[CHAT] Discussing mental health with your family
For those of us who have watched Lilo & Stitch, we all remember that iconic quote, right? The one about family?
For better or worse, we're all born with a family of some sort. Everyone has a different relationship to their family--sometimes the way we feel about our family is like something straight out of a Hallmark card, all brilliant sparkles and blinding love. Sometimes it's a bit more complicated, and in other times our family might actually be the people who hurt us the most. Of course, for a lot of us here we still live with our families and depend on them for money, uni, and a place to live.
And all that stuff on top of whatever mental health things you might have going on, and navigating mental health with family isn't always an easy thing. Especially for those of us from CALD (culturally and linguistically diverse) families where concepts like mental health and therapy aren't very well-known.
Come join us this Monday June 19th, at 8pm AEST for a chat about how your family factors into your mental health and share stories and tips on maintaining your mental health whether your family is more of a help or hindrance.
@j95 abi's and tbi's are kinda similar in that they are both brain injuries, can tell you more about it sometime if you want to know more 🙂
I'm loving the discussion we're having here! It's a really good blend of getting to know each other and some really great tips and insights.
Onwards to our next question!
How can you normalise talking about mental health with your family?
How can you normalise talking about mental health with your family?
One thing for me is encouraging them (mostly one brother) not to use terms around mental health/illness as insults. Another is to validate their emotions, and to try and talk them through the experiences. With anything, I think the more familiar you are with something, the more comfortable you become with it, and I hope that can be true of families and mental illness
I think we've already had some great suggestions here about opening up discussions on mental health...stuff like casually bringing it up with younger siblings so they know they can turn to you and also asking family members for little requests, e.g. ask them to go for a walk, remind you to eat etc. etc.
I think with older family members it's a bit harder. But I suppose once you have one member on your side they can back you up and also do some of the heavy lifting with others e.g. one parent can to talk the other one. Maybe drawing attention to campaigns like R U OK day would give you a chance to discuss MH without necessarily making it too personal?
edit: night @May_!
@FootyFan26 Do you think you would be able to bring up asking your family for more opportunities to hang out? It does sound like a good start.
@Stealth_ninja I think talking about symptoms is a really great idea...even just a convo about how physical symptoms can have mental causes (e..g being tired and getting headaches from stress) can make mental illness more relatable. In the end symptoms of mental illnesses are just thoughts and behaviours that exist on the same continuum as 'normal' symptoms.
@FootyFan26 yeah fair enough 😞 my grandma is super arthritic and after her stroke she's always been sort of disoriented, so it's not easy talking to her. I try to call her every week to chat but it's definitely not easy at times
I'm not really sure. Maybe talking about it in a general sense to plant the seed before talking about it personally. It can be tricky though.
@roseisnotaplant I agree. Talking about it in general terms is something I've tried to do with my family to gage their views, improve their understanding and hopefully someday be able to talk more about my own experiences.
I think a good way to start is finding sneaky ways to start a conversation about it, eg. if they see something on TV, online, in the news or whatever and starting with general comments and questions can definitely be a good way to go.
As frustrating as it can be, I think it's important to remember that sometimes they have different reasons and backgrounds and influences for why they see things the way they do and whilst it's good and important to have these conversations and help with their understanding, getting really emotional and aggressive towards them isn't always a helpful way to improve their understanding - trust me! Keep it a conversation.
I have no idea. Since I'm not too open or comfortable discussing with them it just means that when I'm around them I need to hide what I'm feeling which for one burns me out pretty quickly and when you're doing it everyday is fucking hard.
I guess they could help by making more opportunities for me to hang out with them NOT in front of the TV because I love hanging out with them and it makes me less isolated and lonely.
3. What do you think is the role your family plays in your own mental health? How can you involve them in the recovery process?
So true @DirtWitch. Families can be an amazing support. However people can also experience guilt or fear of burdening them. In addition, everyone is human and super supportive families might not be entirely supportive all the time.
Involving them in the recovery process is tricky particularly if they have a hard time understanding what you are going through. Trying to explain your feelings in a way they might be able to understand is a good place to start I think. Maybe updating them on what's been going on and if you feel like you have made some progress. Asking them to encourage you to do things that might help your mental health Eg going for walks, getting out of the house etc.
Hey everyone!!!
Trying to play catch up here...
What is your family like?
I'm one of lots of kids. I like hanging out with them but only get to see them once a week, apart from my half brother who I've only met a handful of times, I'm the oldest. My parents are completely different stories, there's a lot of MH stuff and other serious issues there.
Getting to see my siblings is the highlight of my week.
Is mental health something you feel you can talk to your family about?
Not really... The only way I would be able to talk to my family about this would be I think with my siblings but maybe in like a subtle way otherwise they wouldn't understand. My brother who is 17 is a bit different, I can talk to him about it a little bit and vice versa, sometimes.
I can relate not wanting to burden them. It's a hard thought to deal with
My family know coz mine is pretty obvious, but I don't like talking to them about it. I especially don't want my dad to worry. His sister committed suicide and I'm too scared to tell him he's nearly lost me a few times too.
I think my family plays a very big role in my mental health. Probably the biggest out of all the people/contributing factors in my life, especially my mum. They mean well, and I know that they love me, but I'm super sensitive and sometimes that's just hard for them to understand...
I've tried not to involve them in the recovery process, simply because it's something I really wanted to be able to do on my own. But lately I've been able to involve them more simply by being honest about when things are troubling me, and they've been doing their part to show more acceptance and support.
Being able to communicate openly and respectfully, and to receive that in return has been integral.
I think with parents they also kind of get this idea that they always know what's best for you and they kind of keep pushing their idea onto you even if it's wrong. Like I have a friend whose parents would not stop bugging her about getting off medication even though she needed them for her bipolar disorder, and they were doing it because they genuinely thought it would be best for her.
I practically only include my dad coz he's all that matters.
[Sports announce voice] Aaaaaand we are now live for our GR sesh on mental health and family!
Our first question of the night is: W
I have a very patchwork sort of family...my lil bro and I were raised by my mom and my grandma. For a bit we also just lived with my dad's family (grandma, grand-uncle etc.) while our parents worked. Now, my family is all over the place! My mom and bro live with our cats in one country, my grandma and dad and half-siblings live in another, and I live in Australia
