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Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Jess1-RO


I came in to work today, so I have been able to distract myself a bit. Now that I am done for the day, I am finding it hard to cope.


I do find it helpful to post on the forums but i also feel like I am being a burden on everyone here.


I really wish I had some professional support so that I could work through things, but after being abandoned twice, I don’t think that I will ever go back. On top of it all, the diagnoses of Aspergers and ADHD make things worse for me. 


Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hiya - I definitely feel you on that one @skyfireinferno99, finding the right psych/counselor to talk to can be scary, and also a little annoying, especially if you've had people before that haven't tackled things in a useful way for you - kind of like dating... But maybe if you have the desire to have someone like that in your life again to talk face to face with it might be a good time to try someone new? Just like with dating, there are plenty of fish in the sea and maybe there's a psych around the corner for you that you'll click with Smiley Happy


You are also 100% not a burden to any of us - we come here by choice and we care about each other by choice! We've all felt like we should keep our negative thoughts to ourselves at some point, and all felt the benefit of support through sharing - so never feel like we don't want to hear how you're going! <3

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @skyfireinferno99 and well done for going into work today!!

How's your evening going?


Please know that you are a gift - we are glad to have you on the forums, and glad that we can be a place for you to find support. Smiley Happy

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @skyfireinferno99. It 's so good that you feel that work is a good distraction for you but I am sorry you're feeling that you'd like to get some professional support and feel that you can't. 


Feeling abandoned would definitely make it hard to want to seek out more support but just know sometimes it can take seeing a few different people to find the right fit for you. I know this can be frustrating but once you find the right person, it will be worth it Heart In the meantime we are all here to listen and support you as best we can.


You mentioned that being diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD is making things worse for you? Was there anything in particular about it that is making things hard or is it that you feel unsupported at the moment? I only ask because maybe some of our members will be able help with dealing with the experience of being diagnosed and getting help.


Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Rose_Harley


Thanks for all the kind words.


It's really annoying when I put in all the effort and then they ended up leaving. I found the right people twice and they both ended up leaving. I had also tried two other psychs after that but it didn't work out with them and I felt like they didn't listen to me. I felt that what I am going through was being invalidated, and that was the reason I stopped with them.


I don't think that I can go back to professional help again unfortunately (the abandonments have had a pretty big impact on me). They promised me that they wouldn't leave me and help me to get to the other side but that didn't happen. 


Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @letitgo


Thanks for that. It's been going ok. As usual, I am having a hard time distracting myself from how bad things are. I wish I knew how to get out of this mess. I want to have a meaningful life, I have my whole career ahead of me and I don't know how I will cope if my health keeps getting worse.

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Erin-RO


Abandonment is one of the worst things to be feeling. It's hard when that has happened so many times (twice with my psychs and a lot of times in my personal life). I found the right psychologists twice and it was working out. Things were improving and I felt that I was getting my life back on track, but it went downhill once they abandoned me. I don't think that I will ever be able to go back to seeking professional help again. The risk of being abandoned outweighs the benefits that will come out of it.


The diagnosis is making things worse for me. No one in my life is supportive about it. I have always known that I am different and I am not normal like other people are. Now I have answers and it does give me closure, but it's still hard. Everything about the diagnosis is hard. I am meant to see a psychiatrist later this week so that they can sort out medication, but everything else is hard. Everyday things in life are too big of a struggle for me and it takes a lot of energy to do something simple. If I had my psych with me, I would have been able to cope a bit better, but that's not possible anymore.

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

That sounds like such an awful feeling to experience @skyfireinferno99. It makes sense that you would be reluctant and unsure if you could ever work with a psych again. Reaching out to us here, sharing your experience and seeking support is really powerful though and you should be really proud of yourself. It's a big step forward for you. Especially with everything you've been through.


I am really sorry that you feel no one in your life is supportive about your diagnoses. That must be really hard. Do you think it's a lack of understanding about what it means for you? 


Hopefully once you see your psychiatrist and they sort out your medication things won't be so hard for you, but we are always here to listen and support you through this Heart


Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey @Erin-RO


Thank you.


Yeah it's awful feeling like this all the time. That is the reason I work so much, it's my escape. On the other hand, I am pretty burnt out too, and I have been losing my momentum at work.


I have tried explaining how things are for me, now that I have the diagnosis. I read books and research papers on it to understand it more, so that I could explain it to others. I tried talking, but no one responds to my messages or they just stop replying when I open up to them. They say that they will be there for me, but they end up leaving me. I know it takes a lot of energy to deal with me and I don't blame them. I guess this is how it's meant to be for me. 


I did all I could, but it wasn't enough. No matter what I do, nothing improves.

Re: TW: I am having a hard time dealing with life

Hey there @skyfireinferno99


It's great that you're able to find an escape with your work. It sounds like you really enjoy your job Smiley Happy Burnout can definitely be tricky to deal with, especially on top of other things that are happening. I know you've mentioned that self-care hasn't worked for you in the past, but are there any activities that you enjoy doing as a break? For example, taking some time to paint something. It can be good to have an activity that we do outside of work or other responsibilities to help recover from burnout, what do you think? This article here also has some advice on burnout, if you're interested in reading Smiley Happy


I'm sorry to hear that people you message for support aren't there for you. It can be challenging to open up to others and disheartening when they don't respond. Did you find reading books and the research you did helpful? 


I know that you mentioned your face-to-face supports, but have you found online counseling helpful in the past? 


I am finishing with ReachOut this week, say good-bye here. I'll miss you all!