[CHAT] Discussing mental health with your family
For those of us who have watched Lilo & Stitch, we all remember that iconic quote, right? The one about family?
For better or worse, we're all born with a family of some sort. Everyone has a different relationship to their family--sometimes the way we feel about our family is like something straight out of a Hallmark card, all brilliant sparkles and blinding love. Sometimes it's a bit more complicated, and in other times our family might actually be the people who hurt us the most. Of course, for a lot of us here we still live with our families and depend on them for money, uni, and a place to live.
And all that stuff on top of whatever mental health things you might have going on, and navigating mental health with family isn't always an easy thing. Especially for those of us from CALD (culturally and linguistically diverse) families where concepts like mental health and therapy aren't very well-known.
Come join us this Monday June 19th, at 8pm AEST for a chat about how your family factors into your mental health and share stories and tips on maintaining your mental health whether your family is more of a help or hindrance.
Hi Everyone!
Sorry im late, i put some clothes for wash early this morning and forgot about them 😕 anyway here now! Glad to be here.
What's your family like? Who's in it, how do you feel when you spend time together? (Don't forget to include any non-human members in your answer!)
My family is complicated but overall good. I'm lucky i have both parents, a pretty great brother and a loving dog as part of my home life. I fight with my mum a lot and have a pretty complex relationship with them, its definitely been a source of stress for me in the past. I also come from a culturally diverse background so we don't really talk about our feelings, this is hard when youre like me and tend to have a lot of feelings haha but things are much better than they used to be!
I'm temporarily logging off but I'll be back soon - time to make a cup of tea, which I should have done before!
Time for another Q methinks
Is mental health something you feel like you can talk about with your family? Why or why not?
Hi Everyone!
My biological family consists of my mum, dad, brother and sister. I'm probably closest with my sister, but she's still a teenager so sometimes I'm not cool! 
My brother and I never really got on that well. I love my parents but my mom and I have very clashing personalities and fight a lot. I also have a puppy and guinea pigs.
I don't talk to my family that much about mental health. I want to, but I don't feel like I can. They have different views and understanding of mental health so it usually just tends to end up in an argument. I try to subltly slip things about mental health in with my little sister and be as supportive of her as I can because I want the best for her and if she ever struggles with her own mental health, I want her to feel like it's ok, she can talk about it and can "reach out" (pun intended!) for help.
@Randomness I'm sorry to hear that about your family though I'm glad you can be there for your sister! She's lucky to have you
IN my parents defence - they are doing their best and it's not their fault they've been brought up the way they have.
I definitely think its a common thread @DirtWitch, I didn't tell people for a long time because I felt like a burden.
Is mental health something you feel like you can talk about with your family? Why or why not?
I am really lucky in that I can talk somewhat openly with my family when I want to. However I do worry about making them worried/putting burden onto them when I do share. Also although they care some don't respond too well - which can make me feel worse. So it's tricky in that regard. Overall they have been really supportive, but of course sometimes it is hard for people to understand things that they haven't experienced.
The short answer is no. I had friends take me to my first GP and psych appts, friends coach me through starting/going off medication with my psych and GP. I got my own medicare card so that they wouldnt know etc so yeah it was pretty bad for a while. Sorry if this is over-share. I've worked hard with my parents to help them understand me and how i process things and deal with stressors/triggers but even now we talk about MH all the time but never in the context of me. And if i do my mum goes into denial and says that it was iron deficiency...
ANYWAY, they're still very supportive of me and ive been lucky to have the money and support systems to help myself but I never felt I could go to them because of stigma amongst the South east asian population around mental health etc
Is mental health something you feel like you can talk about with your family? Why or why not?
Fuck noooooo.
I don't like worrying my family so I don't tell them. They all seem to have their own stresses and struggles so I feel like I'd be making it harder for them to deal with those if they had to help me and there's the fact that they aren't, especially my grandma, very empathetic regarding emotions. They care a lot but when it comes to stuff like that it doesn't really work.
Because everyone else is stressed or has MHI sometimes the house goes into a bit of a meltdown and I'm the only one who seems to have their shit together. If I don't at least look and act like I have my shit together then the house is going to turn into Gordon Ramsey's new series, Household Hell.
Yes, I am very lucky to be able to talk to my family about mental health - both mine, and the general concept of it. This is mostly because my mum struggles with her mental health, and my dad is super supportive of both her and me.
I'm seeing some common themes with everyone's answers about how even though people might mean well/care, they might not always be helpful and the fear that you're burdening others by disclosing your own problems with mental health.
I wonder with that second issue if it's something that's more common with mental health? I know people generally don't want to burden their loved ones with their troubles but you really do see it a lot
I feel like I can talk about it - both my parents have a history of mental illness and they're open about it. I don't really like talking about myself though. I probably should.
Mental health is a very difficult topic to talk about with my family, mainly because in China the concept of mental health isn't even really a thing, let alone things like depression, anxiety etc.
With my mom in particular I'm very lucky because she's supported me ever since I got my first depressive episode when I was 16. I've had a lot of people treat me in shitty ways because of my mental illness but she's never done that even though I know she struggles with understanding it at times. But breaking it to her when I was getting sick for the first time was really hard, and I kept it hidden for so long my illness got pretty bad before I got treatment
No Worries @letitgo, see you soon!
Hey @FootyFan26 i think it's great that even though you're different, you, your mum and bro do something together. I think even though members of a family dont always understand each other, things like that can be really nice. I totally relate to what you said about it depending on whether people are in a good mood. It can be tough to navigate sometimes.
@Stealth_ninja I can relate to a lot of what you said! None of my family grew up in Australia; we're all Chinese and the way we express feelings is very different and sometimes not very healthy.
I get along best with my mom and my grandma (plus the cats)!! I don't talk to my dad much. But even with people I really love I sometimes don't talk about the tougher times I have because I don't want them to worry. I will say that all the women in my family (including me) have great senses of humour 😉
I have a pretty small/close family: one sister, parents, two cats and a dog 🙂
What's your family like? Who's in it, how do you feel when you spend time together? (Don't forget to include any non-human members in your answer!)
I have a fairly large family with 2 Sisters and a Brother. As well as about 30 Cousins.
We spend time together for Birthday's Christmases etc and then don't actually talk a whole lot between those times 😛
@Ben-RO wow 30 cousins...you must need some sort of pneumonic device or rhyme to remember all their names!!
Your dad sounds amazing @redhead 🙂
I am sorry that the rest of your family is complicated. From what you have shared in other parts of the community, it sounds very very hard at times.
Hey everyone!
Great way to start off @DirtWitch!
My family consists of myself, my mum and dad, and my two younger brothers. And our dog and cat. I mostly feel happy when we spend time together, but my middle brother is very confident and good at all the things I'm not, so I can sometimes feel quite insecure around him...
