Not sure what to do

Congratulations on receiving a job offer through your placement @MB95. That is really awesome and definitely something that you should be proud of! It's a shame that you didn't get to discuss your journal entries within the session, but you can always discuss these next time you see your psych.

I am sorry to hear about the situation you have been put in lately with your housemate. It sounds like a really difficult and uncomfortable position to be in. I think you and Lost_Space_Explorer5 have pretty much covered most of what I can say lol! I do not think that you should be paying more and that it should remain an even split. Just because they were away for a period of time does not mean that they aren't liable for the usage ! This is particulaly true as some of the bill's charges are service charges, which do not change and are charged because the service is active (so they should be payng their portion of this anyway!). They should definitely pay their way, especially if they were being a bit reckless with the electricity towards the end! It can be hard with splitting bills, especially electricity bills as they do not often have the usage breakdown. I would definitely ring up your electricity company though to see how they can help you out, as they may be able to send a detailed breakdown (or even a breakdown for different time periods). This way you can compare the usage from the different time periods from when it was you alone and after they came back and went usage-crazy!

It can be really hard to stick up for yourself, especially when the person you are going to confront likes to argue their point. I think it would be a good idea for you to stick to your guns with this though, as you are not in the wrong (that's if you feel comfortable doing that!). It might be a good idea to stick to firm boundaries with this housemate from here on out as it seems like she can be unfair towards you and the other housemate at times. Setting some boundaries now, might be helpful if there are any other issues in the future. Hopefully this is helpful!

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣 I CAN'T!!!! I love this so much!!! It's so brilliant I don't even have words lol I'd be shaking at the knees ahaha If I shout you flights do you wanna come fight the battle for me?! LOL You can kick her out and take her room if you like? Sounds like you'd be a much better housemate!! Then we could play pictionary in person lol

And no it doesn't.. but I have thought about calling the electricity company to see if I can get some sort of report to show how much we used and when to prove to her what a difference it makes when you don't run air cons 24/7 etc. Idk, I don't wanna be a bitch but I am also so sick of her shit. She just has no respect for others and I cannot stand people like her at all. I feel like I'm quite genuine and easy going and will always do right by people yet it always just screws me over. I've given into her shit enough and I just don't feel like this is fair! 

As much as I LOVE and appreciate your advice and support I'm also hoping some of the adults like @Janine-RO might also see this and reply. Cause I feel like you and I are twins and I don't know if we're missing something here?! 😂 Like they seem more adult than us so might understand how bills work more lol I mean everywhere else I've lived we've always evenly split but who knows! Maybe some people do things differently which is why I wanna hear everyones opinions! I get it sucks paying rent and bills when you're not home but isn't that what being an adult is all about?! 😂 #adultlifeSUCKS 

What the heck, she sounds so selfish! I know, I hate conflict too 😞 Don't let her get to you. The points she makes do nothing towards the actual argument... They're more of a cop out. Maybe say: "I'm only paying 'X' and that's final, because that's what's fair and what we agreed on. I don't see how you going home changed the fact you spent all day using up the electricity during the time the electricity bill covers. I would be happy to pay if this wasn't the case, and you were gone the entire time. I'm sorry but I don't want to discuss that further. I hear you're upset, but sharing a house with someone is a role that requires mutual respect and responsibility. If you can't handle that, then maybe you should reconsider your current circumstances. *mic drop* *walk away before she can make a comeback and hide in your room* HAHAH maybe not so good advice..

Thanks @Lost_Space_Explorer5! I just don't know what to do and she is making me feel like a horrible person but if I was in her shoes I would have still expected to pay. Like fair enough if she wasn't here at all but she was and she runs everything when she's here. Like she'll run the air cons when it's fucking cold outside!!!!!! And she'll leave all the doors open while they're running!!! And then she doesn't turn stuff off when she leaves the house, I have to go round after her and turn it all off like her mother 😔 I'm just over it. 

She also told me 'it's not my problem you couldn't go home'. Like I'm sorry but that is such a heartless thing to say! I had sick family at home and so badly wanted to be with them during these silly times but physically couldn't cause the boarders were shut. I don't know why but that comment just made me so angry. It's not like I exactly chose to stay here. 

I'm just scared to stand my ground cause I usually give in cause I HATE conflict and it makes me so uncomfortable whereas she lives for drama. Like anywhere she can pick it or find it she will. I gave in with our rent during COVID and ended up paying an extra $50/wk to keep her happy. But I feel like I've given in enough. 

Like she never cleans up after herself or helps with anything around the house. She didn't offer to help with the gardens. And myself and my new housemate made tacos the other night and asked if she wanted to join us. She didn't wanna come grocery shopping and said she'd give us some money later, she didn't. And then she sat in her room the whole time and came out once it was cooked, ate it and went back to her room. Didn't even say thankyou. 

Ugh. Sorry. I'll stop it there. I'm just in a mood right now! She makes me so angry but then makes me so nervous and sick because she makes me feel like I'm the bad guy. I just don't know what to do. 😔

So I wasn't going to bother posting on here but I feel like I kind of need some advice and seems you guys don't personally know me I'm hoping you'll be able to help and not just say what I want to hear.. it's a bit random but it's really stressing me out so figured there's no harm in asking! 

Basically, when COVID started myself and my other two housemates all lost our jobs. They both went home whereas the boarders to my state were already closed so I couldn't go home even if I wanted. And I did want too. So it wasn't easy. I had lost both my jobs and couldn't get onto Centrelink at the time so was beyond stressed for money. Anyway, long story short I was at uni all day everyday and then when I was at home I barely used any electricity because I was trying to be conscious and do the right thing by myself and housemates to avoid a huge bill when we had no incomes! I legit had like one light and one fan on for a max 2hrs each day, if that! Actually, I slept with my fan on!!

Anyway... we've just got our electricity bill and it's not too bad but our youngest housemate thinks I should be paying for most of it cause I didn't go home and they weren't here. Like I totally get where they are coming from and if I'd been using electricity then yes, I'd offer to pay more. But the thing is that I pretty much wasn't here either so wasn't using anything. And when they were here they were non stop running air cons and leaving lights and fans on when they went out 😡 (pet hate!!!). So I feel like that is 100% where the bill has come from. Idk. I just feel like it's so unfair and that we should be splitting it regardless cause we have all been struggling and I was doing the right thing by them by not using electricity. 

So.. my question is, what would you guys do? Like what are your thoughts? I'm just so confused and don't know what to do. It's giving me so much anxiety and I just feel sick. I tried to stand up for myself but our youngest housemate is a complete self centred bitch and had a go at me and was so rude as usual so I don't really know what to do. 

I just wanna know how you guys work bills.. like do you all just split them regardless of whether you've been home or not at the time? Like I just don't quite get it. You can't go on a holiday for a few weeks and expect to not pay bills can you? Idk. Please help!!! 

Just going to tag some people on this thread who I think are a bit older and might have experience with house shares.. please be completely honest! I will not be offended or upset in any way, I just want to know if I'm being reasonable or if I'm completely in the wrong. Just not sure what I should be doing! 

@Janine-RO @Taylor-RO @Andrea-RO (won't show me who else is on this thread 😂) But if anyone has some advice they can share I'd REALLY appreciate it!!! Thankyou!!! 

@MB95  That is good I am glad things have gone well for you today. 

Thanks @Eden1717 and @Janine-RO ❤

I appreciate the support. She was amazing about it and we briefly talked about it but decided not to go too far into it cause I was having a good morning (I was offered a job where I had my placement!!) and we didn't want to ruin it!! When I'm feeling good it's best to just let me enjoy it lol So at least she now knows how I was feeling and we'll work on it eventually when the time is right. 

Hey @MB95  - good on you, that's a big step to take, but it sounds like it could be a really productive thing for you. I'm sure it took a heap of courage to send that email - from what you've said here, you have a really good relationship with your psych, and giving her more insight into how you're feeling in those moments should hopefully be something that's really useful for you guys. Well done in taking that leap! 

@MB95  good luck I hope the note opens new and useful communication paths for you and your psych. 

I just sent my psych an email with some of my journal attached. I feel sick. Not sure if I should have done that or not but there's no taking it back now. 🙃

Yeah she is which totally sucks. I just wish they'd open already!! Like honestly, where we are there are no cases and haven't been in forever so there is literally no reason to be keeping shit shut!!! The schools are open so why the hell aren't the bloody universities!?!?!?! It's really pissing me off!!!!! 

She does do video calls I think but we just do phonecalls. I think she knows how much more anxiety the video calls would give me..

Thanks for jumping in @Taylor-RO 😊

My appointment is at 9am tomorrow so I haven't got too much time to think about it.. 

I read over the bit I was thinking of showing her and I think it would help in the way she'd get an insight into how I really felt in the moment when I was triggered? But idk. I'm scared because we haven't really talked much about it cause she doesn't want to go into the trauma therapy until we are back face to face. So I'm just scared to show her cause it feels weird opening up to her about it but then potentially not being able to talk about it? But I really want to talk about it!!! I'm starting to finally feel like I'm ready!!! I'm so over this stupid virus making life so hard. Like seriously, neither of us have the virus so why can't we just do a session in person!?!?! 😭

You really think so @Lost_Space_Explorer5 ? Like I kind of want to cause I think it'll help but I also feel really silly for doing it? Idk. Like I mentioned my psych in it too which kinda worries me. I'm just not entirely sure how I feel about it yet.. 🙃

I just really want to go back face to face already 😭

Hey guys,

I'm just wondering if anyone has ever shown their psych a snippet from their journal? And if so, how they felt about it?

Idk. My psych knows I much prefer to write things out so I often send her emails (or write letters when we are face to face) and a few weeks ago she said I could even just send her stuff from my journal if I wanted too. I'm not so sure though because it's hella personal. 

Just wondering though cause there is some stuff in there about the things that triggered me on placement and how I reacted which I kind of really want her to know so we can try work on it but I don't know how to tell her? 

I'm considering sending her a photo of it but also feel like that's just super weird?!?! Idk. If anything, placement has motivated me to really try and get my shit together so while I'm feeling this way I kind of want to do whatever I can.. 

I keep going through the motions of wanting her help and not wanting her help but right now I feel like I just need to suck it up?

Yeah it does @Lost_Space_Explorer5

My housemate has only been here for about a week and a half @Andrea-RO but she's great! My other housemates drive me crazy so it's nice to finally have someone who cleans and uses initiative lol We seem to really get along despite the huge age gap which is awesome! 

Really? See I just completely shut off and want to disappear without anyone knowing.. @Lost_Space_Explorer5. And there is nothing wrong with you!!! You can bring her up as much or as little as you like. You know there is ZERO judgement from me and 200% understanding when it comes to attachment 🤣 

I am glad to that you've worked out what sound like some pretty effective strategies to keep safe @MB95  

I'm so glad to hear how friendly you are with your housemate! have you known each other long? It's really really fantastic when you can make friends with the people you live with, and it's so important to have people who can be a little bit of a support network - even if you're not super close 🙂