely @StarGirl101 Is there anyone who you can give your work to, to give you some feedback on it, like a friend or classmate? Smiley Frustrated (Of course, though, choose someone you KNOW will not tear you down and will give you the opportunity to improve your work!) 

I'm so happy to hear that you're taking a stance against how systems like ATAR can be isolating to students! I found that I felt this a lot when I was going through year 12. It was like no matter how much effort I put in, that the system didn't think it was enough. Thankfully i had a really good teacher who taught me that there is so much more to life than a number from a test or the end of year score. He also taught me how important it is to do something you love and that life will find a way for you to do that. Maybe this advice could help you when you feel down in your studies?

 

And I understand completely what you mean with the hurdles! But I always try and view them as another opportunity to learn! I saw a quote and it said 'Failure isn't the opposite of success; it apart of the process' and I found this to be really motivating for me! What are some quotes or stories that motivate you?

 

And that's okay! @StarGirl101 All of the ReachOut team and i are always here to support you! Always feel free to reach out for help and advice whenever you need and someone will always respond to you!  Heart

 

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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

Hey @sunnygirl606 unfortunately, there isn’t anyone else who cares enough to spend some time on it and give me some proper feedback. I go to tutors - but they are super bias and only give extra resources to help the students they think have lots of potential. So I am in a place Rn...where I don’t know what to do other than move forward in the only way I know how. And to hear that, that isn’t enough for the system...breaks me down every time. But in saying that.. I agree with your teacher ☺️, because at the end of the day, I really do believe that life will make whatever you love a possibility one day. 

Yes, for sure failure is a part of the journey to success. I think we romanticise success so much. Like a lot of the people we look up to today have a similar story; they went through something difficult, and one day they decided to change and everything suddenly works out for them. The hard work they put in doesn’t go to vain. And I think seeing those stories while growing up made it seem as though I am only supposed to fail for a certain period of time before having a more straight road to whatever I want to achieve. It’s taken a lot to realise that isn’t the case. It’s still difficult sometimes but I think somewhere inside, I know that this is something I need to embrace rather than try and challenge. 

I love quotes 😄 I spend quite a bit of time on Pinterest just scrolling through and reading a bunch of them - a personal therapy session you could call it 😋 Here is my favourite one,

0CCFD50E-A512-4A04-950B-8E081570288B.jpeg

It’s quite lengthy but I think it really does capture the essence of failure and success. 

Of course, @sunnygirl606 💖 

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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

My uni has past students who completed the course/units and are there to help with improving your work and giving good feedback. Do you know if your school offers this?

Yeah, life is amazing! If it is meant to be, it will be Smiley Happy 

 

It's impressive seeing how much dedication you're giving to help yourself with how you think about 'failure' and education Smiley Happy From your original post to now, do you feel better around those topics? 

 

And I love long quotes! The one you showed gave so much insight and gave a lot to think about. I always do try to find the beauty in every situation - no matter how hard it is. It is a really good motivation for me. Maybe this might be good for you? @StarGirl101  

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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

Heya @StarGirl101 

 

Just wanted to chime in and send some support to you - I really identified with the feelings you've mentioned around your experience at school. It sucks so much when your talents and skills aren't being recognised - all I want to say, is coming from someone who didn't get high marks/much attention from teachers, that doesn't mean you won't go on to have a really successful life full of value. 

 

Sending lots of support to you right now!! Heart 

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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

Hi @sunnygirl606 and @Bre-RO, thank you for your support ❤️

@sunnygirl606 they do bring in past students from time to time, but they don’t help much at all - I was really excited when I found out at the start of year 11, but it isn’t what they say it to be. 
I think I felt better...until yesterday afternoon I got an assignment back. And it was so unfairly marked. I used lots of articles and such to support my argument, and in her feedback she simply says “little evidence and supporting argument”. I got...so upset yesterday. I trust teachers so much - I have a lot to learn from them, I have so much respect for them. Being so harshly and unfairly marked broke me...and I don’t know how to come up from that. The thing is tho..she is such a nice teacher. And it makes me doubt myself - because I am not sure if she is being true at all or not right now. 

I am supposed to get my scores today...and I haven’t been able to get out of bed because of the fear and anxiety. My mind is full of what ifs...and I can’t seem to think positively about anything. I am so...scared, and so exhausted. I feel that as a physical pain..it’s so heavy to carry around. I don’t think I did the best I could because so much happened. People who I trusted left, i couldn’t reach my usual counsellor for days on end, and being back to face to face was so tough. I get really anxious in test halls...and the last time I sat there was last year before quarantine - which brought a whole lot of negative memories back. I just can’t stomach it - that I didn’t work hard enough and that I didn’t do my subjects any justice.


Just..don’t know how to move on anymore. No matter how hard I try to get up...it’s like something pulls me down and it’s my fault many of the times - because there are times I just can’t work as hard as I wanted to. I end up looking down at myself...and it chips away at everything I have built till then. I don’t know what to do.

 

 

 

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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

That does sound really difficult @StarGirl101 and i totally understand because the exact same thing happened to me last week! I was having a really good day and got a test score back and did worse than what i thought i deserved! It really unmotivated me to do any more work that day so i listened to my brain and gave myself a break for the day! I did some self-care activities and watched some TV shows to just chill out and get ready for the next day. Maybe this is something you can do? 

 

I also always try to remind myself that if i have done the best work that i possible could have done, then i have succeeded.  If i have handed the work in on time, then i have succeeded. If i have just even tried, then i have succeeded. Maybe these little reminders might help you too?

 

I understand how hard it is when you feel like the teachers give you a comment and you're like 'what do you mean? It is right there!' haha, it is super frustrating!! Are you able to email or talk to your teacher to understand why she put that comment there even though you provided evidence as they wanted?

 

The 'what ifs...' are also so difficult to control and I 100% understand what you mean! My advice is don't check the scores until you feel that you are ready! And whenever you get a test back, maybe you could make a list such as 

- What I did well

- What can I improve on

- How this has made me feel

- What will I do to make myself feel better

When i do this it does really help me to cope when i get a score back that really upset me so maybe this is something you can try? What do you do to cope or make yourself feel better when you feel like this?

 

It upsets me to hear that people you have trusted have left Smiley Sad You can always count on us here at ReachOut! We are always here to support and encourage you! 

 

How has your physical pain been? Have you been able to see a different doctor or have you been able to get into contact with your counselor? 

 

And when you say you get really anxious in test halls, is there any way you can talk to your teacher about this and see if you can be put in another room if that'll make you feel better? I remember in high school I was the same - I got really anxious during tests and that made my chronic pain flare up and when I talked to my teacher, he gave me a wide range of options on how to help this situation. 

 

It's okay to not be able to work as hard all the time! It really is okay because your brain does need breaks and time to destress over all the work you have done! 

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Re: I feel like I am unwanted.

@StarGirl101 sorry that it took me a bit to respond...

 

With the chest pain, does it happen more when you're anxious/ scared? And have you ever tried any breathing exercises?

Sometimes my chest gets a bit tight and achy when I get really stressed, and concentrating on my breathing can help relax all the muscles that are over stressed.

 

I'm sorry about what happened with your teacher...

Sometimes assignments can be worded weirdly, I once nearly completed an entire assignment on the wrong subject! 

Do you think you might be able to talk to your teacher to see if you/ she missed or misunderstood anything?