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alone

I am 21, I have no friends at all I lost them all when I left school after I became homebound from anxiety. I sometimes dont mind being alone but sometimes when I see others with their friends I feel so deeply alone. I want friends but I am scared they won't understand me because of my mental illnesses, I have severe PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, severe depression and also suffer with agoraphobia plus I have many scars from past self injury. I feel like a freak that just isn't meant to have friends. I tried joining pole dancing lessons recently i hoped to make friends but now the studio decided to open else where so now I cant do the lessons I am so discouraged, In a rural area there isnt much things around to meet people my age.I also have huge trust issues and fear of abandonment. I feel maybe I should just accept that I am not meant to have any friends.

Re: alone

Hi @vampireprincess , welcome to ReachOut and well done on posting and searching for help!  That shows awesome courage and independence. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment, but you definitely have the right to have friends!  Also, you are not the first person to experience some of these issues, and they are actually quite common! 

 

That was really great initative to join the pole dancing class, it is too bad that they moved.  Are there any other social groups that you could join?

 

Have you tried seeking any professional help for your anxiety and depression? Seeing a councellor can really make a difference.  Talking about some of these things can be hugely beneficial - you could try calling a service like beyond blue or eheadspace? There are also these self-help tips for managing anxiety.

 

Let us know how you are going

Re: alone

Hi @vampireprincess , it really does sound like you're going through a pretty rough patch. @tsnyder has some great advice, takling to a professional can really help! Can I ask, what do you spend most of your time doing? Do you have any hobbies or anything? I found that music really helped me get through my loneliness, it's a great way to enjoy spending time alone and when you build up to it it's a better way to make connections with people.

Also, everybody, everywhere, deserves to have friends and be loved. Sometimes it just takes a bit of work, but you've taken the biggest (and hardest!) step towards that goal and you should be really proud of yourself. Now you have a great community of friends right here at Reachout that are here for you Smiley Happy

Re: alone

Hey @vampireprincess - I just wanted to say, glad you found us here and hope to see you round here more. I know its online and anonymous, but despite that we're a pretty close knit community here and we'd love to have you as part of it....

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

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Re: alone

@vampireprincess 

 

One of my best friends started pole dancing 2 years ago. She absolutely loves it, and gets really dissapointed when she has to miss a class. It might be worth travelling the extra distance to get there. She said that after a year or 2, the more expreinced dancers that have all stayed on and stuck with it, get to know eachother really well- Sounds like a great social opportunity!

 

I definately agree with the advice to see a proffessional. Remember, they see hundreds who may be struggling with many of the things you are struggling with. Im sure they have learnt a lot, and see what strategies are helpful for these people. Definately recommend. - If you dont, mind me asking, is there anything stopping you from seeing someone for support at this point in time?

 

 

Re: alone

I see a psychologist, started about a month ago,  also am linked in with a mental illness support service called SNAP who help with goal setting and stuff around whats important to me to help with better quality of life and stuff. I also have been using kids helpline for 5 years. In a rural area there isn't much to find for people my age that and hard to find things I'd actually enjoy.

Re: alone

@vampireprincess sounds like its been tough for you. Isolation does suck.

Do you have any other interests besides polo dancing? Maybe trying something new could help, it will help you keep occupied. While opportunities may be limited for you, maybe you could try something new.

Hope things get better Smiley Happy. Stay strong.

Re: alone

Great to hear you have some good support in your life..

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: alone

@vampireprincess everyone deserves friends! and to be a friend to othersSmiley Happy

 

It sounds like its hard being in a rural area to make new friends and meet people

Some typical ways to meet people which may still be possible for you are getting a casual job - if your mental health allows it atm you can meet others in a work place, joining a sports team or even facebook groups for recreational/arts/crafts/anything around your area, chatting to people who work or hang out at places/stores/areas you like, just saying hi to people you see around that look cool or likeminded! (you never know- they could be searching for a mate too!)

 

Is there any chance you will go back to school in the near or even distant future?

Re: alone

@vampireprincess It's great that you're seeing a psychologist and working on goal-setting! Are there any persona/social goals in particular you're hoping to achieve? These may remind you that you're a person who has a lot to offer and who others would enjoy being around.

 

There are many young people with experiences of anxiety disorder, PTSD and severe depression so you're not alone and there are bound to be people out there who would embrace the person you are without judgement. Keep coming back to the forums and you'll notice other users who report similar experiences to yours and are gradually overcoming them Smiley Happy