LGBTQ Hello's!
G'day guys, we have a new member who would like to engage with some other LGBTQ members 🙂 For all of those who identify as LGBTQ please feel free to give a wave, and feel free to chat about the ebbs and flows of living within the LGBTQ community. Those who do not identify - you are also welcome to chat and say hey 
It's a great topic for discussion.
I am one of the mods at RO and I identify as Gay/Lesbian, or towards that end of the spectrum at least 🙂 Hi!
Hi I this found this chat and I think it's awesome. I'm 18 and as bisexual. I hope that this okay I to just provide some advice to people in this community that just realised they are. Something I would have liked to hear is that it's okay if you're not ready to come out and remember that its best if you're comfortable with your identity before you come to others, whenever that is.
Hi guys. So I have a bit of an issue and I was wondering if any of you guys could help.
So you see, I've recently come out to some of my closest friends as bisexual. And one of said friends told me she is too... and also that she has a crush on me. At the time, I told her I did too - this was only a few days ago - because I thought I did but now... I feel like I've made a terrible mistake.
She struggles with depression and I know she's pretty insecure and I'm scared I'm going to hurt her too much if I tell her I was wrong and I don't actually like her in that way. I want to be friends still and I think she would too but I feel so terrible about this.
I'm sorry if this doesn't really fit in this chat but I need some support right now.
Hey @BlueEleven , that sounds really tough - do you think you can just be really honest with her and just say pretty much what you've said here, that things have moved really fast for you and you're not sure if your feelings are the same as hers?
Hi @Janine-RO
Thanks for your message! I decided to tell her. And she says she can’t be friends anymore because I hurt her too much. I don’t know how to express how miserable I am right now. She’s the only friend I’ve ever had that I can talk seriously with and I’ve told her more about myself than I’ve ever told anyone else. Ever. And now I’ve lost her. I told her “okay, I understand” and that I was sorry and she said maybe we could talk because she likes being my friend. What should I do when I see her at school? My plan is to avoid her because she said she needs space. What should I do now?
Hey @BlueEleven
That seriously sucks! But I guess you made the best of a lose-lose situation, huh? I think you have to be a very strong person to tell your friends how you're feeling, and an even stronger one to deal with the consequences of that, but know that we're all here for you! The feeling that you get when you feel like you've lost someone close to you is terrible, but you can talk about your issues here if you feel comfortable with it, or with someone you trust if not. One of my favourite quotes is; 'Be strong, because things will get better. It may be stormy now, but it never rains forever.' It's sorta cliche, but it's one of the things that's kept me going. Stay strong!
Thank you guys so much for your support!
She hasn't been at school the last few days and so things have been good with my other friends, but I'm terrified that when she comes back she might tell them and they turn against me. I'm also pretty annoyed now that I've had time to think about it. I really don't feel like I should be in the wrong here since I told her how I was feeling and I was honest and I'm getting a little bit annoyed that she's the one calling the shots about whether we can still be friends. I guess she feels she has the right since she says she's "pissed and kinda heartbroken" but I hate that she can make me feel like this.
Honestly though thank you so much for taking the time to help me out here, it means so much since I can't really talk about it with anyone else a) because it would mean coming out to way more people than I'm ready for and b) because it's pretty embarrassing for both of us and I don't think she'd be very happy if I told anybody.
Hey @BlueEleven
That really sucks. It makes sense that you should have equal say in deciding friendships, but both points of view are valid I guess. I mean, she probably feels hurt, and you probably feel melancholy and sad (just my guesses). I guess both feelings are completely valid and you both have your own, completely separate, feelings. I had yet another situation just like this again yesterday 😞 Yeah I get how much it sucks! I was in your position, and I'm feeling like I lost a friend. I mean, they still talk to me, but it's not the same, you know? Always happy to talk and listen! I completely get that you don't want to tell a bunch of people, and again, just know that we're all here for you! Hugs to all, and have a great night!
I totally get how it’s just not the same. I mean, we send memes to the group chat and chat a bit, but it’s not the same at all.
I’m kind of scared though. She wants to talk soon. A few days ago she said she would talk when she was back at school at that could be any day now. I have no idea what to say and I just don’t want to have to deal with this. The thing is I want to be friends with her and I would give so much to go back in time and fix this, but I’m scared to face the consequences and I’m scared to have to dig up the pain again after I spent the last few days burying it away and ignoring it.
Hey @BlueEleven
Yeah, we chat, but it's totally not the same as a face to face conversation.
I totally get that. That honestly sounds really scary. Talking to your friends is one of the hardest things in the world if you're not on the same page! That sounds really tough, and I sorta suck at these sorts of things! The only thing I'd say is think through what points you want to bring up, and the ones you don't before the conversation. Think of what you'll say if she brings up something you're not ready to talk about, and think about how you'll say what you need to. I find rehearsing really helps, not like a speech, but just like dot points almost, expand on what you want to say, and how you want to say it! Also think through what you don't want to say, if you don't want to bend the truth or anything. Things just sometimes slip out during those sorts of conversations! And above all, don't spend every second of every day thinking about it! I know how darn hard that is, but if you let it weigh you down that much, you'll never get back up from it, and that's scarier than anything. Hope this helps a bit! I couldn't find the 'Sending Virtual Hugs' gif, but imagine it's there!! 🙂 Have a really good night, and feel free to talk about anything you're comfortable telling! Always here to listen! Goodnight!
She's calling me my full name. This hurts so much I feel numb. I can't afford to lose another friend.
I am sorry that you are feeling hurt and numb. Are you able to do anything tonight that can help you feel a bit better?
Hey @BlueEleven
That sounds really hard 😞 I had almost exactly the same situation the other day, one of my friends, who also struggles with depression and anxiety, said they have a crush on me, but I don't really like them in that way... I just told them that I still really wanted to be friends, but I didn't have the same feelings for them. I think they're coping, they still talk and joke, but I haven't had a serious conversation with them yet. Just want to wish you the best! I don't have much advice, but do what you think is best! (I know that's not super helpful! 😞 sorry!) All the best!
Thanks for taking the time to reply! That sounds really hard and I get what you’re going through. I wish I could’ve just realised I didn’t like her in that way at the start and saved us both all the pain. But now I’ve just ruined everything.
It sounds like being around her at school might be challenging for you. It might be a good idea to give her some space as you suggested, as it seems like something that would suit you both best for now. Hopefully you can reconnect with her soon and stay friends as it sounds like you have had a good relationship so far. Please feel free to keep us updated
Hi! I'm going to introduce myself. I'm 13, I identify as trans (FtM) but I haven't transitioned and my name and parents are the problem. When I came out as non-binary, my bestie helped me pick the name, Billie. I loved it at the time but now I'm second-guessing the name. My counsellor, friends and parents already call me Billie and I'm afraid of what might happen if I change it. I like the name Andi or Jessi or Nick or Theo, but I'm stuck! I've also told my parents about wanting to get top AND bottom surgery, but they don't seem like they're on board. They say that they support me but I don't think they do! They think that I don't understand what comes with being trans but I do! I also have dysphoria with like my hips and my b00bs and my facial structure, too! SOMEBODY HELP!!!!!!!!!
Hey @trans-boi,
First of all, welcome to the community, I am so glad to see that you have found ReachOut to be a safe place to share some of how you're feeling and what you are going through 🙂
It sounds like you're dealing with a couple of tricky situations right now, which I am sure lots of people would be happy to discuss and share their input 🙂 When it comes to names, lots of trans people go through a similar process of trying to figure out which one feels right to them. It's ok to change your mind, and try to work out which name suits you best! Names are one of the largest and most visible parts of our identity, so it makes sense that we want to feel comfortable with them. Being open with those who are closest to you can help, as I think many people can understand how difficult it would be to settle on a name that feels right.
When it comes to your parents and medical transitioning, it can be an incredibly tricky conversation to have. It sounds like your parents are supportive of your transition in other ways, so it might be worth talking to them about why they have reservations about getting top/bottom surgery. Potentially they might be hesitant about going for surgery now as you haven't finished puberty - having surgery now before your body has stopped growing, may mean that you have to have more surgery to correct some stuff later. It might be worth talking to them about other ways to medically transition, like HRT. While it's not perfect, have you tried other ways to help with your dysmorphia, like padding or binding? Have you found that this has helped in the past?
Hello @Andrea-RO !
Thanks for helping me out! It was very nice of you to mention some other things that could help, but I'm not allowed to do anything! I'm not allowed to bind, pack or receive HRT therapy 😞 I'm meeting with my psychologist tomorrow so I'll bring it up with her. Again, thank you SO much for your help with my problems 🙂
Hi @trans-boi !
That sounds really hard! Glad to see you're going to see a psychologist though! Hope things smooth out soon!!! All the best!
Hi @trans-boi! Welcome to the forums!
I'm sorry that you're not allowed to express your gender identity. 😞
But I hope everything goes well with your psychologist.
Hey guys!
I am a new builder here and it is super cool to see a super open LGBT+ space for discussion.
I am 22 years old, and I currently and recently identify as a lesbian.
I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 9 months now - we celebrate our 9-month mark on a plane to Bali where we will spend 10 days in a private villa hanging out with monkeys! So pumped 😄 We met at our job in I.T. and I chased her for several months before she agreed to date me haha
I came out to my family as bisexual when I was 11 years old (young, I know) and then only dated men until my current girlfriend. I now understand why I was not really sexually attracted to any of the men I dated 
Hey guys! . Ah, I'm so happy to see so many young members embracing themselves! I'm 21 and I only really figured out I was gay at 18 (by playing a hot sim on Sims 3. Cannot make this up 
), so kudos to you! Also, it's nice to see some people excepting changes in how they've previously identified! I identified as asexual most of my life before I realised I was indeed very gay. I don't think I've ever once thought to myself 'Yep, I am straight', though.
@peacelovepizza That's adorable. Ah!
So many wonderful people sharing their experiences! It's lovely to read all of your stories that you're sharing with us, so thank you! 🙂
I guess it's my turn now! 😄
So, hello everyone! I am N1ghtW1ng, obviously 😛 I identify as "gender-whatever"(not an official term) because I don't actually care. Not exactly either but not exactly neither. I'm also asexual and aromantic, because I haven't a clue what any of those attractions feel like 😛
(and that's it)
I'll see you all on the rainbow 😉
@peacelovepizza aww that's so cute 🙂 I aspire to have a relationship like that one day, it's great that you've found someone that you're so in love with.
