I think I might be relapsing
Hi everyone, the last couple of weeks have been really hard, and I'm starting to think I'm relapsing. Tonight is especially bad, stuck in a rut of negative thinking, and I'm finding it hard to see anything good at all right now. 😞 Feeling very emotional, and I'm noticing a couple of my warning signs cropping up. If things get too much worse, I will be calling a helpline, as my coping tolerance is really wearing quite thin right now.
hey @mrmusic I hope everything is ok. If you need so seek some professional help please do. I'm always around if you need to chat sorry had a long day at work and am only catching up on Reachout stuff
@Brendos94 I'm considering asking for a closer appointment with the psychiatrist if this keeps going. I'm not supposed to see him until May. I just don't particularly want to end up in hospital again... but I guess it's not the end of the world if I do. It will put me behind a couple of years with uni though. 😞
I even managed to crack a very small smile tonight - despite how bad I'm feeling... and @sidthesillydog was the culprit! @j95 @Bee In all seriousness though, these moments have been very rare over the last week or so, so I'm making the most of them, thanks guys!
I'm not looking forward to the guilt that's going to follow however. I know it's going to happen, hopefully I can manage it alright.
The chat with the helpline was very good. I feel somewhat better, although I'm still struggling quite a bit tonight. I've just finished my cup of tea, and will probably head to bed soon.
Thanks to everyone who has helped me tonight @Brendos94 @T4ils @Erin-RO @Bee @scared01 @j95 @Nightruner23 I really deeply appreciate the fact that you took time to sit with me during a bad night. I'll keep you posted. 
Glad to hear you are feeling somewhat better and found the helpline... helpful!
@Erin-RO I will try again, I think I need to. 😞 I hope this is just a small bump in the road, and not a massive setback...
Okay self care..... I intend to make a cup of white tea tonight, which is warm but not too hot, and then I think I will have a read. I'm also going to try some soothing music (we shall see how I go with my uncomfortable headphones, but it might be worth it). I'm just going to leave the uni work, it's not going to happen tonight. Still on hold for the helpline, hopefully they will answer shortly.
Hey @mrmusic, I was just catching up on the thread. I'm glad the helpline was beneficial last night but I'm sorry to hear you're still feeling pretty low today
Have you been able to get much uni work done?
I was able to get an article uploaded for a group assignment, but I'm supposed to be writing a big piece, which I need to have ready by tomorrow night @Erin-RO.
I'm just sick and tired of feeling like a burden to my family and friends.
How have you been holding up?
@Erin-RO I know its my mind’s negative perception influencing my thinking like this. I’m just finding it so hard to actually believe anything positive about myself.
@Nightruner23 I can’t really explain it that well, but I know that my family and friends have made great sacrifices and endured extreme anxiety because of me. That’s what makes me feel like a burden.
@T4ils I’ve been forcing myself to do lots of self care tonight. Still feeling really bad though.
@Nightruner23 The fact is that I have so much trouble making and keeping friends. People just don’t seem to want to be around me, because I have some weird mannerisms at times, and because I’m just too unstable mentally. This makes me feel so alone. My family tries to be supportive, but they don’t succeed and usually make me feel a lot worse.
@mrmusic i am the same im not a positive person my dad always tell me im very negative and it should change i dont have much friends i barely have 2 and they seem fake
It is so frustrating because I really want to be a positive person and a good friend, but it just doesn’t seem to happen that way. I just don’t know what to do anymore. 😞
Hi @mrmusic how are you doing today? Just following up on the thread and I know it's hard to feel positive and break out of a mindset that may seem so overpowering at times. What helps me during hard times is to think of 5 things that I am grateful for, that helps me to see things in a more positive light even though at times I may not want to or feel like it. I keep practicing that and then eventually it gets easier and better.
Yeah @Lan-RO it’s a strategy that’s worked for me too, just finding it really hard now. I have no reason to feel so down, but I can’t seem to break out of this negative way of thinking. I think I’m definitely going to bring my psychiatrist appointment forward.
I’m safe @Nightruner23
@mrmusic yes some days are definitely harder than others. What are you doing to look after yourself today?
@Lan-RO Just little things, trying to stay afloat right now. I have to go into the cbd this afternoon to prepare for work tomorrow, and I can barely face the thought. But if I don’t prepare, that will set me up for a very bad day tomorrow at work, so I guess I just need to suck it up and go.
Today's been alright I guess, still feeling down. Worst part is I have literally no reason to feel so down, things in my life are going alright! @scared01 @N1ghtW1ng @Nightruner23
