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jumping back into life.
So I am starting a new thread because the new website format wont let me view my old thread past a certain number of pages so sorry if I am missing anything I think I caught most of it before it swapped over but anyway it was probably time for a new thread anyway. @MB95 @Lost_Space_Explorer5 I am tagging you too cause I think you replied before.
anyway sorry I have been away, I went to my psychiatrist appointment and they said I had to go straight to hospital and I just got out today. I am super behind on uni now and really dont know what to do but that i am not going to think about tonight. a lot has been going on and I am now on a depot medication which I hate, I am seeing the psych again on friday and yeah idk where to even start. I will try and catch up on everything that has been going on here soon.
I am trying to just ride it out but idk it is complicated. I have been watching chicago med recently. idk if i am hearing sounds or not but i was hearing voices before idk i am just i feel like something is in my head messing things up and taking things out of there. like my thoughts and stuff are being interfered with.
Yeah riding it out is never easy so I get it. But good on you for giving it a go as uncomfortable as it can be!! The voices that you've been hearing, do they sound like someone you know? You obviously don't have to answer that if you don't want too sorry!!
Is there anyone else you might be able to message or talk to about your friend? Like would anyone else know about how he/she is going? Cause it sounds quite distressing to not hear from them. I'm wondering if you have them on any social medias and if they've posted recently? I mean I'm sure you've probably already checked all of that. But what about maybe trying to message someone that might know how/where they are? I'm really sorry you're not hearing back. It must be so distressing. 💙
As for your other friend sending triggering stuff. If you don't feel comfortable sending them a message is there a way you can block them for a while? Or like put their messages on mute or something? Cause that's really not fair on you and they shouldn't be making you feel triggered or uncomfortable. I don't really know what they are sending but what about saying something like 'hey, I'm really sorry but I'm not in a good place at the moment and some of the stuff you've been sending me is quite triggering for me. Would it be okay if you stopped sending things about .... ' Idk. I suck with this kinda stuff too sorry but maybe something like that could help?
It sucks your psych cancelled your appointment. Did she say why? And do you feel okay to wait until then or do you think you might need some support before then? Have you got anything booked in with your CM in the meantime? Sorry. I took a leaf from losts book and am asking heaps of questions here lol It's only because we care about you though 💙
I hope you are doing okay. Did you end up managing to get some groceries for the house by any chance? I noticed the other day you were finding it difficult so just wanted to check in around that?
@MB95 the voices arent ones i recognise. and i dont know anyone else who i could contact to find out about my friend they havent posted in a long time either. idk i will figure something out. yeah my other friend idk like it is complicated and i dont want them to feel like they cant talk to me about stuff it is just at the moment idk i will have to try something if it keeps happening. my psych said they were sick so like fair enough it is just not a great time but that isnt their fault. idk when i am next seeing my CM. i did manage to get a few groceries but not much and i already need to get more. ugh everything is so hard.
Hey @Eden1717 I'm sorry you're feeling triggered by stuff your friend is sending you. It's really hard to set boundaries... Perhaps like you said if it keeps happening you could ask your friend to check in with you before talking about certain topics? And explain you want to be there for them it's just sometimes you're not in the right headspace to talk about certain topics? What do you think?
And that sucks your psych is sick and you have to wait another week 😞 It sounds like you really could have used the session, like with everything that's been going on... I wonder if you could email or maybe reach out to your CM in the meantime?
It's good you managed to get a few groceries... it is a bit worrying because before you said you were worried about becoming malnourished? Were you able to get some nice foods?
That's really concerning with your friend 😞 I hope you're able to figure something out
Chicago med sounds interesting! I love medical dramas lol, maybe I shall check it out!
That sounds really scary @Eden1717. Do you know who the voices belong to? Also if you don't want to talk about them we don't have too!! I'm just not sure if maybe talking about them will help? Maybe give them less power or something? Idk. I am happy to try and talk about them with you but also totally respect if you don't want too or they are too scary/hard to talk about. Just know we are willing to listen if you do want too 💙
Hmm.. that is really concerning for your friend. I don't really know what you could do. The only thing I'm really thinking is if you know where they live to maybe do a drive by or something? Or worst case scenario, ask the police to do a welfare check? I personally hate getting welfare checks though so maybe try other options before that if you can. Although it is important to know they are okay. I really hope they are. I'm quite worried about you. Do you think maybe making contact with your CM this week might be a good idea? Just so you have someone you can talk through all of this with? I can't imagine how distressing it is for you and I feel like you have enough going on as it is. What do you think? Maybe you could also ask her how to chat to this other friend about what's triggering you?
Thats awesome that you were able to get a few groceries. I know it probably doesn't feel like much and you might be upset you were unable to do a whole shop but a few is better than nothing and I'm proud of you for making that happen!!
I also might have to join in on the Chicago Med train with you both!
@Lost_Space_Explorer5 @MB95 yeah chicago med is good a little unrealistic at times but still a good watch. idk what to do about the friend idk where they are living at the moment and it is complicated anyway i will figure something out. idk about contacting my CM like idk what i would even say to them plus i am having so much trouble talking. as for the voices they are spirits but yeah idk how to explain all of that stuff but they well idk. idk everything is a bit of a mess at the moment.
Haha medical dramas are always unrealistic! 😛 Yeah it's a tough one with your friend. You don't happen to have like contact numbers for a parent of theirs or something like that? I assume if you did you would have tried though
Could you text/email your CM instead of call? That might be easier than talking?
Also I love the idea of watching chicago med together @MB95 😄
How are you feeling @Eden1717 ? Were you able to finish watching the movie? I'm almost finished it although I really struggled to concentrate and missed quite a few parts and now I'm a bit confused about the ending cause I thought the granny lady was mean and then she was nice and then she was mean again? I don't know how to spell her name lol @Lost_Space_Explorer5
Lol yeah it was her twin sister- and her twin was much nicer than her! Although I think yubaba had a soft side to her in the end
I also love the character development of the baby like he learns to be more independent!
I hope watching spirited away was a good distraction @Eden1717 and that you're able to get some rest tonight. I'm signing off now
Hey @Eden1717 I just wanted to check in to see how you're going today?
Ah okay, yes I forgot that part!! 🤦♀️ I do remember them saying that now lol I am definitely going to have to watch it when I am more with it.
I'm glad you like it! I feel like all med shows can be quite unrealistic at times, must just be part of the package deal lol I just asked lost over on her thread if she wants to watch thr first episode with me tonight so we can check it out - what episode are you up to? Also, you are obviously more than welcome to join us back at episode 1 if you want to watch it with us lol That's if we even do end up watching it. Idk what losts plans are for the night.
Ah man, it can be so hard trying to reach out when things are such a mess hey? It's like nothing makes sense so how are we meant to verbalise it? Or even write it half the time for that matter? If you can, I think it could maybe be worth sending your CM a message. Idk if you have their number or email or anything? But if you do then maybe just literally saying something like 'I am unable to see my psych for a week but feel like I need some support and was wondering if we might be able to meet up?'. Idk sorry. I know I suggest these things and encourage others to do them and say they are good but like I also couldn't see myself following through with it so if it's too much or too hard I do get it. I just really care about you and want to make sure you have the support in place that you deserve. Maybe this is a good time to just check in, are you feeling safe? And are the spirits saying nice things or are they making you feel on edge? I'm here if you want to try and talk about any of it. Even if you want to just dot point random words if that's easier? Remember how I mentioned the words of the day thing? If that is easier you could just type out some random words and I can then try and write back to you with what I think you're meaning? Idk. Just an idea if typing it all out is too much but you do wanna talk. I'm here 💙 I don't really know how to help with the friend I'm sorry. I hope you're able to figure something out and I'm hoping that maybe the staff or mods will be able to give you some better advice tomorrow.
What's your plans for tonight? Are you just gonna watch Chicago med? I'm about to see if I can find a trailer for it and then hopefully lost might have seen my message by then about watching it 🙂
I can only call my CM so that makes things hard. idk the spirits havent been saying much the last few hours but i am still scared that a deity wants me gone and some other things. i am feeling safe at the moment just agitated as usual. idk about tonight maybe something simple that doesnt require a lot of input.
Hey @Eden1717 , I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing this morning? It sounds like last night was a bit of a rough ride.
You mentioned hearing some voices that you don't recognise this weekend - that sounds really distressing. Have you mentioned these new voices to your CM?
I'm sorry to hear that things like getting groceries are tough at the moment. When I'm not feeling my best, taking care of household jobs like that can feel really exhausting. Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in an endless cycle of cleaning the same things and needing to go buy more groceries even though I've just been to the shops. Is there anyone around that can give you a hand with your groceries?
@Eden1717 Oh damn yeah that does make things hard 😞 That sounds really scary with worrying there's a deity who wants to hurt you 😞 I'm glad you're feeling safe but it sucks you're still feeling agitated. Is there anything that could help with the agitation?
idk i am trying to just listen to music and stuff idk what will help i think i just have to live with it for now.
Music sounds like it's a good distraction. Mmm yeah I guess it's a sucky thing to have to deal with though 😞 Still sometimes acceptance is less stressful
Hey @Eden1717 I'm sorry today (or well yesterday) was such a bad day. That sounds so frightening with the walls moving and hearing things 😞 It would be even more unsettling not being able to communicate about what's been going on... If I thought my thoughts were being tampered with I would be so scared and freaked out! 😞 Do you want to talk more about the scary stuff or uni or anything? We're here to listen
It's really good you're trying to distract yourself with netflix but it sounds like it would be pretty hard to concentrate... I know music sometimes helps, have you been trying music?
What's chicago med about 🙂 ? Are you seeing any supports next week? Did you hear back from your friend? 😞 (sorry if this is too many questions, I know you said distraction helps so I'm trying to help distract you!)
@Sophia-RO i got some rest but idk i am still exhausted.
@Lost_Space_Explorer5 I have been trying music but idk it is weird. chicago med is just like a medical drama series idk how to describe it lol. i still havent heard from my friend. and my psych cancelled this week so i dont see her till next week.
today i am still feeling weird and a bit triggered at the moment because a friend keeps sending me triggering stuff and idk how to ask them to stop without offending them. but yeah anyway i am trying to keep distracted.
idk i have been watching chicago med but i am struggling to watch more than 10 minutes at a time.
I'm really sorry you're struggling. I am also not having a good day today and nothing is making any sense so I don't think I am going to be much help sorry but I am here to sit with you. I don't know about you but I am really needing to stay busy today so I am cleaning my whole house. Well trying too. I cleaned for like maybe an hour and now I'm on the couch not wanting to move 😂 Bur sleep sounds like a good idea. Idk about you but I find it is a good way to keep myself safe and escape what's going on. I mean that's when you finally manage to fall asleep and if you can stay asleep and escape the nightmares but yeah sometimes sleep can help so maybe try that. I hope you are okay. Sorry I'm not much help. I am here and listening though 💙