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stupid

I AM SO ANGRY I JUSY IGH I CSNT BREATHE I FEEL SO SICK 

I FEEL LIKE ... OR ... UDHDJSJWDSU. IM SO ANGRY IM DOFOINH A SPECIAL FOOTY COMP TPMORROW BUT I FUCKING SUCK ANYWAY 

OMG IM SO ANGRYY! 

j95
j95Posted 13-10-2017 09:28 PM

Comments

 
j95
j95Posted 13-10-2017 10:56 PM

Why did you delete that I am not a baby 

 
TOM-RO
TOM-ROPosted 13-10-2017 09:46 PM

Hi @j95, it sounds like you're very distressed at the moment. Has something happened tonight that has made you angry or is it mainly in regards to how you're feeling about the footy comp tomorrow?  Are there any strategies from your safety plan that you could use to look after yourself and stay safe tonight?

 

P.S. I've had to edit out a few words from your post as they may be triggering for other members.

 
 
j95
j95Posted 13-10-2017 09:52 PM
Its not footy it's school work @TOM-RO I can't do it evrytgibg is a big mess
Why the fuck does it even matter if I saying something like that
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 13-10-2017 10:09 PM
BUT IM JUST SO MAD!!!
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 13-10-2017 10:20 PM
And I can say whatever I want!!!
 
 
 
 
 
TOM-RO
TOM-ROPosted 13-10-2017 10:35 PM

It sounds like you're in a really self-critical space at the moment @j95, however, I know how much you've contributed to the forums and helped your fellow members, which would not be possible if you actually were 'stupid'.  It sounds like the distraction/break suggestion is not one that is working for you at the moment, so what else could you try? If you feel you are unable to stay safe I have to urge you to contact a helpline like the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 13-10-2017 10:42 PM
I HATE CALLING SUICIDE CALL BACK SERVICE!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
TOM-RO
TOM-ROPosted 13-10-2017 11:00 PM

Hi @j95, we are here to support you and want what is best for you, which is why we suggested reviewing your safety plan or contacting SCBS.  In saying this, it is ultimately up to you to choose whether or not to do these things.  Please be mindful to not direct offensive or aggressive comments to members or mods as we are on your side and such comments go against our community guidelines.  The time has come for me to log off for the evening, so please do your best to stay safe and contact a helpline or 000 if you are unable to do so.  Take care.

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 14-10-2017 02:09 PM

Stupjd idiot me can't do the right thing again 

 
 
 
 
 
Mona-RO
Mona-ROPosted 14-10-2017 03:56 PM

Hey @j95 I'm sorry you were struggling last night and it seems, a bit today as well. Do you have any plans for today? It's quite gorgeous outside.

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 14-10-2017 08:14 PM
IM JUST A STUPID FUCKING IDIOT WJho might as well just **edited** himself anyway
 
 
 
 
 
safari93
safari93Posted 15-10-2017 04:09 PM

Hey @j95, how are you feeling today? It seems like you've had a pretty rough couple of days, and I'm really sorry about that.

You mentioned your school work was really stressing you out before - did you want to talk through it? We're here to support you, if you need Smiley Happy

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 15-10-2017 06:25 PM
Why the fuck do I keep being an idiot here though
What is wrong with me!!
 
 
 
 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 16-10-2017 11:36 AM

@j95 we need to keep working on those steps. Can we figure out when it's time to pause from the forums when things are like this? And what we can say that makes that suck as little as possible? 

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 16-10-2017 12:40 PM

I hate it when people tell me to call places @Ben-RO like last night I have already said I hate phoning mensline and it kept being suggested and then Bree-RO said ReachOut wasnt helping me, well maybe because I don't like being pushed into something I do not want to do and also why should I not be allowed on here i did nothing wrong other people can stay on here 

 
 
 
 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 16-10-2017 04:36 PM

I think what's happening here is that we're hitting another wall where the kind of support you need isn't the kind we're very good at giving, we're doing our best and it seems to be making you feel worse i feel like we really upset you last night :(.

 

We want to try and figure out a better support that works for you. 

 

They were suggesting Mensline because last time in this thread we spoke you mentioned that while you didn't like calling them, they might be your only option at the moment. So if you're not a fan of them, that's cool, we need to think of a different place, or think about a management plan with them that helps them understand what you need. That's something i might be able to do, i'll check with the boss if you're keen. 

 

If you're feeling pushed, then help us make an anger management plan. Is it okay if we make a new thread to start setting one up? 

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 16-10-2017 04:38 PM
I don't mind then I don't know what the plan would involve.
Yeah sure
 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 16-10-2017 04:39 PM
I don't know why I have been like this lately but I don't like it @Ben-RO 😞
 
 
 
 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 16-10-2017 04:49 PM

It seems really tough for you @j95 😞 I am sorry it's been so hard for you lately. I reckon if we get through this plan it'll help a fair bit. At the very least if we have a plan we can work really hard to make sure everyone agrees on what needs to happen when and the best way for us to support you. 

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 16-10-2017 04:52 PM

That part of my brain that rationlises ? stuff just doesn't seem to be working and same with the part that usually says give it a rest j, let it go, just shut up. 

 @Ben-RO

 
 
 
 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 16-10-2017 04:55 PM

Sounds like a classic lid flip 

flipped-lid-PFC-horizontal.001-copy.jpg

 
 
 
 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 16-10-2017 05:07 PM

I think i sent you a video about this once upon a time. Basically what our brains are like. The fingers do the "wise" stuff like taking a break shutting down a convo that's not working so well in your head, they're up the front, kind of just above and behind where your eyes are. But when our adrenaline kicks in. It shuts down and the thumb takes over, which is the bit of brain that's just a bit above where your kneck is. Riiiight in the middle of everything. When that happens. The intense feelings take over and you gotta wait about 20 minutes or more before the fingers or the wise part of your brain can start working again. 

 

Until then it's hulk mode and you probably feel like this: 

fuck-calm-and-go-hulk-mode-1.png

Unfortunately Hulk kinda doesn't help unless you have a Super Villain to mess up and even then, well... it gets messy and people get hurt, it's no way to live a happy life. 

 

So it's time to work on getting out of hulk mode as well as making sure everyone around you is safe from harm because you're responsible and care a lot about our members and i know we can work this out 🙂

 

What that means for you is that you have a few different things that you can do, and it depends on where your lid is. So i am making a thread to talk about that. 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 16-10-2017 05:23 PM
I don't get why mine doesn't work so good
 
 
 
 
 
letitgo
letitgoPosted 17-10-2017 10:09 AM

I guess everyone's brains work a little differently @j95 and it can be really frustrating when one part doesn't work as well. I know you have plenty of great skills though! e.g. skateboarding and footy, which your brain allows you to do!

Hope you're okay today!

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