originally posted on 19-01-2021 9:35 PM

@featuringme thanks for posting the question

Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc)?

If your not kind to yourself this majorly negatively affect your overall life. Like with work/study overworking is easy when someone feels they are never hitting their own standards. In relationships, this can affect how open or how the person represents themselves. For me personally with eating, when I hated myself I would binge eat and just not look after myself. These just a few consequences highlighting why kindness to ourselves like give to others is so important.

originally posted on 19-01-2021 10:54 PM

Sorry everyone, here's my answers for the questions so far. I'll make it as easy as possible to read. I hope it's okay to tag everyone who has contributed so far, my apologies if it's not. These threads are interesting by the way. 

@A_Friend @Lost_Space_Explorer5 @featuringme @scared01 @WinterCalvino @Kaylee-RO 

 

1. What does being kind to ourselves mean?

That's a hard question, but I would say being kind to ourselves means taking time out for ourselves. That can be different for everyone. It could be attending some sort of therapy, seeing a professional, seeing and/or talking to family and/or friends, going on these forums, exercise, art, colouring in, pampering (such as a nice bath with some bath bombs), reading, writing, watching TV or movies, whatever it is. It means that we all need to do some self care, and try and love ourselves, like we love others. I struggle with all of this myself but that's the best explanation I can think of.

 

2. Why is it important?

To remind ourselves that it's okay not to be okay; it's okay to struggle. Self care isn't selfish in any way, it's necessary for everybody, especially those with mental health issues. It can be therapeutic and healing, and to avoid ourselves getting mentally and physically exhausted, etc.

 

3. Can you think of an example when you've been kind to yourself?

Going to a concert to see my favourite singer (and a concert before that from another band I love, but the one with my favourite singer meant more to me), doing work experience in high school for 2 years at Aged Care Homes, and possibly more but I can't think of any right now.

 

4. Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives? (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc?)

I would say yes. It's hard to be positive for me and to believe I can do something, because I'm a failure - I left school early (year 10, 2015) because of a few reasons which are too triggering for me to write, sorry. I don't study and I don't work (I've looked into stuff though). I struggle with eating habits and sleeping. But anyway, my answer would be yes, because if we talk ourselves down, we won't feel like we will be able to push ourselves, whether it's to change something such as dieting, exercise, etc. If we believe we can do things and tell ourselves "I can do whatever I set my mind to" and have a better, stronger attitude, then that would have a better positive impact on ourselves and aspects of our lives.

originally posted on 20-01-2021 7:55 PM

@Anonymous thank you so much for sharing! I love what you said - "self care isn't selfish in any way." 

 

I have loved reading everyone's responses to this question - its so interesting to hear peoples perspectives on what self kindness means to them 

 

1. What does being kind to ourselves mean?

For me its about self nurturing, making yourself a priority, taking the time to heal and grow, taking the time to do the things you love, saying kind things to yourself. 

 

2. Why is it important?

When we are kinder to ourselves we learn to be loving and accepting which I believe builds a lot of emotional resilience from negativity. It opens up opportunities to learn about ourselves and take the time heal from the negative things we can say about ourselves. 

 

3. Can you think of an example when you've been kind to yourself?

One of my favourite meditations to do lately is Loving-Kindness (or 'Metta') Meditations. At first I was a bit uncomfortable because I wasn't used to saying these kind affirmations to myself, but as I have practiced I have cultivated a lot more kindness towards myself. This meditation here is one I like if anyone wants to check it out. Also check out Kristin Neff - her meditations are truly amazing!

 

4. Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives? (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc?)

From personal experience - yes. I have always put an intense amount of pressure on myself to be 'perfect' and I would always put myself down. For about 2-3 years I really spiralled and it drastically affected my sleeping, eating, stress, study, relationships with family and friends. But now I am slowly healing and being kinder to myself - it has been a bit up and down sometimes and it has taken a lot of work but I'm getting there and I'm proud of my small progress  

originally posted on 20-01-2021 9:53 AM

Very insightful responses everyone! Gives a broader perspective on how we each define being kind to ourselves 😄

What does being kind to ourselves mean?  Being kind to myself means treating yourself the way you want to be treated by others who are important to you. To me, this comes in the form of respect, honesty, compassion, and self-care.

Why is important? Because you can your own best friend or worst enemy. Being kind means that you can experience the more positive aspects and circumstances of life, whether that be having good mental health, being physically healthy and fit, being surrounded by supportive people, achieving academic and career prospects.

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself? This morning by waking up from a good sleep to recharge and eating filling breakfast (Cereal and a banana) haha 😄 Might even go for a walk later.

• Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc)

From my experience, how we talk can impact. When I make mistakes and criticise myself more than another might, it affects my ability to work effectively which leads to more mistakes. It can be a vicious cycle on my wellbeing. What’s more, how we talk to ourselves can impact on relationships for the worse. For example, talking to ourselves in a self-defeating way can lead to internalising those feelings, thereby withdrawing and being anxious around ones you know.

These are circumstances I have found myself in during my lifetime.

 

Another question for everyone:

What skills do you think are needed to be kind to ourselves?

originally posted on 20-01-2021 10:18 PM

What skills do you think are needed to be kind to ourselves?

To try and be positive, self love/kindness (obviously), mental and physical strength, I'm not too sure, I struggle with being kind to myself.

 

How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?

As I mentioned, I struggle with being kind to myself. I guess just trying to tell yourself you can do whatever you set your mind do, and stuff like that.

 

@Milkninja222 @Lost_Space_Explorer5 @A_Friend @WinterCalvino @hunginc @WheresMySquishy @Kaylee-RO @featuringme @scared01 @Alexarose 

originally posted on 21-01-2021 12:13 PM

How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?

hmm i guess thats where the acceptance and seeing things comes into it. if we can accept our mistakes and accept that we need help it can be abit easier to be kinder to ourselves. Being able to see it from another perspective can be helpful, almost like treating ourselves as a friend if that makes sense

originally posted on 19-01-2021 10:52 PM

Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc)?

 

Hmm, i would say both yes and no. I find that we are often kinder to other people then we are ourselves. I can be super hard on myself and unforgiving for some habits or things ive done or think however when it comes to others ive been known to be 'too forgiving'. im much better at being kinder and guiding others along through both good and bad times much better then myself. 

originally posted on 19-01-2021 7:36 PM

Thanks @scared01  @Lost_Space_Explorer5 , I'll post my answers shortly xx

originally posted on 18-01-2021 9:25 PM

@Milkninja222 thank you, I would love to hear your response to these questions or the next round. 

What does being kind to ourselves mean?

Taking time to rest and break from work/study. Talking to myself like I would a best friend, reminding myself I'm human and I'm not perfect

Why is important?

This important for overall health with an emphasis on mental/emotional health. Also for me personally life has highlighted the importance of being your own best friend.

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself?

Today and last week I have been taking time off working and working out since I'm a little burnout and switching the negative thoughts for more positive ones

 

@featuringme and @Kaylee-RO I had pretty similar response to you, great minds think alike and thanks for answering these.

 

Hope to see different and the same people reply to the tomorrows round of questions 

originally posted on 19-01-2021 6:15 PM

hey guys! nice to see you all. this is a great GR topic, i hope lots of people join in here!


What does meaning Kind to ourselves mean?
For me it means to give ourselves a break and to rest. Alot of us pressure ourselves into being 'perfect' but the truth is we are all perfect in our own ways so when we make a mistake instead of chastising ourselves for it, learn and move forward to better ourselves. forgive ourselves for those small mistakes and for taking a break from work or school or studying when it becomes to much.

Why is it important?
The world has enough people judging, we dont need to constantly critique ourselves as well

Can you think of an example of when youve been kind to yourself?
i took abit of time to myself instead of going straight into my responsibilities for the day. i needed some fresh air and a space to breathe for a little while before the craziness of the day set in

originally posted on 19-01-2021 6:34 PM

@scared01 

I love your answers to the questions - especially the one ‘what does being kind to ourselves mean?’ I really needed that reminder that not everything has to be perfect and that it’s important to learn and move forward  thanks so much! 

originally posted on 19-01-2021 6:44 PM

thanks @WinterCalvino
i am loving reading all the responses here from everyone here too!

originally posted on 18-01-2021 11:41 PM

Super excited for this chat 😄

 

What does being kind to ourselves mean?

It means different things for different people. When it comes down to the core of it for me, I think it means looking after your own needs (physical, social, emotional, spiritual, etc.). It's also about whether things you do align with your values.

 

An example of when someone isn't kind to themselves could be like if you think you're a bad person, then you might act like how you think you should, by pushing people away and acting bitter and that could be a way of self sabotaging. Being kind to ourselves would be challenging this belief about yourself and following your values in relationships (e.g. being open and honest)

 

Why is important?

It's important so we can be happy and healthy and respect ourselves

 

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself?

Today I played piano for a little while for the first time in AGES (since the start of the pandemic)- I had just kind of lost interest in it. And my parents sort of always used to thank me for playing so it didn't feel like something I did for me. But today I shut the doors and played for me 🙂 (albeit very poorly because I'm way out of practice)

originally posted on 19-01-2021 4:40 PM

Ahh I was trying to find this thread! Is it too late? @Lost_Space_Explorer5 

originally posted on 19-01-2021 6:28 PM

Nope @Anonymous, we'll be here all week 😄 You're free to answer the questions any time, even after the week if you wanted 🙂

Ooh interesting question @WinterCalvino 😮 I think how we talk to ourselves is like how we interpret things that we do or that happen. It can greatly affect how we feel about a situation. It just makes me think of the CBT appraisal model lol.

*Possible TW around eating* An example could be how you think about food. If you think eating is a bad thing and will lead you to look a certain way you might feel guilty or ashamed to eat. But if you had perhaps a more helpful thought around eating that it is necessary and there's no good or bad foods per se, you might feel happy and confident around food.

Another example could be if you tell yourself that you're bad at studying and you're going to fail, it might make you feel hopeless and unmotivated. But if you thought about studying as a process that interested you and wanted to learn about the most recent reading (etc) you might feel curious and engaged.

Being kind to ourselves when we talk to ourselves can have a big impact on how we're feeling, but of course emotions are a very complex thing, and cognitive appraisal can seem a little oversimplified 😛

Has anyone found talking to themselves in a different way when approaching an aspect of their lives helpful?

originally posted on 19-01-2021 6:16 PM

@Anonymous you can join in at anytime, each day there will be new questions so feel free to answer the questions from the start and work your way up to the current day 🙂

originally posted on 18-01-2021 3:44 PM

Looking forward to seeing the responses for this chat! Already loving what I've seen so far.

 

What does being kind to ourselves mean?

I think it means looking after ourselves, and I associate it with self-care. Physically, we can take care of ourselves by exercising, eating well and getting enough rest. Looking after ourselves physically can also help our mental health. We could also listen to music, meditate, and have breaks from stressful things like work or school. We can be kind to ourselves in many different ways, and whatever way we choose is valid! Who we interact with can also have drastic effects on our wellbeing. Looking after ourselves can also involve setting boundaries, and surrounding ourselves with supportive and caring people. 

 

Why is important?

Being kind to ourselves is important for our mental health. Looking after ourselves ensures that we stay healthy physically and mentally. Although being kind to ourselves is important, there are a lot of obstacles that can prevent that from happening. In society, for example, I feel like there is too much emphasis placed on success and achievement. This can be a dangerous mindset, for people will feel obligated to sacrifice their wellbeing to achieve this. 

 

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself?

Last week, I bought a shelf for my bedroom. I've become stingy recently, so buying expensive items makes me feel uneasy. But, I haven't bought anything expensive in a while, so I decided to buy it. Whilst it's important to make sure we don't spend too much money, I should be more open to treating myself to a few items.

originally posted on 20-01-2021 7:10 PM

What does being kind to ourselves mean?
I think it means accepting ourselves, taking care of ourselves, and acknowledging that while we may not be perfect, we are trying our best and learning to be the best version of ourselves.

Why is it important?
I feel as though I have to take care of myself before I can take care of other people. Knowing myself also helps me make better decisions. When I am kind to myself, I have better physical and mental health.

 

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself?
When I find myself slipping into self-criticism, I try to talk to my inner self like how a friend would talk to me.  I also list all the good things I have done recently and think about what I like about myself.

Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc)?
I think so. I feel like when I am confident about myself and clear about my values, it helps make knowing what I want out of a relationship clearer. I also feel like being kind to myself helps me be more resilient in the face of setbacks, bad days at work or bad grades.

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves?

I would say the gift of perspective, being able to forgive ourselves, being able to change the types of attributions we make and being able to experience gratitude. I also think it is important to remember how we have overcome obstacles we have faced in the past. Knowing the kinds of self-care that you prefer, being willing to experiment with your wellbeing and being open to personal growth can also come in handy. I have a diary where I write what I did for self-care, how it made me feel and whether I would try it again.

How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?
- I think it's helpful to have a support network or someone who can cheer you on, work on a challenge with you or be an 'accountability partner'.
- Scheduling in time just for ourselves. You could use a timer to take a study break, use a timetable or diary or set a reminder on your phone.
- Setting SMART goals and make a plan of what to do if we experience challenges or obstacles along the way.
- Possibly changing our expectations and how we measure success. Success is not about never failing or messing up. For some people, it could be as simple as getting out of bed and facing the day, even if we don't want to.
- Reframing negative thoughts in a more positive light.

originally posted on 18-01-2021 11:28 AM

Hey All!! I think this is a great Slow MO discussion! Coming into the new year I am sure lots of people have made new year resolutions and goals to tackle on, but being mindful to be kind to yourselves and work within your limits is so important! 

What does being kind to ourselves mean?

Taking a time out to rest, reflect and reboot ourselves is the best form of kindness. Taking breaks from work, school/study, friends, family, sports etc. to rest will only maximise your efforts down the track! Being reflective on your everyday, how your feeling, checking in with yourself and making points of gratitude through your day 

Why is important?

You are your first person, your own best friend, and there is nothing more painful than seeing your best friend run down, and hurting! Nurture yourself 

Can you think of an example of when you've been kind to yourself?

This morning! I went for my morning walk, listened to a podcast and did some flow/meditation before work to start my week