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Trying to cope with constant anxiety and stress

hey. I'm still here...which isn't something I saw happening over the past couple months. I don't want to get into details but I know that some of you know that I have been struggling a lot this year and did get to the point where I almost gave up my life on different occasions and I also got admitted to hospital for my own safety.


I suppose this is kind of a reflection post. At the start of the year I had a traumatic experience involving family members and abuse. I'm still having nightmares about it and anxiety when I'm around certain people. It wasn't a one-off incident btw, more of an accumulation of things growing up too but this most recent one has really been effecting me. It's the end of the 5th month since it happened. :/ 


I haven't been having a very good relationship with my sibling as I am constantly angry or annoyed with her and there feels like disconnection and tension all the time too. Being at home is frustrating because of my living situation with mess and cleaning which I find it hard to deal with because clutter makes me agitated and I am sick of cleaning up after people all the time.


Also earlier this year someone I knew and who I taught and was a close family friend died by suicide and knowing that that could have been me and that I wanted it to be me has been hard to come to terms with. I haven't really been eating or sleeping properly either. 


Over the past 2 months I have also been very sick and couldn't work a lot of the time so I haven't been earning much money and I have big expenses due soon. You might also know that I applied for a new job to try and get more of a stable income. But even though I got the job I've been too anxious to go and declined more than 5 shifts this school term. I've been trying to build up the courage to work though.


So what is the point of me writing all this? I don't really know. I haven't self-harmed in a few weeks since my boyfriend has been around to support me and I haven't made any attempts to hurt myself or end my life, which I know is supposed to be a good thing. 


So why do I still feel so stuck? I felt really good the past couple days but all throughout those good moments I just fall back into this sinking pit of 'something feels wrong and i'm not okay.' 


I have lots of strategies to help me with my work anxiety and I've been doing a lot of preparation so hopefully I will be able to work that job next term but I feel so stressed out about it. I don't feel good enough. I feel like a nervous wreck. I feel like I wasted 4 and a half years at uni for a career that I can't even do because I'm too anxious. Smiley Sad and this is despite positive feedback I have gotten from people. Somehow I still manage to feel so hopeless. 


And I am stressed because I managed to pick up shifts at my other job for the school holidays so I'm going to be spending 2 weeks working everyday. It will be great for my income but I'll be working a 40 hour week which is basically full time hours and I usually get either burnt out or very stressed. So I guess I am wondering how the heck am I supposed to get through these next two weeks coming up? I cannot pull out because I have made a commitment and the workplace cannot get another worker in time without causing huge problems. I've done this job before which is why I know I'm going to get stressed out cause it's happened before. I really need the money though and I know it's only 2 weeks. But it's still going to be hard especially with everything else going on. Smiley Sad 


If you managed to read through all of that I appreciate it. I just don't really know what to do. I am seeing a psychologist btw and my GP fairly regularly. We're still considering going on medication but hasn't been determined yet. 




Re: Trying to cope with constant anxiety and stress

Hey there @mspaceK,


Thank you for being so open and honest with how you've been feeling. It sounds like there has been a lot going on for you these past couple of months, and often it can be difficult to cope with so much happening. 


It's great that the past few days have been good for you. When negative emotions feel overwhelming, sometimes focusing on those positive days and good moments can help get through them. You mentioned that you have a lot of strategies for dealing with work anxiety, are any of them helpful for other anxieties as well? It might be helpful to discuss with your psych other strategies that might be helpful for you, like some listed here, what do you think? 


It sounds like the next couple of weeks working every day is one of the biggest stresses for you right now, is that right? Working every day like that can definitely be stressful, but often worth it in the long run for both the money but also for the experience gained. I've found that when I have many things scheduled or am working non-stop for a few days, having some time to myself to do something fun (with someone or alone) is a great motivator to helping me when it feels overwhelming. Is there anything you could schedule with your boyfriend for the weekends? 


Although it may not feel like there's a point to sharing what's going on, it can be so helpful to just have everything out there. So thank you again for being so open with us, you can do this Heart


I am finishing with ReachOut this week, say good-bye here. I'll miss you all!

Re: Trying to cope with constant anxiety and stress

Hi @Jay-RO . thank you for replying. 


The strategies that I have for my work anxiety is for my new job. I have some things I need to prepare to help me be better prepared for the days I might get called in to work. I suppose I could apply those strategies to my job next week so that I am ready for the days work. 


For the second week I will be staying at my boyfriends house so I'll hopefully get heaps of down time and chillax time to just play video games and watch movies and just hang out. I think i'll message some friends to go to the movies as well. I guess having a reward so I have something to look forward to would be good. 


I'll talk to my psych about ways to help my anxiety next time I see them. Hopefully it helps. 

Re: Trying to cope with constant anxiety and stress

@mspaceK I think giving yourself that down/fun time with your boyfriend and friends is a great idea and like you said, will give you something rewarding to look forward to after work Smiley Happy I find that doing this for myself helps me unwind so much after a long/stressful day at work whether its going out or staying out home, finding the balance that works for you is such important self care!

Re: Trying to cope with constant anxiety and stress

Things got worse. Smiley Sad I cannot say specifics without making myself recognisable to irl peoples, but I have a huge financial burden that has suddenly occurred and I am working heaps and all the money that I was looking forward to going into my savings, well...let's just say I won't have any savings and I am in negative balance as I owe someone money now due to what happened. My house mate is still managing to trash the house, although she says it is organised mess. It's chaos and I am fed up. I'm really tired and not eating properly still. I'm hoping to get my sleep back to normal but lately it just takes me so long to fall asleep. I spoke to my KHL counselor about looking into medication. I'm supposed to see my GP when I can to discuss options as it seems the medication might be what I need even though I am doubtful. *sigh*


And just cause I really feel like complaining..I'm not 100% well either and working isn't helping one single bit. I can't seem to catch a break ffs. 


Smiley Sad I'm just sad about lots of things. 


@linkinpark13 @Jay-RO @Tiny_leaf 

Re: Trying to cope with constant anxiety and stress

@mspaceK oh my gosh that sounds so awful...

Re: Trying to cope with constant anxiety and stress

@Tiny_leaf Smiley Sad I'm so agitated. 

Re: Trying to cope with constant anxiety and stress

@mspaceK I don't blame you, the whole thing sounds really horrible...

Is there anything you can do that normally helps when you feel like that?

Re: Trying to cope with constant anxiety and stress

@Tiny_leaf Spend time with my boyfriend or friends. 


I'm feeling unmotivated and really shitty and frustrated. 


What are you doing?


I think I need distractions. 

Re: Trying to cope with constant anxiety and stress

@mspaceK just hanging around on the forums honestly..

Do you know what kind of distractions might help? Would you like to play a game or something?