Live GR: Identity and Self-Acceptance, 9th of September, 7:30 pm AEST
Hey everyone, I hope you're all going okay 🙂
Get excited because we'll be having a live Getting Real chat on 'Identity and Self-Acceptance' this Wednesday at 7:30pm!
We'll be exploring the meaning of identity and self-acceptance and why they can be so important to us. Where does our sense of identity come from? Is living in line with our values important to maintaining our sense of self? (those are rhetorical questions to think on before the discussion :p)
2020 has been a strange year- but it's certainly given many of us time to reflect on how we see ourselves. This should be an interesting discussion and I hope to see you there! 🙂
Until then, take care! 😄
I haven't heard of the locus of control, I'll have to look that up @WheresMySquishy. Emotions are definitely there for a reason so watching them rather than avoiding them or buying into them can be helpful!
@celestialdreameroh I have that tendency to get fixated on something until it's done- reframing can definitely be helpful! Also thinking of it not as an obsession but just being able to get really focused on things and channeling that in a helpful way?
@Lost_Space_Explorer5 that's a good way of thinking about it, I think I definitely need to continue working on reframing.
I think all the little things in life make us feel good about ourselves, like having a nice conversation with someone, helping someone out, smiling at someone, eating your favourite food, doing self care etc.
Something that can make you feel bad is being shut down or ignored in a conversation, or made to feel that your input isn't valuable.
Having positive self-talk, reaffirming that you are worthy, talking to someone you trust, indulging in some self-care, doing something that makes you happy can make you feel better after a bad situation.
@celestialdreamer I agree that there are so many small simple things that can make us feel better. 🙂
Does anyone else have affirmation cards/apps and write down good things about themselves? I put a nice affirmation in the front of one of my notebooks so that it can be a place of positivity whenever I open it.
@WheresMySquishy ooh, it's similar but I used to write song lyrics I really liked/ with a positive message on the front page of my notebook so I'd see it whenever I opened it! I also added funny pictures, my favourite animals, etc.
@celestialdreamer I'll have to look into that book. It sounds awesome! 🙂
@Hozzles I was thinking of doing something similar. I bought a book with really thick pages to use for scrapbooking and uplifting pictures, but I haven't done anything other than plan what kinds of pictures I'm going to include in it, colour schemes, etc. 
@WheresMySquishy it's called daily mantras to ignite your purpose by Lisa Messenger
Yes! For my birthday my friends got me 365 affirmation book I love it so much!
We're tackling some challenging questions here-this one has 3 parts! 🙂 (LEVEL 5)
What kinds of things can make us feel good about ourselves? What can make us feel bad about ourselves? How can we feel better after experiencing situations that bring us down?
What kinds of things can make us feel good about ourselves?
For me, I feel good after practicing some self-care tricks. Exercising, taking hot showers, all these kind of things help me remember that I am a person worthy of care. Looking at people who are similar to me and embracing their identities also makes me feel proud of my own identity. For example, whenever I go on Instagram and I see a picture of a Muslim person smiling or doing something fun, I feel like I can embrace my Muslim identity!
What can make us feel bad about ourselves?
There are a lot of things, but first thing that comes to my mind is social media!!! Platforms such as Instagram and Facebook allow people to promote the best version of their life and omit any negative experiences, so people can easily feel as though their life is inferior. The Internet can also be used to promote harmful messages and invalidate people's identities. Apart from social media, who we surround ourselves with also has a significant impact on how we view ourselves.
How can we feel better after experiencing situations that bring us down?
If we encounter a negative situation, we can take a break or step away from the situation and practice some self-care! Talk to people you trust, indulge in some yummy treats, do whatever you please!
@featuringme I agree with you about some forms of social media. Nowadays, I only really look at interesting or fun accounts or use forms of social media where I can interact with my family and friends. When I was younger, I used to compare how I looked with other people and be into things like modelling shows. I know it sounds strange, but there was a girl at my school who had thin legs. Although I was also thin, it used to bother me because I thought my legs were chunkier than hers. For this reason, I don't really follow any accounts that have photoshopped pictures and promote looking a certain way nowadays.
@WheresMySquishy I'm sorry you had to go through that! I think for self-acceptance to be promoted, society as a whole needs to advocate for a variety of looks rather than fixating on one 'ideal' image, which is so prevalent on social media and media outlets.
This has been such an amazing GR. The response was so incredible and it was so insightful to hear about a diverse range of experiences and identities. I've loved reading everyone's answers. 🙂
A huge thank you to everyone who participated and helped with this GR, including those behind the scenes @featuringme @Lost_Space_Explorer5 @celestialdreamer @Hozzles @MB95 @Anonymous @wanderingwasp @Remi
Sorry if I've missed anyone.
Here is the question list if anyone wants to participate after we wrap up:
- How can someone explore or connect more deeply with their identity?
- How would you describe yourself? What elements of your identity are important to you?
- What does self-acceptance look like to you? Have you ever accepted or embraced a part of yourself that you previously disliked or weren't comfortable with? Did you learn anything from this?
- What kinds of things can make us feel good about ourselves? What can make us feel bad about ourselves? How can we feel better after experiencing situations that bring us down?
- What tips would you give to someone struggling with self-acceptance?
Goodnight everyone! 🙂
I've absolutely loved being part of this GR as my first one! It's been so insightful and I've learnt so much about other's experiences and perspectives and got so many useful tips for myself too! This chat was exactly what I needed tonight 
hope everyone has a lovely evening
Last Q 
that went so quickly!
What tips would you give to someone struggling with self-acceptance?
If you're struggling w self-acceptance, here are a few things you could do:
- Reach out for help - talk to a trusted friend, family member, doctor or counsellor/therapist
- Self-care! Take a nice long bath, eat some treats, go outside under the sun; these are just a few things you can do to help your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing
- Keep a journal of your strengths - write down hardships you've overcome, goals you've accomplished and attributes about yourself that you like
- Surround yourself with people who will support you for who you are, and will help you out
It's been lovely participating in my first GR tonight, I had so much fun listening to everyone's discussions! Hopefully people will find these tips helpful, and hope you all have a great night
I hope you all have a good night @celestialdreamer @featuringme @Lost_Space_Explorer5! I've learned so much from everyone's experiences and tips. Thanks so much for all your contributions!
The tips I would give someone struggling with self-acceptance:
- Remember that it's okay if you aren't self-accepting all of the time, I like to think that if there's something that's bothering you it's an indication that maybe it's something that requires change or improvement and that's okay and may help you on your journey to self-acceptance, journey being the really key word there!
- Pursue things that make you feel genuinely happy and interact with others that make you leave with a smile on your face – you don't need negative energies in your life.
- Challenge your negative thinking to help you reframe it positively
What tips would you give to someone struggling with self-acceptance?
Some of my tips would be:
- Surround yourself with positive people, and don't be afraid to spend less time with people who are negatively affecting your mental health and wellbeing.
- Listen to uplifting, motivational songs.
- Don't focus on one part of yourself, such as your job. If it's not there any more, it can make you feel bad about yourself. Instead, focus on many different aspects of your identity, such as your relationships, hobbies, values, achievements, challenges you've overcome, personality, etc.
- Don't be afraid to experiment with different groups and interests until you find something that you like.
ahh maybe surround yourself with people that understand and accept you and care about you. If you can't find them where you're at, there are other places they can look, like online 😉 hint hint reachout. Tell them everyone struggles with self-acceptance and it's perfectly normal to be struggling. Oh man coming up with tips is hard, keen to hear what other people say
What tips would you give to someone struggling with self-acceptance?
Be kind to yourself, and try to focus on the things you can change, rather than can't change. I'll always recommend to surround yourself with people with similar identities with you, because accepting yourself can sometimes start by accepting others like you first.
I'm not feeling the best, so I think I'll head off now. So great seeing such an active and wholesome discussion! I'll be sure to read through everyone's replies I missed later, and to see anyone else's replies who might not be on tonight! A big thank you to you all!
