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Transphobia (TW)
TW for other trans people, for reasons that are probably apparent in the title.
Also warning for anyone who doesn't like swearing.
Okay, so I avoid transphobic websites, newspapers, ect., I enjoy going about their day without having their existence ignored, denied, demonized, pathologised or some fucked up version of all four.
But it pops up everywhere.
I do a google search on hormone therapy, naively thinking that the only people who give a damn about this stuff are actually trans people plus allies specializing in our medical care. Thinking that I need some info on a physical transition.
I just needed somewhere safe to decide on my own medical care.
But 70% of the results were just random people who know fuck all about our experiences spewing hate.
And people claim that trans people are often mentally ill and therefore "too crazy" to know who we are.
Like.... maybe that has something to do with increased chances of homelessness, abuse, murder and hate that so many trans folk have to live with.
Maybe it's us essentially being gaslit about our own gender since birth.
Maybe it's us being used as some political statement or scapegoat.
Maybe it's us being used as the punchline to a joke.
Maybe it's having people refuse life saving treatment to us.
Maybe it's people literally campaigning for our murder.
I wanted to meet with my local mp to talk about an unrelated thing.
Fat fucking chance of him hearing me out the second he realizes I'm trans.
"They represent you" my ass. "They" happened to be campaigning against the idea of me having the same rights as them.
I want to be strong and brave and help people going through the same kinda shit.
I want to advocate for my rights so that my future trans brothers, sisters and siblings won't have to. I want the chance to be genuinely myself.
And I know I'll probably have to fight for it.
But all this shit makes me fell so worn down.
IDK what to do. I don't really even feel like going to Qlife for some reason.
I'm just.. tired and hurt.
(for anyone wondering if this post was different last time they saw it, I posted too early and had to edit)
Comments
Hi @Tiny_leaf it can be really hurtful when you are trying to find useful information and are left with hateful comments from those who don't know how hard it is. I have had very similar experiences in the past, and one thing that I did find helpful was to find medical information from GP websites (even from GP's that I don't go to, just the information they provide is helpful; places that specialise in LGBT+ medical advice) as well as information from other trans people with lived experience.
Also, it is not naive at all to go online expecting specialist medical advice; being on the receiving end of hate speech from people who don't understand is something that you shouldn't have to deal with online.
Having to fight for your rights is something that can be so exhausting, but at the end of the day trans rights are something worth fighting for. Somewhere in the near future, trans people will be able to be their authentic selves, and already you are doing such a great job advocating for our community
@not-an-otter it sucks that you've had to go through the same stuff...
By GP websites, do you mean like the services offered section?
And lived experience is definitely helpful.
There's a transmasculine guy whose blog I love, and reading about his experiences has been really good.
Thank you
Hey @Tiny_leaf
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us so eloquently and passionately. I really relate to the feelings of frustration you have around discrimination and lack of representation by our elected MP's. It's admirable that you want to be part of a change for trans people and it's totally possible for you to do that.
There are national and state-wide LBGTIQA+ organisations that are helpful for more than just counselling. Some of these organisations are geared to provide information and support around queer health. That includes supporting people in their transitioning journey - having someone to help you source information, doctors etc could possibly help you to avoid exposure to the transphobia online. Here is an article that lists all the queer organisations in Australia - It's so important to have community as a queer person and there are lots of strong communities out there to lean on during these frustrating times . I thought this would also be a good time to link the gender discussion we had a couple of weeks ago - there were links to some great resources there too but here are some location specific organisations you might want to branch out to.
Hope you're feeling okay
Hey @Tiny_leaf
That would be so frustrating!
They have support for non-binary people too - here is a link to the part of their website that is for non binary people.
That sounds so tough @Tiny_leaf. I'm sorry you had to read some misinformation and toxicity. It can be really hard to find some accurate and good sources of information online. A lot of it is biased or hateful. Trans people have rights too which need to be respected. Unfortunately, there is a lot of silly, hateful stuff out there.
I think it could be a good idea to see if there are any browser addons that filter transphobic content. I found one that works on Chrome and Firefox here.
I wonder if there any more extensions like this?
Is there any way to report these sites? I read that you can make a report about offensive sites here but having not seen the sites myself, I'm not sure if they would fall into the reporting guidelines.
I think you're a great advocate already. You do so much on the ReachOut forums for other users. Keep up the good work! You should be proud of yourself.
@WheresMySquishy the extensions are a really good idea, and I'll probably use them for various other stuff.
The problem is that the websites themselves aren't transphobic, or at least aren't overtly transphobic.
I mean, some definitely are, but they also tend to be racist, sexist, homophobic, ect. and so insanely hate filled that they're easy to avoid (I believe the term for this is "subtle as a brick")
But most are.. well most are just newspapers honestly, with the occasional parenting blog thrown in.
They're just... average newspapers.
Like, a while ago a widely read statewide newspaper ran an article, on the front cover, about how distressed and concerned the parents of a class were after a six year old transitioned.
The newspaper purposely didn't use pronouns (she's a trans girl and it was clear what pronouns she wanted).
They then threw in some pseudoscience to basically imply that "he'd" snap out of it when she got older.
Online newspapers do the same sort of stuff, but more cheaply and on a larger scale.
And the websites in question are big, mainstream, well known news sites; like the New York Times and the Guardian so I probably can't report them very successfully...
It's honestly not enough to know who's not a hate group..
Like there has to be signs of explicit supports of trans and NB people before I feel safe, because otherwise there's a good chance of hate...
@Tiny_leaf That is really awful. That poor girl. A lot of newspapers and news websites can be really biased. There are barely any 'neutral' sources of news out there.
Perhaps you could find out how to contact the newspaper in question and educate them about the noninclusive and harmful language and reporting. I know that major Australian news sources usually have to go by The Australian Press Council standards.
Publications have to ensure reasonable fairness and balance in their articles. Writers cannot base their opinions on significantly inaccurate factual material or omission of key facts. They also have to avoid causing distress, prejudice and offence.
You can also make a complaint here.
@WheresMySquishy I know... I hope she and her parents didn't have to read it
She's a freaking six year old girl who went to school with her hair up in a ponytail, and she and her parents ended up on the front page of a major newspaper because of it!
I'm just glad that they couldn't include a photo of the poor kid.
I don't think reporting it would do anything....
People just don't fucking care..
When trans rights get brought up, a whole heap of terms get thrown around.
Usually "special snowflakes" "political correctness gone mad" "radical gender politics" "transgender lobby groups". Stuff like that.
Never "equal human rights" or "basic decency and kindness".
News organisations cause distress, prejudice and offence all the time but if anyone tries to speak out they get shut down.
They just need to find a target that most people don't care about.
That's the main problem I think..
It's not just an occasional biased story. It's everywhere and hardly anyone cares.
In the media we become a political talking point instead of people.
Hey @Tiny_leaf
I think it's really hard being online sometimes, because we end up being exposed to opinions that we mightn't have ever had to confront if it wasn't for the way the internet brings us all together. It's taken me awhile but I've learnt there are certain topics I simply can't engage with online in order to take care of myself.
Sometimes I find writing complaints/strongly worded e-mails can still be cathartic, even if you feel it will fall on deaf ears. The act of getting your frustration out feels good, and you never know who might read it. In saying that, I do get how exhausting it is having to come across articles such as these.
@Bre-RO unfortunately this isn't online..
The stuff said online is much, much worse, but I'm generally better at avoiding it.
This is in print newspapers and tv news sites.
I came across the mass of shitty online articles because I've been thinking about a physical transition and the internet was the only place I could really go to find out more about my options.
I know a few links to queer friendly sites but they often only mention a couple of options.
Hey @Tiny_leaf
Ugh that sucks. The media can be so triggering sometimes. Whenever I see something upsetting in a newspaper or online I try to counterbalance it with something good. So I'll go out of my way to search for the good work some people are doing for the cause.
Here's a link to a page on the Gender Diversity Services - I think this would be your best way of figuring out your options with transitioning. Hope it helps 🙂
I just watched a thing addressing the exact issue of transphobia in the media and it was weirdly validating to watch.
They just perfectly showed how ridiculous and biased the whole thing is, supported trans youth and proper medical experts in the field. 😊
Apparently one of this newspaper's chosen "medical experts in the field" who they cited is actually a diabetes specialist, and another one had admitted that he had never actually had a trans patient (glad to hear that no trans kids had to deal with him).
Idk, it was just nice to see this being addressed by a dude who (as far as I know) is cis and in mainstream media.
Here's the link for anyone interested.;
TW for mentions and descriptions of transphobia in the media (in case you hadn't guessed)
Thanks so much for that video @Tiny_leaf. I'm watching it now.
It's amazing how doctors, professionals and the media often use biased and stigmatising language without realising the negative impact it can have on people.
I'm glad I don't read that newspaper. I've had to stop reading some news sources because they were inaccurate and trying to push particular views.
Hey @Tiny_leaf thank you so much for sharing that tough experience with us.
I wish I knew what to say, but I want you to know that I support you - that your existence and experience and feelings are real and valid.
I hope that the forums can be a safe online place for you at the very least. And I hope that one day soon we will live in a world where most, if not all, sites are safe for you as well.
*sends hugs*