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I’m worried I have a schitzophrenic illness and I’m so scared I’m afraid to tell my psychologist

Hi my names willow I’m 18 and, for the past like 6 months I have been convinced people are reading my mind and laughing at me and my thoughts 24/7 I have also been convinced people are watching everything I do but that one isn’t as concrete as my other paranoid thought. It’s really weird sometimes I also hear a whisper of my name at night I have been confused if that’s a ghost or if that’s just part of my messed up head. I also hear like the sound of someone trying not to laugh (this has contributed to my fear of people laughing at me) 

I’m terrified I don’t want my mum to know or anyone but I’m becoming severely depressed I think about self harm and suicide a lot, I don’t know who to talk to but I know I need support I’m so scared to tell my counsellor especially cause I have already been through trauma and a lot of things so I will just feel like one fucked up mess. I want help but I’m just scared I have never felt like this before, I know for a fact if I tell anyone they will judge me, look at me weirdly and just think I’m crazy, to be honest I’m not even that close to anyone to tell. Please someone help me 

Re: I’m worried I have a schitzophrenic illness and I’m so scared I’m afraid to tell my psychologist

Hi there @Willow-Fields, you're not alone quite a few of our members experience what you're going through so we have the utmost love and respect for what you are going through. I definitely believe you need some support now, it's important someone is with you in this journey. Whilst I hear you're scared to tell the Psych, they have a duty of care to provide you support and sit with you through the process - they have had a lot of training in the area, you are not alone.

 

Would you be up for giving Kids Helpline (14-25 year olds) a phone call tonight on 1800 55 1800? They are completely confidential and can give you further advice about how to disclose to your Psych and/or family if needs be. I am just going to send you an e-mail quickly about your username so keep an eye on your inbox Heart

Re: I’m worried I have a schitzophrenic illness and I’m so scared I’m afraid to tell my psychologist

Hi there. I am 15 and in senior school now and I am also having very negative thoughts. From my experience, I know how hard it can be to reach out. I have only told my best friend about my thoughts and that is the furthest I get. I feel like I should not exist in the world at times and it gets really hard. If you need someone to talk to, I am always here as I am a stranger. I would love to talk to someone to talk to about my thoughts, someone who would understand. Love to hear from you Smiley Happy

Re: I’m worried I have a schitzophrenic illness and I’m so scared I’m afraid to tell my psychologist

Hey @ilovearianagrande thanks for sharing your experience. Super sorry to hear about the negative thoughts. We want you to exist in the world - you're a wonderful human being. If you want to start your own thread about what's been going on for you please go for it Smiley Happy Heart

Re: I’m worried I have a schitzophrenic illness and I’m so scared I’m afraid to tell my psychologist

Hi @Willow-Fields

 

Please talk to your psychologist, it is essential. They are the most qualified professionals that can help you. There are anti-psychotic meds that can almost eliminate the voices and only your psychologist (other psychologists as well) knows which meds are best for you.

 

You don't have to tell anyone but your doctor and psychologist/counsellor and they can't tell anyone (unless you're life is at an immediate risk). These health professionals won't judge you, they understand what you're going through and most of them have dedicated their whole lives to helping people with mental illnesses. 

Re: I’m worried I have a schitzophrenic illness and I’m so scared I’m afraid to tell my psychologist

@Willow-Fields I'm sorry you're experiencing this.
I've gone through thoughts like this and know how scary it can be. I hear voices too.
Talking to a psychiatrist helped me and there's meds that can help too. Also talking to my psychologist helps, I hope you can be open with yours.
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: I’m worried I have a schitzophrenic illness and I’m so scared I’m afraid to tell my psychologist

Hello thankyou so much for replying, didn’t think anyone would at first.

yeah it’s really confusing I just also have really weird delusions and I just feel so isolated and scared 

I am going to see a psychiatrist soon and I hope things can change! I won’t give up on myself Smiley Happy 

 

Are you still experiencing that stuff or are you cured ? 

Re: I’m worried I have a schitzophrenic illness and I’m so scared I’m afraid to tell my psychologist

Okay I will, I just don’t think schitzophrenia is one of her professions but I’ll try find one that suits me 

thankyou lots for replying 

Re: I’m worried I have a schitzophrenic illness and I’m so scared I’m afraid to tell my psychologist

Hi thanks for replying! I 100% know whats it’s like to be afraid to tell someone about negative thoughts, I also experience some depression and anxiety and I remember how scared I was at first to open up to my counsellor or my parents but once you do you really feel understood and supported. You definitely should exist in this world, your a person on this earth and your life matters you matter whether you realise it or not! Pain just makes you stronger and builds you for your life Smiley Happy I know it’s easier said than done cause I say this to myself a lot but still sometimes go down the path of thinking super negatively and suicidal but I guess we are all just here trying to find a way to cope and to not give up! 

Thanks again and yea it would be really nice to have someone to talk to I feel alone almost all the time and I’m more than happy to listen to what you have to say Smiley Happy 

Re: I’m worried I have a schitzophrenic illness and I’m so scared I’m afraid to tell my psychologist

This was to @ilovearianagrande