originally posted on 21-01-2021 10:14 PM

Can you think of an example of when you would have liked to be kinder to yourself and how you think it would have helped at the time?

 

Oh goodness, way too many times. I hate myself inside and out, I don't like anything about myself. This is a hard question for me.

 

Sorry my answers aren't the best everyone. 

@Sophia-RO @Milkninja222 @Lost_Space_Explorer5 @A_Friend @WinterCalvino @hunginc 

@WheresMySquishy @Kaylee-RO @featuringme @scared01 @Alexarose 

originally posted on 21-01-2021 12:19 PM

Can you think of an example of when you would have liked to be kinder to yourself and how you think it would have helped at the time?

 

i can think of quite a few but i think the main one would have to be when i first started my mh journey. I struggled to accept that i had an issue and that i really needed some help even when i was suicidal and self harming to me that was normal because thats how i coped. i hated myself for needing help because i was the strong one, the one who kept everything together, the one who helped others and not the one needing help. i wasnt kind to myself at all, nothing i did or said to myself or anyone else said to me changed my perspective of what a horrible person i am.

 

i think if i had of been kinder to myself, it wouldve helped me to see that i needed help and there were people willing to help me as well. this wouldve made accessing and allowing help much easier and in turn helped to cope and heal 

originally posted on 21-01-2021 10:04 PM

It sounds like you went through some really tough times @scared01. I think you have raised some really important points about being kind to ourselves, especially in moments where it is needed You sound so strong and brave for getting through these hard times. @WheresMySquishy it is nice that you felt less alone after reading Scared01's story, it sounds like you have been through some tough times too . It's so awesome that you have been able to acknowledge some of the positive aspects when sharing your story with us here.

originally posted on 21-01-2021 10:22 PM

thank you @Sophia-RO

originally posted on 21-01-2021 10:50 PM

I'm a bit behind on the questions sorry guys haha

 

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves?

I reckon talking to ourselves like we would a friend, like some others have mentioned I think is a good one. Also trying to generate some self compassion (which can be super hard and needs practice)

 

How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?

Being mindful that being kinder to ourselves is a learning process and habits are hard to overcome. Taking it a step at a time and not getting down on ourselves with set backs.

 

Can you think of an example of when you would have liked to be kinder to yourself and how you think it would have helped at the time?

TW I would have liked to be kinder to myself when I was hurting myself back in high school and been nicer to myself about my social skills and appearance. It's so hard when society tells you to hate yourself. It would have been easier to get out of some of the loops I'm stuck in now because I feel I was younger and could have bounced back. I would have liked to have reached out for support earlier but fear of judgement got in the way. I guess it's too late to change that now and all I can do is try and be kind to myself going forward

originally posted on 22-01-2021 10:18 AM

Hi everyone! Welcome to the last day of slow-mo GR. It has been a great discussion with everyone’s responses. Hope everyone has enjoyed talking about how to be kinder to ourselves! 
Me time

Here is the question for the day! 

What are 3 things you can do to be kinder to yourself right now or in the next few days?

 

 

 

originally posted on 22-01-2021 2:54 PM

What are 3 things you can do to be kinder to yourself right now or in the next few days?

I could:

• Go outside for some fresh air 
• Do some meditation/breathing exercises 
• Schedule a day where I just chill and not do much

There are many things we can do to be kinder to ourselves, this is just mine. Participating in this chat has been a wonderful + insightful experience, I've learnt so much 

originally posted on 22-01-2021 7:13 PM

What are 3 things you can do to be kinder to yourself right now or in the next few days?

- Take a break from career stuff until I go back to work on Monday and not feeling guilty for not doing work on the weekend.

- Enjoy one of my hobbies instead of worrying about the upcoming appointments and tests I'm having and whether I'm doing a good enough job of adhering to my treatment.
- Practicing gratitude that I am still here as tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my emergency surgery.

originally posted on 23-01-2021 6:56 PM

What are 3 things you can do to be kinder to yourself right now or in the next few days?

• Watch some TV
• Write in my journal
• Try to read a book

originally posted on 23-01-2021 7:41 PM

What a great GR! We had so many people participate! I've enjoyed going back to read over your answers more thoroughly, it's so interesting to hear everyone's perspectives about being kind to ourselves.

 

Thank you to @Milkninja222 @WinterCalvino @Alexarose @featuringme and @Wathan for posting the questions each day

 

And thank you to @WheresMySquishy @A_Friend @Kaylee-RO  @Anonymous @scared01 @hunginc and @Sophia-RO for participating in the chat and for all your amazing answers! 😄 (sorry if I missed anyone!)

 

Some things I've taken away from this chat (in the form of quotes- I got the idea from @WinterCalvino  :p)

 

You are your first person, your own best friend, and there is nothing more painful than seeing your best friend run down, and hurting! Nurture yourself

-Kaylee-RO

 

The world has enough people judging, we dont need to constantly critique ourselves as well

-scared01

 

...it's okay not to be okay; it's okay to struggle. Self care isn't selfish in any way, it's necessary for everybody

-musicfan_xo

 

[We can be kinder to ourselves by] ..changing our expectations and how we measure success. Success is not about never failing or messing up

-WheresMySquishy

 

...being aware of our thoughts and feelings, and perhaps our behaviours might help us identify when we might need to be kinder to ourselves

-hunginc

 

[being kind to ourselves] ..opens up opportunities to learn about ourselves and take the time heal from the negative things we can say about ourselves.

-WinterCalvino

 

Who we interact with can also have drastic effects on our wellbeing. Looking after ourselves can also involve setting boundaries, and surrounding ourselves with supportive and caring people. 

-featuringme

 

...you can your own best friend or worst enemy. Being kind means that you can experience the more positive aspects and circumstances of life

-Milkninja222

 

I think what would have helped me was t be kind person or friend that I needed and this would have helped with self-awareness that i needed

-A_friend

 

 

Finally, (this is a huge post, sorry!), here's the list of the questions for anyone who still wants to answer them (you can answer whenever/if ever you want)

 

1. What does being kind to ourselves mean? Why is important? What are some outcomes of being kind to ourselves?

2. Does how we talk to ourselves impact on our approach to different aspects of our lives (e.g. work/study, relationships, sleep, eating, etc)?

3. What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves? How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?

4. Can you think of an example of when you would have liked to be kinder to yourself and how you think it would have helped at the time?

5. What are 3 things you can do to be kinder to yourself right now or in the next few days?

 

Thanks everyone, I hope you have a good weekend!

originally posted on 23-01-2021 10:35 PM

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 thank you and to everyone that participated. It really was such a great chat, so many inspiring/ helpful answers. I hope everyone had a good day today and has one tmr too

originally posted on 26-01-2021 1:52 PM

Sorry guys! im a little late to finish. my stupid internet wouldnt let on the last few days-super annoying

The 3 self care things i could do would be
-go for a drive somewhere nice as its one thing i like to do
-Do some colouring in
-do some revised studies

thanks everyone who contributed the past week!

originally posted on 31-01-2021 8:39 AM

1. Finish an artwork that I know will make me feel better having it finished, and art is therapeutic too.
2. Take some photos, and see if I can take some good ones. I'm not too bad with a camera... 🙂
3. Do some rebus puzzles! So fun 😄

 

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 😄

originally posted on 22-01-2021 10:34 AM

@Wathan thanks for posting the question today

What are 3 things you can do to be kinder to yourself right now or in the next few days?

1. Be grateful where you are at right now in life

2. Flip the negative thoughts

3. Do something you love

Bonus watch a pep talk here is link if you need it: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oim4FWz-LcM&t=1484s

 

originally posted on 22-01-2021 10:17 AM

Can you think of an example of when you would have liked to be kinder to yourself and how you think it would have helped at the time?

I would have liked to be kinder to myself during year 12 and my first year of university. I had such high expectations for myself and refused to consider what was realistic or achievable for myself. I think what would have helped me was t be kind person or friend that I needed and this would have helped with self-awareness that i needed

originally posted on 21-01-2021 7:07 PM

Can you think of an example of when you would have liked to be kinder to yourself and how you think it would have helped at the time?
It's hard to think of a single example because I feel like I should be kind to myself more often. When I was in high school, I thought that having anything less than an A grade meant that I was a failure. I was also scared about what people thought of me. I wish I hadn't spent so much time thinking about those things and did other things such as focusing on my hobbies and life skills.
@scared01  Your story resonated with me so much and reading it made me feel less alone. Similarly, I would have thoughts that I should be ashamed for seeking help because other people were going through a lot worse. I feel like seeking myself more positively would have made me more aware of my strengths and able to open up to others more.

originally posted on 21-01-2021 7:30 PM

im so glad you can resonate and it helps you feel less alone @WheresMySquishy
i also relate to pressuring myself into having A grades and anything less was a failure. it becomes tricky when that happens hey

originally posted on 21-01-2021 10:33 AM

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves? How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?

I think we should try to remember that different forms of self-care can work differently for everyone. For example, listening to relaxing music is often recommended as a form of self-care. However, I find that just listening to any song I enjoy will help with my wellbeing, whether if it is pop, rock or a bit more sombre. This is because I love to visualise things when I listen to music, so anything will suit me. Ultimately, we should be open-minded and willing to experiment with different forms of self-care. I think we should also be generous to ourselves. If you want to do lots of forms of self-care, that's great! We should allow ourselves those extra days off work, to have some alone-time, etc.

 

Having a supportive network of people beside you will help immensely with self-care. They can provide you positive affirmations and check on your wellbeing. If we're struggling with being kind to ourselves, we can also consider therapy. Therapists listen to you without judgement, and will guide you through your troubles. 

 

Can you think of an example of when you would have liked to be kinder to yourself and how you think it would have helped at the time?

Last year, I had a final exam for uni. As a first-year, I had no idea what uni exams would be like, so it was quite stressful. It was also worth a lot, so it added extra stress to an already stressful situation. I think I can confidently say that I didn't handle it in the best way . It was a 24 hour online exam, and I pretty much pulled an all-nighter to finish it. I didn't go outside for a walk, or to get some fresh air. If I could go back to that day, I would take more frequent breaks away from my computer, and go outside for some fresh air. I would also try not to pull an all-nighter. Tbh this one is quite challenging, because maintaining good grades can be a big priority, especially for people who need good grades for their course. However, I think we should be mindful that our wellbeing should always be prioritised, so we should aim to have a good night's rest before anything else. Finally, I would've been extra kind to myself the day after. For me, that would mean chilling at home, indulging in some tasty treats, listening to music and watching tv shows/youtube. That would've helped to reduce my stress from the previous day.

 

originally posted on 20-01-2021 9:03 PM

@Alexarose thanks for posting today questions

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves?

Communication, seeing the more positive side, and empathy

 

How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?

Spend time figuring out what they are, researching how to overcome them, making a plan and taking action on it

originally posted on 21-01-2021 12:11 PM

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves?

I like what everyone has said TBH. i think communication, seeing things from different perspectives, empathy, turning things into positives and also acceptance is important as well. i find that when ive done something wrong i can really struggle to accept it and make all sorts of excuses to give myself a hard time!

originally posted on 20-01-2021 7:43 PM

What kind of skills should we keep in mind when trying to be kinder to ourselves?

Self-awareness; being aware of our thoughts and feelings, and perhaps our behaviours might help us identify when we might need to be kinder to ourselves

 

How might we tackle resistance or obstacles to being kinder to ourselves?

One way we can tackle obstacles to being kinder to ourselves is changing how we think