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TW: Some I knew died and someone else I know has anxiety that is affecting me

Hi. I have not posted nor been active on these forums in quite a long time. I took a break because I could not handle all the posts I was reading and found I was being triggered. But since my break I have been doing absolutely great and life has been going well. Recently it feels like some stuff is making it all go down hill.

 

Firstly - someone I knew as a family friend, young girl very recently committed suicide. I knew her, coached her, talked to her and had family holidays with their family. I remember just last Christmas sitting on the couch having a conversation with her. It is so sad and the funeral is very soon. I have been randomly crying at different times during the day and just feeling awful about it. Smiley Sad It's just so sad. 

 

Secondly - A few weeks ago I had a big family stir up fight with my dad and sister. I was being physically abused by my dad and had a situation where I felt like they were both ganging up on me. There was even a situation where I was very distressed and tried to leave but I was forced to stay in a room while I was spoken down to and threatened. This isn't the first time something like this has happened but it had been a long time since it had happened like this. Short story - I don't want to have anything to do with my dad and yet my sister has a close relationship with him. He comes over once a week for dinner and then randomly throughout the week sometimes. I don't want to see him. I am civil and kind when he is over but I honestly just always want to leave or stay in my room. I don't think my sister understands that I don't want to be involved with him in my life right now.

 

Thirdly - My sister is having issues at work but is coming home every day complaining, saying she is tired and stressed and saying that she has been having really bad anxiety recently. But to be honest, her negative mood has been going on for months. She says she loves her job but literally complains about all the shit she has to deal with every day. I am getting really frustrated at hearing about all these issues. And when she gets home she just sits on the couch and sleeps. Her room is trashed, she does not clean up after herself and is barely eating. If anything I would say she is depressed. I don't know what to do because at the moment it feels like I have to do everything in order to keep the house clean and she has no motivation. On the weekends she will literally lay in bed all day and not leave her room unless she absolutely has to just playing on her phone. And she has been saying that she feels sick all the time and has muscle aches and pains and headaches. Well no kidding - are you even eating or exercising or anything? I don't know how to deal with this because I feel like she is bringing me down. I worked so hard to turn my life around and now all this shit is happening. It is getting to the point where I am just angry being in the same room as her and have been thinking about moving out. Yet at the same time I want to support her because she is obviously struggling. I don't know what to do. She is around 6 years older than me.

 

Yes - I am getting support from a counselor I just can't always get in contact with them and I just need people I can talk to and vent to. 

Re: TW: Some I knew died and someone else I know has anxiety that is affecting me

Hey there @mspaceK , 

Go you for doing what you needed to do with having a break from the forum -glad it was helpful. 

 

Sorry to hear about all the things happening in your life- sounds really hard. We're definitely here to talk to and vent. 

It must be rough to live with your sister going through all of that at the moment - is she open at all to getting help for her low energy/ mood or physical health problems? Maybe seeing a GP might help her? 

 

I can understand why you're thinking about moving out. Do you spend time away from home - socialising with other people, and doing activities you enjoy? That might help for you to get space from the vibes at home. 

 

Glad you've got a counsellor you can go to talk to - hopefully you'll be able to keep getting support from them around the death of your family-friend, and everything going on with your family. 
Thinking of you Heart

 

Re: TW: Some I knew died and someone else I know has anxiety that is affecting me

Thanks @gina-RO . Yeah, I spend time at my boyfriend's house which is good. Other than my boyfriend I don't really have other friends that I see and spend time at their houses. Kind of depressing but I don't really have close irl friends that I see. Unless you count people that I consider friends at work but only associate with at work. I'm going to be speaking to my counselor tomorrow hopefully. 

Re: TW: Some I knew died and someone else I know has anxiety that is affecting me

Hey @mspaceK I'm sorry you're having a hard time at the moment, and I am very sorry about your loss of a family friend. It can be really hard when we are experiencing some crappy situations and don't have many friends to really talk about it. It is great that you have your boyfriend's place you can go to if you need a bit of a break from your home situation. Have you spoken to him much about what you're going through with your dad? 

 

Living with someone with a potential mental illness is so hard! It's so great that you care about your sister enough to notice her changes in mood and health. My mum has bipolar and I often find myself getting frustrated when she does things that don't help her situation. I have tried talking to her but sometimes the other person isn't always ready to listen. Like @gina-RO said, maybe a GP or a counsellor could help your sister. How do you think she would respond if you talked to her about your worries? 

 

I hope you're doing okay at the moment. We're always here to listen. 

Re: TW: Some I knew died and someone else I know has anxiety that is affecting me

Hey @Libellule @gina-RO ,

 

I spoke to a counselor today for an hour about all this stuff. I've been breaking down crying over the death of this girl I knew and it's been causing me headaches and a little trouble sleeping. But I'm okay. 

 

In regards to talking to my bf I have a bit and that helps. And i hung out with him and his friends for games the other day which was really good. 

 

I also decided to be pro-active and clean up a bunch of stuff because I feel better with things being neat and tidy. And I'm organising stuff for my work and even working on writing in my free time and playing games and reading books to pass the time. So far okay. My sister is sick atm and needs to rest so this weekend it looks like she'll need to rest and hopefully go see a doctor. I don't think I should be suggesting a counselor to her atm. I feel like that would result in a huge argument. Anyways. 

 

The hardest thing has been coping with this sudden death. I still can't believe it.

Re: TW: Some I knew died and someone else I know has anxiety that is affecting me

Hey there @mspaceK, how are you going today?

 

Coping with sudden deaths can be difficult, it's hard when someone we know passes away suddenly. It's absolutely okay to be upset and to cry over what's happened. When you spoke to your counselor yesterday, did they give you any suggestions on how you can cope with these feelings? If you're interested, ReachOut has some articles and stories from other young people about grief that might provide some ways to help cope with your loss.

 

It sounds like you've been doing some great distraction and self-care things lately, spending time with friends (or boyfriends Smiley Happy) and organising things can be great ways to help us cope and distract from negative feelings. While your sister is resting this weekend, will you be up to much?

 


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Re: TW: Some I knew died and someone else I know has anxiety that is affecting me

Hi @Jay-RO ,

 

I'll have a look at those articles. 

 

I don't remember my counselor talking to me about any strategies cause we just talked about how it was sad and then I talked about my sister and the problems that have been happening. I did a whole heap of cleaning and already feel better having things cleaned and organised. I am finding myself getting really bored and not really knowing what I am doing with myself outside of work. But I have also been procrastinating things I could or should be doing. And I have been playing alot of video games online role-play type stuff to pass the time. I can feel myself kind of in a slump. *sigh*

Re: TW: Some I knew died and someone else I know has anxiety that is affecting me

I'm not feeling okay @gina-RO @Jay-RO . I feel sick and can't sleep. I've been crying and having horrible visions about people close to me dying. I have so much on my mind and i still gotta work and earn money tomorrow. Well, today. I feel like absolute shit. 

Re: TW: Some I knew died and someone else I know has anxiety that is affecting me

Hey @mspaceK I'm sorry to hear last night was really difficult for you. How are you feeling today?

Re: TW: Some I knew died and someone else I know has anxiety that is affecting me

Hi @Erin-RO ,

 

I'm still feeling really shitty and a bit unmotivated.