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Feeling Down

I'm feeling really down right now. I've spent two years now applying for job after job after job with no success and only a couple of interviews. Recently I applied for a delivery driver position, which I had not considered up until this point so I decided to give it a shot. To my amazement, they responded within a few hours and I was offered the job and was starting to very next day. I was a little hesitant about it but thought this was my chance to finally make some money and meet some new people. Unfortunately, as I was leaving for my first ever delivery my car broke down and couldn't move at all. As you can imagine, this is not at all ideal and I felt really stressed and had to go and take the food back up for someone else to take it. The shift was meant to be 4 hours and instead, I spent 4 1/2 hours for a tow truck and for someone to come take me home. It really wasn't a great feeling having everything taken away so swiftly like that, the shopowner did give me a pizza that someone hadn't come to pick up but I still didn't feel great. I felt really numb and felt like I wanted to cry but couldn't whenever I thought about it, and I really did not enjoy having to explain it to everyone as well as the mechanic. 

 

So the shop owners had also told me to not worry about the job and that I could come back if I wanted. This happened a week ago and though it was fixed pretty quickly I've been pretty anxious and shaken whenever I've driven since, but I still contacted the manager once it was fixed in hopes of coming back. They got back to me two days later saying they had filled the spot already, at first I was relieved because it meant I would be available at those times, however this afternoon it really hit me and I feel really low. I feel so discouraged about finding a job now, more than ever before and I can't help but feel like I have the worst luck in the world. I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless and I don't know if I can even keep trying to apply for anything. I took a month break right before this and only started applying again 2 days before this happened. So now I feel like I need to keep trying again but whenever I scroll through listings or look at any applications I feel numb and sick and like I can't do it anymore.

Rattata
RattataPosted 18-06-2021 03:25 AM

Comments

 
Anzelmo
AnzelmoPosted 24-06-2021 12:40 AM

Hi @Rattata

 

I hope you are okay, that does sound like a really stressful experience, and don't feel bad or responsible as a lot of this was out of control. I think you handled things well and I hope you are feeling better.

 

Finding a job during COVID can be hard, but assuming your car is okay and you were previously looking at a delivery job, have you considered something like rideshare or food delivery (uber, deliveroo, menulog, ola, etc).

 

Hope you're not too shaken up friend!

 
 
Rattata
RattataPosted 25-06-2021 01:28 AM

Thanks @Anzelmo😊

 

I've been feeling better and have been trying not to blame myself or think about it too much. I don't know if I actually like the idea of being a delivery driver because it feels kind of stressful. I just kind of applied because I was scrolling through a lot of stuff and thought why not and didn't think I would get a response at all, let alone that quickly.

 

I'm not too shaken anymore, thanks to the wonderful people on these forums. 🥰

 
 
 
Anzelmo
AnzelmoPosted 27-06-2021 11:32 AM

Thanks really good to hear.

 

I know some people that like being uber drivers or whatever because you kind of get to choose when to work, and you can decline "offers" for pick-ups and stuff. Not sure if that makes any sense but you have more control over those things if that makes it less pressure for you.

 

Either way, I hope you find a job that you feel comfortable in!

 
ayrc_1904
ayrc_1904Posted 24-06-2021 12:02 AM

Aw @Rattata I'm so sorry to hear that! I can understand how frustrated and upset you must have been 😞 

 

I'm really happy that you've been spending time on yourself though! It's super important to get some rest in the holidays while you can since uni can get really packed too. What kind of things do you do to relax?

 
 
Rattata
RattataPosted 25-06-2021 01:36 AM

Thanks @ayrc_1904 , your understanding really means a lot to me, especially when I didn't feel like anyone around me really understood how much of an impact it had made on me. 🥰

 

Some things I have been doing to relax lately are things like drawing, painting, and playing video games. I get fixated on a different hobby from week to week so right now I'm still stuck on gaming but maybe next week it'll be baking, or maybe even dance.

 
 
 
ayrc_1904
ayrc_1904Posted 07-07-2021 03:31 PM

Hey @Rattata

 

I'm really glad you have great hobbies to relax! My boyfriend has been trying to get me into gaming lately 😂 It's fun but I get tired easily from it for some reason hahaha

 

I recently made scones and it was much simpler than I thought! Super yummy and a great activity to do when you're bored or need distractions 

 

What type of dance do you do?

 
 
 
 
Rattata
RattataPosted 18-07-2021 02:46 PM

@ayrc_1904 Yeah depending on my mood or the game I can get really tired from it pretty quickly too.

Ooo I used to bake a LOT so I'm surprised I've never made scones! I've been making risottos a lot lately but now I'm planning on making sushi soon.

My gf gave each other mystery boxes to make lunch with a couple of days ago. We both had to take photos of our fridge and send them to each other so we could choose ingredients and so that's become a fun activity. It's also gotten my sister who never cooks in the kitchen with me giving her a mystery box too!

 

I used to train in ballet, jazz, and contemporary dance but since I stopped dancing I feel like I've been more into hip hop style dancing. I'm terrible at it and it's not really hip hop at all, more just vibing and feeling the music.

 
 
 
scapegoatedandgaslit
scapegoatedandgaslitPosted 25-06-2021 04:59 AM

I'm sorry that happened.  It is really stressful, but it is not your fault. Maybe that job just wasn't meant to be.  Even though I have been through the worst with my parents the Universe has protected and given me gifts.  Maybe if you think about it that way, that you were being protected from a possibly negative situation, then you will feel better. 

 
Bre-RO
Bre-ROPosted 18-06-2021 11:25 AM

Awww @Rattata that sounds like such an upsetting day 😞 I can just imagine how sad you would have felt waiting for your car to be towed. I'm so sorry that happened. 

 

I remember feeling EXACTLY the same as you. So tired of applying for jobs, so tired of being rejected and wishing I had more options. It was such a hard time. 

 

The thing that got me through it was telling myself that it wouldn't always be that way. I continued studying, doing short courses and workshops and trying. It was bleak at times but it got easier. I also remember having to be really creative with how I made money. I would do so many different things, like dog walking, making resumes for people and other random things. (have you ever tried getting odd jobs on Airtasker? that got me through tough times). 

 

Feeling for you! I hope you can be gentle and kind to yourself. 

 
 
Rattata
RattataPosted 23-06-2021 12:49 AM

Thanks for your support @Bre-RO , it was a long night that's for sure. I've spent the last week taking some time to focus on other things and myself. It's been difficult because things have been particularly hard on me lately. I've taken a step back from applying to jobs at the moment so I can try and enjoy my holiday more before I go back to uni.

 

Unfortunately, it's also going to get harder next semester when applying because my timetable is a lot more packed than I just had but I guess I'm just going to accept the fact I'm going to be in my 20s before I get a job.

I've never looked into Airtasker or anything like that at all before but maybe that's something I can look into. ❤️

 
 
 
Hannah-RO
Hannah-ROPosted 23-06-2021 03:43 PM

Hey @Rattata so lovely to hear from you 🥰

I'm glad you have been taking some time to focus on yourself, it is so important and valuable to do that sometimes especially given everything you've had going on.

What are you getting up to over your holiday?

 

That really sucks that next sem is going to be so packed and make the job hunt so tricky. I always felt like people who have never spent much time applying for jobs don't understand that it can be a full time job in itself - and I am really feeling for you going through this!

Let us know how you go looking into air tasker - I am sure you have lots of wonderful skills that would be useful to others 🥰 

 
 
 
 
Rattata
RattataPosted 25-06-2021 01:19 AM

Hi @Hannah-RO , its great to hear from you too! Thank you so much for your support 😊

I had planned to get outside more and see some friends I haven't talked to for a while, but given the recent covid outbreak in Sydney, a lot of my plans have been cancelled or postponed and I'm pretty anxious about going out.

 

Yeah, people like my dad have always seemed to think that because I haven't gotten a job yet, or haven't even gotten many interviews, that I haven't been applying anywhere. He used to be really on my back about it but thankfully because of the pandemic, he seemed to back off a little. I think he also finally realised that I have been trying, even if he still doesn't understand how hard.

 

I'll be sure to keep you posted if anything starts picking up for me. I might consider applying to become a builder even. 🙃

 

@Hannah-RO I know I've already said this but I'm really going to miss you. I feel like I have been able to connect with you so much without even much interaction. I could say that for a lot of people here but I feel like I really related to a lot of what you've said and experiences of being queer and believing that there needs to be more emphasis on women and queer people in history. 🥰🏳️‍🌈

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
Hannah-RO
Hannah-ROPosted 25-06-2021 02:27 PM

Hey @Rattata 

 

Ah that is so annoying that your plans have been cancelled ☹️ its kind of hard to believe what is going on at the moment. Totally fair enough to be feeling anxious about going out, I organised an online hang with some friends tonight, is that something you could do?

I'm glad to hear that your dad is getting off your back and is starting to realise the struggles of job applications! Its honestly so wild how hard it is, and the job market is still hasn't recovered since covid which has made jobs even more competitive. I feel like I have had this convo with my dad too and he is a bit oblivious and I'm just like m8 come on. So I FEEL you!

You would be an AWESOME BUILDER!!!!!! I hope you do apply, have you had a look at the application? It is a cool role and if you really enjoyed it you could apply to be a mod in future which would be awesome too 😍

 

I am going to miss you too @Rattata ! I love talking to young people who share those passions about representation of women and the queer community it is so important to me and I love that it is so important to you too 💜 And thank YOU for sharing your experiences on the forum, it really does help so many other young people feel they are not alone 🏳️‍🌈😻🤗

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 25-06-2021 03:04 PM

Ahh just jumping in on this convo to agree with @Hannah-RO you would make an AWESOME builder @Rattata!!! 😄

 

Volunteering is a great way to get into work. Or just to feel like you're giving back, learning new things and meeting new people! Although I've never had a real job (it's so hard especially at the moment to find work!) I'm trying to beef up my resume that way... But you're definitely not alone Rattata it's really hard and I'm glad your dad is starting to be more supportive in acknowledging you've been trying so hard! It may feel like a reflection on you when you don't hear back but I promise it's not ❤️ What are you studying at uni again? Sorry if you've already said this

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 25-06-2021 03:07 PM

Ooh also I almost forgot but headspace has something which might help I don't know if you've accessed this before but it's like a work and study support program! Basically they can help with all kinds of things work and study related (like resumes, interview skills, study skills, problems with work/study, etc). And I think you can chat online or over the phone if I remember correctly

 
 
 
 
 
Rattata
RattataPosted 25-06-2021 07:03 PM

@Hannah-RO and @Lost_Space_Explorer5 Oh goodness your words are so nice I'm crying. I don't even really know what to say right now it just feels really nice to not feel alone. It really means a lot to me ❤️❤️❤️

You're both very sweet, thank you for your support for me potentially becoming a builder. I have looked at the application before but at the time I wasn't sure if I would have the mental energy to do it well. That being said I do really think it could be a good learning experience for me and help a lot for the future.

 

@Hannah-RO I might think about doing an online hang out with some people but there are some I don't talk to often and don't really feel comfortable with that right now. But we'll see how it goes 🥰

 

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 I'm studying screen media right now and I'm really hoping that some of the experiences I get from it can help bulk up my resume too. Yeah, I've looked into headspace before a couple of times but don't engage with it as much as do here. 😊

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 25-06-2021 11:15 PM

Aww @Rattata❤️ I'm glad you're not feeling so alone

 

Ooh screen media sounds super interesting! I don't know much about it! Do you do like projects and stuff? 🙂 Is there any particular field you'd want to go into?

 

Also side note- the builder and mod programs are really welcoming and supportive to everyone's needs, there's like no pressure to do it 'well' whatever that means 😅 Heaps of bobs and mods have lived experience and you can be going through stuff while helping others- that's what peer support is all about! Lol anyway my point is if you do want to do it but you're worried about doing it 'well' don't be! I reckon you'd be awesome! 🙂 No pressure though haha it's up to you! ❤️

 
 
 
 
 
Rattata
RattataPosted 25-06-2021 11:38 PM

Thanks @Lost_Space_Explorer5 I'll consider it more and I'm sure I'll apply soon 😊

Yeah! Screen media is pretty interesting and we get to do projects and make things and work with cool equipment. At the moment there are so many different areas we have been focusing on and I don't know which direction I want to go. I started the course because I was interested in film but there are so many different directions I've been exposed to now so I'm excited to see where my path goes. ❤️

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 26-06-2021 10:29 PM

Yeah it's so good to keep an open mind when studying, you never know where you'll end up @Rattata! 🙂

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