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Re: Don’t know what to do


@333 wrote:
I’m trying to understand it’s not my fault but it’s hard.

It really is Smiley Frustrated It can seem like such a simple point, but I spent months and months getting to know it as true when I was processing some similar things that I went through. For me the thing that really brought it home was internalizing that I deserve the kindness of being told what happened wasn't my fault. Once I had that in mind I started reassuring myself of that, and that helped me a lot to believe it.

I'm sure with the right support you'll find a way to be okay again, and there's nothing wrong with being not okay for as long as you need to be Heart

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Re: Don’t know what to do

Hey @333 I just wanted to chime in to let you know that you did the right thing to talk about what happened. Also, to validate that saying - I'm too drunk, falling asleep and vomiting are all clear signs that you didn't give consent. It's a really yucky thing to come to terms with, so please let us know what you need to be supported through this. Your feelings are valid and you are safe here to talk through how this has made you feel. I'm just letting you know that I'm sending you an email, so keep an eye out for it. Lots of love to you right now Heart  

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Re: Don’t know what to do

Hey @333 I'm glad you're finding the forums supportive Smiley Happy I agree with @Bingo1234 consent means saying yes (when not feeling pressured or when under the influence- not saying anything does not equal consent). I found this cool infographic from kidshelpline, you don't have to check it out if you don't want to but I'll put it up just in case.


Screenshot 2020-09-14 144918.jpgWith that being said, our thoughts aren't always so nice to us, so it can take time to 'emotionally' recognise that this wasn't your fault

 

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Re: TW: Don’t know what to do

Hey @333 how’s it all going?

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Re: TW: Don’t know what to do

It’s okay. I’ve decided to call to that friend today and realized that it was not a good idea because it all came back and I started feeling bad again. So I’m not going to be contacting them ever again, for my own good.

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Re: TW: Don’t know what to do

It sounds like you’ve really thought about it and have come to a decision that works best for you. It’s so important to make sure you’re addressing your own needs. How are you feeling about it all?

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Re: TW: Don’t know what to do

Great!! I don’t know how I’m going to feel about it in the future but it’s great now. I’ve just been struggling with different problems for some time now. I’ve even been in mental hospital in the past few weeks and I’m still suicidal but that’s a different story. The point is that I’m scared that this situation doesn’t bother me that much at the moment because it’s only a small part of my current struggles and when those other things go away I’ll realise that it’s bigger and more traumatic than I thought.

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Re: TW: Don’t know what to do

Hey @333 really good to hear you've made the decision to put yourself first and not contact this person again, what they did was really not ok and your wellbeing and safety is most important Heart

You said you're still suicidal at the moment, do you feel like you're getting enough support around these feelings? We are always here to talk through mental health stuff with you and support you to get the help you deserve. 

It's understandable that you're worried that what happened might come back to you, it's hard sitting with that feeling and waiting for that. It's ok to take things one day at a time and focus on what is important to you right now.

 

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Re: TW: Don’t know what to do

It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re having such a tough time. I really don’t think you should be scared that the situation hasn’t concerned you as much as you think it should have. Just focus on yourself and what you need to do to make yourself feel a bit better ❤️