Live GR: Identity and Self-Acceptance, 9th of September, 7:30 pm AEST
Hey everyone, I hope you're all going okay 🙂
Get excited because we'll be having a live Getting Real chat on 'Identity and Self-Acceptance' this Wednesday at 7:30pm!
We'll be exploring the meaning of identity and self-acceptance and why they can be so important to us. Where does our sense of identity come from? Is living in line with our values important to maintaining our sense of self? (those are rhetorical questions to think on before the discussion :p)
2020 has been a strange year- but it's certainly given many of us time to reflect on how we see ourselves. This should be an interesting discussion and I hope to see you there! 🙂
Until then, take care! 😄
Having a creative hobby can really help with expressing yourself and finding out what you like @Hozzles! 🙂 I don't believe that people have to necessarily be good at doing a certain kind of thing. Something basic like scrapbooking, journalling or sand play/therapy can be helpful for a lot of people.
@Lost_Space_Explorer5 Haha that GIF is perfect! 🙂
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I feel like identity is about trying on a lot of different masks before you find one that you're comfortable to wear. Figuring out who you are can involve lots of experimentation and trial and error. One way someone can connect more deeply with their identity is through doing things that interest them and spending time on their hobbies. For some people, connecting with their identity could involve spending time with other people in the same culture and being in places that give them a sense of belonging. Joining groups of other people with the same characteristics can also be a good way to explore your identity.
I've personally found it helpful to reflect on my strengths and values.
@WheresMySquishy yes, that's a very nice way of putting it 🙂
I can definitely relate to connecting with my identity through being involved in groups of people with similar identities
Such good discussions, everyone! 
Time for the next question!
How would you describe yourself? What elements of your identity are important to you?
Well I'd describe myself as a Muslim girl! My identification as a Muslim is probably one of the most important aspects of my identity, I think it might be because Muslims are a minority in Australia so I feel like it's a unique aspect of my identity.
How would you describe yourself? What elements of your identity are important to you?
Oh... I'm imagining how I'd describe myself to a stranger.
The 'obvious' seems to be that I'm a psychology + literature student, because everyone asks you what you do/ where you work/ what school you go to. No matter where you go! Also, that I am a woman. Next would be where I live, though I don't really like to identify myself by where I live, since I love travelling more than being at home.
Other things that might or might not come up through observation/ depends on the topic include:
-That I am very passionate about promoting mental health!
-That I am a creative thinker.
-That I'm a member of the LGBT+ community.
-I know some people don't like to base their identities off their mental health/ illnesses, but I consider it to be a part of my identity due to how it might affect my behaviours.
This is such a good question, because I would also identify myself as a writer. But the thing is, I don't actually write very much! However, the stories and characters in my head are very important to me, so I still think calling myself a writer is valid... it's a complicated one!
@Hozzles I also feel that my mental health is part of who I am. It has shaped so many aspects of myself and my life. 🙂
Hahaha I love Buzzfeed quizzes @Lost_Space_Explorer5! 
How would you describe yourself? What elements of your identity are important to you?
I'm not that good at describing myself, but something that has helped me in the past was finding what my strengths are. I've taken an online quiz (I think it's called the VIA Survey of Character Strengths but it's on a few different websites and in different formats) a few times. The last time I took it, I was told my strengths are appreciation of beauty and excellence, kindness and generosity, bravery and valor, love of learning, and honesty, authenticity and genuineness. I've written down ways I can use my strengths in my notes.
Family is also really important to me. Some parts of my identity are rooted in family ties. I'm a young carer, but I'm also an advocate for my family members. I often don't like having to be a carer but it's an important part of my identity.
Hope you guys don't mind if I join in on here! I'm late to the party as usual so haven't seen the other questions or responses properly yet..
I guess I ALWAYS find this extremely difficult. I hate talking about myself and never know how to describe who I am cause I'm not so sure I know the answers to that myself.. but one thing that always seems to stand out is that I'm a family person. I will always put my family first no matter what and that's something that's very important to me..
This is an actual thing HAHA^
update: apparently I am lasagne=cool and chill
@Lost_Space_Explorer5 wrote:
when in doubt, do a buzzfeed "which type of pasta am I?" quiz and you'll have your answer 😛
Hahahahah! So true!
@WheresMySquishy - yeah, I agree that we never stop discovering ourselves! We are not exactly who we were as babies, after all. 
@Lost_Space_Explorer5 Update: I am penne pasta, because I'm 'basic and laid-back'. Not sure if I agree!
Accepting and appreciating yourself no matter what! I think I might have a few experiences with this. One was when I wanted to get into a certain university so badly in Year 12, but I didn't end up getting the ATAR for it. I wasn't comfortable with the university I got accepted into, but now I am so, so glad I'm a part of this uni! For one, it has a more casual/ modern rather than a prestigious vibe, which relaxes me. It also lets me study both psychology and literature, which the other uni wouldn't let me do.
Before COVID, I used to do pole/ aerials (I miss it so much!). For a year I couldn't seem to progress through the levels, no matter what. However, I still valued being a member of the studio, and the workouts. I accepted that I was never going to be a professional haha, and embraced the workout and feeling confident in myself. Eventually I did progress!
Ah, another big one I just thought about is not finishing uni 'on time'. I've had to withdraw units and defer a few times, and it's something I'm still struggling with. However, I accept that I can't change the past, and it's been great focusing on areas of my life other than uni!
Time for the next question!
What does self-acceptance look like to you? Have you ever accepted or embraced a part of yourself that you previously disliked or weren't comfortable with? Did you learn anything from this?
@WheresMySquishy I really like the idea about writing what you are in control in, I find that helps me a lot too! To me self-acceptance is just being okay with who you are and not trying to change who you are to fit in with everyone/everything else around you, just feeling at peace. I would say one thing I'm trying to improve is my tendency to daydream a lot in inconvenient moments and I know it sounds like such a small trivial thing but it was something that began to interfere with my life when I was in exams/tests, doing work, driving, but lately I've been trying to work through and notice what activities make me daydream more and when the people/activities I'm doing where I don't daydream at all. Something else is my tendency to get obsessed with finishing something I started or having to do things a certain way, I'm trying to reframe this and let myself know it's okay not to finish something or do something a different way if it's going to do more harm than good.
@celestialdreamer I also daydream a lot. I find that it helps me deal with my negative emotions, but it used to interfere with my concentration at school. My daydreams tended to revolve around stories I wanted to write, so I would turn them into something creative.
@WheresMySquishy it also helps me, it makes me feel happy which is why for so long I didn't realise it was interfering with my life and I also day dream about similar things, using it as a creative outlet sounds like a good idea though, I will definitely try this!
I zoned out for a little but I don't really have a lot to add, everyone has really great points for this one! 
I think self-acceptance means embracing aspects of our identity, including our flaws. We don't have to like our flaws, but we can recognise them as part of who we are and have an overall happy image of ourselves.
I used to struggle a lot with my body image growing up. Because I didn't look like other people in my school and was teased about my appearance, I didn't like who I looked like on the outside. I also felt bad about myself, like there was something wrong with me. I was a perfectionist and felt as though I had to uphold a certain image because there was a lot of pressure on me from my family to be a star student and popular at school. A lot of academic things didn't come naturally to me and I'm actually a really introverted person.
What I've learned is not to focus on things that don't really matter in the long term. I often ask myself things like 'Will the same group of people be my friends five years from now?'. Something that has helped me is making a list of things that are within my control and things that are outside of my control. If something is a problem that I can do something about, I think about my options and whether there is something that I can do now. If I can't do anything about it, I try to focus on self-care or doing something more fulfilling, such as my hobbies.
I agree that self-compassion can be really helpful @Lost_Space_Explorer5! I think we can be our own biggest critic. I sometimes try to think about what I would say to a friend who is going through the same thing, because we can be a lot more kinder to other people.
