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im nothing special

when they say im ugly, this is all i think; Do you even know how it feels? really. no, you dont. you dont know how it feels to hate every single inch of your entire body. You do not know how it feels to spend hours choosing something to wear just you can look 'acceptable' not even average not even atractive and then having people look down on you anyway. You od not know how it feels to look in the mirror, and hate yourself even more every single time. You dont know how it feels to tell yourself your ugly and believe it every time. You have never felt that cringing embarrassment trickle through your body as you overhear somebody say something horrible about the way you look, and then to walk past them with your head held high pretending not to have heard them. No, you dont know how it feels to skip meals everyday because you werent born with a small figure. you dont know what it feels like to not be able to get out of bed in the morning because you do not want to be seen, not in the mirror, not by your family, not by the world. you do not how it feels to be self conciouswhen your own mother looks at you. knowing how ugly you feel. knowing how ugly you look. you do not know how it feels, or you wouldnt point it out, ever.

(not saying this is eveyone).

 

Nobody knows the real me. nobody knows how many times iv'e sat in my room and cried., how many times iv'e lost hope, how many times iv'e been let down. Nobody knows how many times iv'e had to hold back tears, how many times iv'e felt like im going to snap but don't for the sake of the people around me. nobody knows the thoughts that have gone through my head when im sad, and how horrible they really are.

 

thankyou if you took some time out of your day to read this pathetic little peice.

appreciate it. xoxo

Highlighted

Re: im nothing special

You are NOT pathetic! Seriously. You are awesome and braver than you think.

 

  

Re: im nothing special

Hey Cassy,

 

It sounds like you're feeling really down on yourself at the moment, & like these thoughts are having a huge impact on your day to day life. When the way we think about ourselves starts to get in the way of what we feel able to do, it's really important to try and work out what might be going on for us that is causing us to feel so negatively about ourselves. Have you heard of 'self talk'? The way we think and talk about ourselves can play a huge role in how we feel - you might be interested in reading the factsheet about it here: http://au.reachout.com/What-is-self-talk

 

In your other thread about bullying a couple of people suggested giving Kids Helpline a go - they're an amazing service and can help you work through what is happening for you. The forums here aren't staffed by counsellors or psychologists, and we want you to get the best help that you can. 

 

Keep in mind that this section (Something's not right) is about focusing on making things better, not ruminating on the things that aren't working well for us. With that in mind, what are a few steps (small or large) that you can take to start getting things on a better path for yourself?

 

x

Re: im nothing special

Hey Cassie... sounds like you are thinking pretty negatively about yourself at the moment, so it's really impressive that you have taken the step towards doing something good for yourself by joining ReachOut.com.

Last night here on the forums, we had an info session on how the way that we think decreases our self-esteem, not the things that happen to us. Check it out: http://tinyurl.com/bv9fc6y

You can't always change the situation you are in but you can change the way you think about it

Please check out the info on self-talk that Gail has linked. Self-talk is the talking you do in your own head about yourself and the things that happen, your own "running commentary" on your life. When that internal dialogue is overly negative, like yours sounds, it has real life effects on our behaviour, actions and even our mood.

Sometimes we need to force ourselves to stand in front of the mirror and say "I like what I see" - even if you don't believe it at first, if you practice things like this every day eventually your mind catches up with your words and thoughts and you will truely like what you see.

So, on that we'd love to know one thing - small or big - that you have done today that helped you.

Keep reaching out.

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: im nothing special

hi cassy

 

not everyone gets told that their special frequently and i think we sometimes forget how special we really are.

so here it is ... you're special !

 

now blog, write, sing, dance, yell, draw, dress, cook, hum etc. about it

 

i like digging through my wardrobe and finding old pieces of clothing and dressing up and just pampering myself really.

kinda tell myself no one could possible look this good hahahha cause there's only one of me in this world

and that makes me feel really special

 

maybe you could try vlogging on youtube or something ?

 

 

 

 

Re: im nothing special

vlogging? what? hahah

Re: im nothing special

i keep telling myself i'm tech savvy. isn't vlogging like video + blogging ? that's what i meant

i tried a different yoghurt today. it's supposedly much more healthier. i'm that little bit healthier today Smiley Happy hopefully it makes my skin glow hahahaha

did you do anything special for yourself today ?

Re: im nothing special

Yeah you got the vlogging thing right fosterthepeople!

And Cassy, it really is true. The self talk does help. Rather then letting yourself plummet and divulge in all that negativity, it is far more uplifting to say to yourself, you know what...I don't care, I'm going to do 'this or that', because it makes me feel good. It will liven up your day and your spirit. Even only for a moment...you broke the cycle and that's the first step.

Re: im nothing special

I was in your shoes once. Took me YEARS to learn that, in the end, being your own best friend is the best thing you can ever do for yourself. I found that the more I smiled, the easier it was to interact with people. Like Soph said, it takes time, but believe me, one day it'll be natural.    

Re: im nothing special

That's really cool to hear Shadow. It's really about persistence and knowing that everyday isn't going to be easy and that change doesn't happen over night. It's something you need to work on.