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Join an event. Happening today.

Everyone really is leaving me...

😞

 

Yeah.. what the title says

 

My other thread was getting too long so I made a new one, don't mind me

Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 29-07-2020 04:19 PM

Comments (56 pages)

 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 25-04-2021 08:58 PM

I'm sorry WHAT!?!?!?! Since when is there a sloth emoji!?!?! Imma check if my phone has it right this second!! 🦥🦥🦥 HOLEY CRAPPERS!!! This has just changed my life and made me smile SO HARD! I'm actually tearing up. Don't laugh. Idk wtf is wrong with me atm. Emotions are fucked. But this has just made me SO HAPPY!!! Thank you baby 🦥 you have made my night ❤

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 25-04-2021 08:33 PM

Heart ? 🦥 (sloth emoji) @MB95 

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 25-04-2021 05:36 PM
It's just I feel like my lecturer thinks I'm so pathetic so I don't want them to have another reason to think that @Taylor-RO 😞 I'm doing okay today (even though you asked yesterday haha). I've just been trying to get this essay going but yeah it's not going to be done by tomorrow 😞
 
 
 
 
 
Taylor-RO
Taylor-ROPosted 24-04-2021 01:13 PM

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5.

 

I am sorry to hear that you were having some dark thoughts last night. I totally understand how one extension can delay everything else. It sounds like you are at a very stressful part of the semester, so I don't blame you for feeling overwhelmed and panicked. Do you know if you are able to discuss getting an extension for each unit to avoid being behind? 

 

Aside from that, I hope you were able to get some sleep! How are you feeling today? Are you getting up to much? 

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 24-04-2021 01:39 AM
😞 yeah it is @Eden1717 I can use my extensions but I don't feel like I can get everything done if I do that

Thanks @Janine-RO I love the encouragemint hahaha

I've got this essay due Monday that I have been working on all semester and still I haven't written anything because I've been researching so much. And because I've spent so much time trying to do well in psych I'm doing so badly in everything else. Pretty sure I failed my maths test. This stress is bringing up some dark thoughts and I can't sleep 😞 I'm going to fail everything 😞

I do have an extension with my academic plan but then I'll get behind and if I use the extension it makes me weak somehow. I haven't felt like that before I don't know why I'm so anxious
 
 
 
 
 
Janine-RO
Janine-ROPosted 19-04-2021 04:49 PM

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5 , I hope that your week is off to an ok start! Uni (especially the pointy end) can be bloody stressful, you are an incredibly intelligent human who has so much to offer, and I hope you're doing alright. I had to drop down my study load a few times when the work-life juggle became too insane, I really feel for you. I know that some unis make the admin process very painful, but if you are comfortable chatting with some of your course co-ordinators to see if they can help I would really recommend it- I definitely did not always take my own advice with this and pulled many all-nighters, but when I did ask for help I often found that people were surprisingly understanding

 

Sending you lots of internet encourage-mint (sorry, can't resist a terrible pun!)

 

New Encourage Mint Memes | Doi Memes, a Href Memes, Can Do It Memes

 
 
 
 
 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 18-04-2021 03:48 PM

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  uni really is so hard! Sorry you are struggling with it. Is there way you can organize some extensions so not everything is due at the same time? 

 
 
 
 
 
Sophia-RO
Sophia-ROPosted 18-04-2021 03:46 PM

Sorry to hear that you have been feeling panicky and stressed about your upcoming uni assignments @Lost_Space_Explorer5 .Sometimes juggling the pressures of uni can be so tricky. Sometimes there are periods where it feels like everything is due at once. In these instances, knowing that it will feel so relieving to get everything submitted is what helps to motivate me. Is there anything in particular that helps you get through these times?

 

Being able to hide things from your psych sounds like a tricky situation. How do you feel about the fact that sometimes your psych doesn't pick up on your hints when something is wrong?

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 17-04-2021 11:28 PM
Thanks guys 🙂

Okay first Imma vent sorry then I will reply bear with me

I'm freaking out right now because uni is just so much work and I've got this group project that stressing me out I can't communicate with my group members very well because it's all online and I don't understand coding AT ALL, and I've got 3 quizzes/tests next week, and then 2 essays the week after and I'm so behind on everything I can't focus I'm so panicky AHHHH I feel like I can't breathe properly but on the outside I look super chill other than the fact I'm biting my nails

Thanks @MB95 Ugh I don't know why I say I'm okay when I'm not I just felt like what I had to talk about wasn't important and no one cared anyway.. Lol emotions are hella scary. I don't know I think I called too late that's why it was shorter, she was busy. I'm still seeing my psych atm haha. Apparently I'm very good at hiding stuff so sometimes even my psych won't pick up on that somethings wrong. E.g. I'll be really anxious and look perfectly content apparently, or I'll be really hurt and paranoid my psych hates me but sound completely bored with the conversation. And not even realise I'm doing that 😞 Haha no matter how many times someone says they don't want me dead, I can't believe it Smiley LOL My psych says how would I feel if people didn't trust what I said as true and I would feel bad so I really should stop telling people I don't believe them Smiley LOL Maybe if I say I believe people I will 😛 So I believe you... Smiley LOL I think it's working

The thought was Darren I think lol 😛 But you were super close! 3 AM is a very silly time to be awake @MB95 :(! Go to sleep earlier! (easier said than done I know :()

Thanks @Maddy-RO 🙂

Thanks @Eden1717 I'm doing okay today (even though I realise you asked this 5 days ago.. whoops! :()
 
 
 
 
 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 12-04-2021 07:41 PM

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  sorry you had a hard session it is always difficult when we dont feel like we can say what is truly on our minds. how are you doing today? 

 
 
 
 
 
Maddy-RO
Maddy-ROPosted 12-04-2021 11:36 AM

It's good that you were able to realise that your mind was talking smack to you @Lost_Space_Explorer5.  I hope you're feeling a little better today Heart

 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 12-04-2021 03:11 AM

Aww @Lost_Space_Explorer5, my little mini me. You break my heart sometimes. I wish you were different to me and not cursed with the bs mind we have been 😂

 

Why do you think you said you were okay when you weren't today? Like is there maybe something you really wanted to talk about but didn't know how? Or something you didn't want to talk about and were scared she might bring it up or work it out? I often find if I'm really not okay I will try and hide it so hard while also secretly hoping my psych can read my mind and bring it up but then also hoping she doesn't because eww yuck, that's emotions and I don't do well with emotions and being vulnerable. That shit is SCARY! But then if she doesn't notice or bring it up then I get really angry at myself later because I didn't tell her and she didn't notice which means she mustn't care about me and then I cry and hate myself and convince myself she wants me to die and that I should die and then well let's not go there. I'm just trying to show you're not alone and I really hope you're okay because I understand how yuck it is to be in that place. 

 

Was there a reason it was a shorter session? Cause I know that can often make it worse for me and am wondering if it's possibly the same for you? You know, seems we virtually share the same brain! 

 

Also, just wondering, but are you seeing a psych face-to-face at all atm? Or is it just your counsellor on KHL? You don't have to share obviously, but I'm just wondering what supports you have in place atm? Cause I know a bit was changing and am wondering if a face-to-face session might make it a little harder to hide it all and pretend? 

 

I want to let you know that I sure as heck do NOT want you dead. I would NEVER want that. EVER. So don't listen to that bullshit thought!! We all absolutely adore you on here @Lost_Space_Explorer5. You have the biggest heart and greatest dark humour I know and you're my baby sloth and no one wants a dead baby sloth. And if they do, they have serious issues and need serious help, asap! And now I'm rambling because I'm tired as heck. Sorry. Point is. We all think so much of you on here so you tell that thought (what was the name for them again? I can't remember.. for some reason I have Daryl in my head but I know that is totally not what it was 😂.. but also cool with calling him Daryl the Dumbass if you are? Lol) that he is wrong and you have no time for his nonsense tonight!! 

 

I really hope you're okay @Lost_Space_Explorer5. And I hope you're asleep atm cause this is a silly time to be awake. But I hope you were able to be kind to yourself tonight, and that tomorrow you can do something nice for yourself to remind yourself of your worth! I'm happy to brainstorm some ideas with you tomorrow if you like. Just know that you ARE worthy and we all really really reallllyyyyy care about you here!!! Like A LOT. Okay I will shut up now. Sorry for the rant. I just hate you're having such shitty thoughts. Are you feeling safe? Please be kind to yourself 💙

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 11-04-2021 11:04 PM
Thanks guys 🙂
@MB95 I think of sending you guys sloths every time I see anything with sloths on them Smiley LOL

@Eden1717 I'm going okay, mostly, how are you?

I just talked to my counsellor and it was a shorter session than usual and typical me I did that thing where I say I'm okay but I'm not and then cried after the call thinking everyone hates me and wants me dead yada yada the usual bs my mind comes up with 😞
 
 
 
 
 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 06-04-2021 06:46 PM

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  how are you going today?

 
 
 
 
 
Sophia-RO
Sophia-ROPosted 03-04-2021 03:01 PM

It’s so nice to see the supportive relationship that you and @Lost_Space_Explorer5 have @MB95 Heart. I am sorry to hear that you felt sad last night. That must have been pretty difficult to sit with. I hope you are feeling better today. Do you have anything fun planned for this weekend?

 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 02-04-2021 11:28 PM

Don't be sorry for a second @Lost_Space_Explorer5. i would much rather you focus on yourself and remaining safe and doing what you need to do to get through the days ❤ I'm relieved to hear you're feeling okay, and that you are safe. That was just my main concern. I can totally relate to the email regret lol If it helps at all, I am literally in the same sort of position atm. Sent a very similar email to my psych at the beginning of the week and now that my emotions have calmed down a little about it all I'm realising maybe it was a stupid idea to send. But whatever. Sometimes we do dumb shit and I kinda love that you do it too cause it kinda makes me feel a little more human? Or are we just sad messed up non-human beings? Lol Idk. I just love how alike we are and that whenever you post something I'm literally like HOLEY SHIT. SHE GETS ME. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DO. 

 

I completely understand feeling wobbly still. Please be kind to yourself though because you deserve it! Have you got anything much planned for the weekend? I'm sending you strength and sloth cuddles ❤ Actually I saw this sloth video pop up on my FB feed yesterday and I instantly thought of you!! Went to tag you and all and then realised I obviously can't and then got a little sad cause I realised one of the people I see as a close friend is literally someone through a screen I'm never going to get to meet and then I got sad cause I have to leave soon and then I was just a ball of sadness. Lol. Life is wonderful. *cue the sarcasm*

 
 
 
 
 
Taylor-RO
Taylor-ROPosted 02-04-2021 10:35 PM

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5, I totally know what you mean about cats tolerating hugs. I just got a new kitty recently and she isn't really a fan of being picked up or hugged but she is so damn cute, sometimes it is hard to resist.

We are all glad to hear that you are feeling okay now.. though it sucks that you were feeling crap in the first place. It is understandable that pain may have brought on that kind of mood for you. What do you have planned for the Easter weekend?

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 02-04-2021 03:29 PM
Hey @Hannah-RO I'm doing okay and yes my cats *tolerate* being hugged. But strangely enough they don't sit on my lap probably because I wake them up too much for hugs Cat LOL The older one will sit on my mum and sometimes dad though!

@Eden1717 yeah they can.. I'm doing okay today how are you? Sorry I haven't been on your thread I'll try and catch up later today

@MB95 I'm sorry for worrying you, I'm okay. And my counsellor only works on the weekend but I have regrets for sending that email because now I feel okay again. I think it was just my pain that brought on the mood. Like I'm still feeling a bit wobbly but I'm okay. I'll try to catch up on your thread later today too sorry I've been not helpful lately 😞
 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 02-04-2021 12:48 AM

Hearing you loud and clear with the uni @Lost_Space_Explorer5 and I reckon @Eden1717 can relate too! I swear people who manage to keep up or ahead are just not human. 

 

I'm a little worried about your email you sent.. have you heard back from her yet? You don't have any plans do you? And you're right, it's not funny because what your feeling is valid and you shouldn't have to laugh it off but I can relate to the dark humour so also see why you might be laughing. I hope you're okay @Lost_Space_Explorer5. Can you just let us know if you're safe when you have a chance cause mumma sloth is a bit concerned. Do you know what might have bought on this mood? 

 
 
 
 
 
Eden1717
Eden1717Posted 01-04-2021 04:37 PM

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  Moods can be really weird sometimes. How are you feeling today?

 
 
 
 
 
Hannah-RO
Hannah-ROPosted 01-04-2021 04:26 PM

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5 

How are you going today? You were saying you felt really agitated and down yesterday, are you feeling any better now?

Also I want to ask about cat hugs, does your cat let you hug it? My cat likes to sit on my lap and stuff but if I hug her she does not vibe it Cat LOL

 
 
 
 
 
Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lost_Space_Explorer5Posted 01-04-2021 02:43 AM

One doesn't "catch up" on uni stuff @MB95 Smiley LOL, one only reduces the space between how far behind you are behind while it continues full speed ahead

@maryro I did let myself be sad last night because I cried and hugged my cat

@Eden1717thanks 🙂 I don't really think acupuncture is an option for my condition but if it was maybe I would consider it if I got desperate enough 😞

I'm loving how random my mood is at the moment. This morning I was emailing my counsellor to say sorry if I die and now I'm not sleepy at all and finding things funny and I guess energising? Or maybe I'm agitated? Like I'm tapping my feet a lot but I usually do that. I'm still feeling like I'm going to do something not right now obviously but being okay with that. Hahaha I think this is nervous energy. Like I just find my own suffering hilarious at this point. Is that weird?? Also I can't look myself in the mirror anymore cause it makes me feel really weird like I think a bit like I can't recognise myself so that's fun and new, I haven't felt like that for a while anyway. Hahaha Smiley LOL Sorry I don't know why I'm finding this funny it's not funny this is just how I cope

 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 31-03-2021 08:32 PM

How are you going @Lost_Space_Explorer5? Did you end up catching up on your uni stuff? 

 
 
 
 
 
MB95
MB95Posted 29-03-2021 11:39 PM

Hahahaha that is gold!! 😂

I forgot about that movie! Now I want to watch it lol 100% how life is going right now. 

 

Goodluck with the uni catch up - I had a few 2am and 4am nights last week and it killed me! Try not to stay up too late with it, you'll end up just being a zombie like me 😂

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