Not sure what to do

It's totally fine @Lost_Space_Explorer5. There is absolutely no need to apologize and I 100% get it! You're NOT a horrible person for thinking it! The rejection feelings will be coming from our good mate attachment and I do really appreciate you thinking of me. I'm not gonna lie, I kinda really liked that it was just the two of us there for a bit too lol I did actually reccommend it to RO during a study thing I participated in.. like to be able to have more one on one private chats that were more live, kinda like FB? Cause I always feel terrible when I miss peoples posts and they've seemed like they've really needed me. Like yours tonight.. I'm so sorry! I wasn't ignoring you, I was online but replying to it very slowly cause i got distracted with my housemate! Idk if @Janine-RO maybe knows anything about it? But it would just be such a cool feature to have cause I guess everyone clicks differently on here and sometimes we do just want that one on one connection with the people we've learnt to grow and trust? Idk. So I can see where you're coming from and there is absolutely no need to apologize! I felt it too 😂

And @Eden1717 please don't stop replying to my posts. I LOVE hearing your input and always find your insight so helpful!! She definatly wasn't referring to you at all, it was another thread completely but the only way she was able to reach out to me in that way I guess. Like she mentioned, we both have REALLY STRANGE issues with attachment. I'm sure you've picked up on it with our conversations around me and my psych 😂 So I know that won't be news to you lol But just know you're 100% welcome here and I truly value your input!! Speaking of which... $900 an hour for a paychiatrist!?!?!?! I thought $400 was rediculous!!! I'm not entirely sure if this is against guidelines or whatever so please don't respond if you're not comfortable answering.. but if you don't mind me asking, how much do your sessions cost with the psychiatrist? And like is there any funding you can get to help? Sorry.. I wouldn't even know where to look 🙃 

Also, I'm sorry what!?!?!?! @Lost_Space_Explorer5 You killed a cactus?!?!?! Now there's a record. 🤣 Imma report you to the Guinness Book of World Records! So yeah.. maybe lets not get a plant.. I reckon we bake brownies instead! And by the sounds of things I reckon you could do with some nice comfort food? What do you think? 

Also.. I'll update you on my day tomorrow cause I felt it was more important to respond to everything else tonight. It was a pretty big day emotionally, hence why I tried to distract myself with dinner with my housemate! I'm just beyond exhausted but now that I've caught up here I'm gonna go crash! It sounds like it's been a big day for everyone and we could all do with a good nights sleep!! Chat tomorrow 😊

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  sorry I meant it is fine like don’t feel bad about it. I am struggling a little with my words atm 

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  It is fine I am not offended or anything. 

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  if you mean me I have been on this thread for months lol but I can leave you both to it. 

@MB95We have a guest on our other thread hahaha (intruder alert!!!) 😛 (just kidding) (also a little teeny bit sad cause I was oddly attached to that being mostly our thread) (Yes I'm a horrible person for thinking that) How are you going today? How was the placement? Did you manage to call your psych in your break (if in fact you got a break!)?

Edit: For the record, I didn't seriously mean that , everyone should be able to jump in anywhere in the forum because that's what RO is about! I know I always butt in on people's threads hahaha 😞 Sorry for saying that guys please forgive me 🥺

@MB95  Yeah I mean it is hard private psychiatrists are indeed expensive but it depends where you live and how many there are in Sydney and places where there are more of them they seem to be a bit cheaper where I live there is a major shortage and they are be anywhere up to $650 per hour. But I heard one in my area was charging like $900 per hour for a while. It is not fun and lots of people end up not going when they need because it is too expensive. But yeah it depends on the psychiatrist some can bulk bill and sometimes private health can cover some of it. But yeah idk it is up to you but don’t not see one just because of the money you can always go once and ask them what they think they could do to help you and if you don’t like their answer not go back. 

Hmm.. I'm not actually sure to be honest.. I might have a chat with my psych about it when we have a session next week and see if she knows anything. I'm pretty sure we've established there's no one here I can see and it's gonna have to be via Telehealth so I might ask her what the prices are like cause her and my GP are the ones setting that up..

Yeah, it sucked lol. But I got away quick enough that she didn't realise what I was talking about cause I just stopped and got all confused with my psych lol I was just so thankful she didn't ask who I was talking to when I went back cause I SUCK at lying! I think she could tell it was a serious conversation and knew not to ask.

Hmm.. maybe not.. what about a succulent? Apparently they are impossible to kill? Or have you managed that @Lost_Space_Explorer5? 🤣

They. All. Die. You would be sending a plant to an early death. Could you really live with that, @MB95?!! HAHHA, omg really? I guess I just understand the struggles of asking as well so I say ambiguous stuff like that 'what does my schedule look like'! HAHA oh nooo with your uni friend walking up, right when asking about hospital HAHA ripp. Ah yeah I understand I'm lucky I'm still at home! If you've got enough set aside, you should defs spend it on yourself! Are there any low cost psychiatrists you could see (like apart of government run places)? Or is there any kind of scheme you could get into?The psychiatrist I'm seeing apart of my treating team was a whole year free because it was for people coming out of hospital? But now I'm getting the boot (being discharged) I'm gonna have to start forking out all my money to see a private psych 😭 hehe

Nah I didn't.. like I'm assuming I was meant to have one but I was so scared to ask lol I'm funny like that. I feel like I don't deserve common bloody things like that so I don't ever go or ask unless someone brings it up.. I just feel weird asking. It's dumb I know but it's just me. I always get scared they will get angry at me 😂 

I reckon I'll sleep like a baby cause I've been struggling to hold on the last few hours! Trying to keep myself awake a little longer but I'll be gone soon, I can feel it lol These eye balls are getting heavy! 

YOU ARE THE BEST @Lost_Space_Explorer5 !!! I didn't even think about asking what my 'schedule looks like'. OMG that is genius!! THANKYOU!!!! That way I can also tell my psych really early if I have to cancel. I really don't want to cause I need to talk to her but I also don't want to annoy my placement person or waste my psychs time! Seriously, thankyou!!!! That's such a brilliant idea!!!! 

And it's totally fine.. it gave me a laugh lol I also did something similar the other day.. I was at uni and didn't want anyone seeing or hearing me on the phone to my psych so I went and sat in my car. Turns out reception is SHIT in the car park and it cut out about 3 times. I eventually gave up and moved to sit closer to uni.. shat bricks the ENTIRE time but everytime my psych heard someone pass she asked if I was okay so it kinda worked out in the end.. till my uni mate walked up and I had to bolt. Of course it was right while she was asking me about going to hospital. I have the WORST luck 😂 So I totally get hiding the phonecalls and having it backfire ahahahahha 

Yeah, I managed to get onto AusStudy when I lost both my jobs so it's definately helping! There just isn't a whole lot left once I pay bills and I feel like I don't deserve to spend it on myself? Idk. 

That used to be my issue so I'm kinda surprised they're still alive lol We'll see how long it lasts.. you should buy a small plant and we can make a plant club! Ahahaha 

Hey @Janine-RO 👋 Thanks for the message! I love when I get messages from you, it always makes my day 😊 I also bought some new plants on the weekend and it made me think of you!! I need to post some pics and show you - I now have 5 in my room and am growing basil, spinich, tomato and capsicum as well! It's kind of exciting when they start sprouting!! Sorry, had to share my plant news! Umm.. placement is just for a week this time round cause it's just an observational one. 

It was interesting to say the least @Lost_Space_Explorer5 ... my practice educator wasn't there and the person that was going to do some stuff with me never showed up so it was kind of awkward. I just did a lot of reading about mobility aids and assistive technologies and played around with a few things. I'm just exhausted now.. so NOT used to the 6:30am wake ups - YUCK! 😂 And I didn't take a break cause I was too scared to ask if I was allowed one or not lol So I was starting, hence why I stuffed my face with pasta as soon as I got home lol And am probs going to crash any second cause I'm crazy tired! I'm hoping tomorrow will be more interesting cause the OT is meant to actually show up tomorrow 😂🤞

@Eden1717 I get what you mean.. and I think thats probably why I'm also a bit hesitant cause they sure as shit are not cheap!!! I'm struggling a bit atm financially seems I'm not working so idk if I'll even be able to afford it. My psych hasn't mentioned a cost yet so I'm a little worried. But from having a google they look hella expensive! 

Also.. I need some advice.. I am meant to have an appointment tomorrow with my 'back up psych' cause mine is away and wanted her to check in on me to see how I'm going with placement. But I'm so scared to ask if I'm allowed a break on placement and if I can go at the time of my appointment?! 🙃 We booked it for around lunchtime to make it easier but I didn't have a break today so don't know if I will tomorrow.. I feel like I really need the appointment but I also don't want to look like I'm taking personal calls on placement? Idk what to do? Any advice guys? I know it's stupid but it's stressing me out! 

Hey @MB95 ! Just wanted to wish you luck for the placement, I hope it all goes well for you today 🙂 How long is it for? 

@MB95  Yeah my psychiatrist wanted me to do it but it was like $100 and I didn’t have the money at the time so I never ended up doing it. And you can have expectations lol idk I just feel like people expect a lot from psychiatrists but they actually can’t do that much when I think about it. 

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  Yeah the test isn’t a 100% certainty anyway. 

Haha @Lost_Space_Explorer5 yeah from memory the test is a couple hundred which is why I have decided to put it off for now given I'm not working and also just flat out don't wanna do medication 🤣 I think it's called something like a myDNA test? Have a google and see what comes up! Pretty sure that's what it was called.. 

Nice! Were you watching anything today? Or just staring at the roof? I know I do that sometimes lol 

I'm most worried about having a panic attack cause my anxiety has been pretty full on the last few days.. or stuffing something up!! Or being asked something on the spot and not being able to answer it.. my recall is REALLY bad, especially when I'm like this so I just don't want to look stupid or sound likr I don't know what I'm doing 🙃 

And yeah, it's the assistive technologies one!