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Re: when is it time for hospital

I dont want to be safe @letitgo but yeah atm i am.
Im seriously so sick of it
This one isnt even about MI
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: when is it time for hospital

I'm so glad to hear that you're safe @scared01. Your wellbeing is important to me and the RO community.

Do you reckon you could distract yourself on the games thread for a bit?

I'm happy to keep chatting with you about anything you'd like Smiley Happy

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: when is it time for hospital

I need a break. If I could up and leave I would. Im saving up and im going away for a few days cause I cant take it anymore.

But anyway she says im working all weekend. Which means I have the kids all weekend until she gets home and then when she gets home im still going to have them because she usually gets the craps and says she does everything and everyone wait for her to get home to do anything.

She pulled the whole you dont do anything while im not here, so its now puttign extra pressure on me to do something else and ive found a few free short courses that interest me that go for a few months each and I think I might do that once the mindspot course im doing is finished in about 5 weeks. I dont know how well this is going to work. Im already struggling to keep up as it is.

Tomorrow is going to be bloody hard and apparently im over exagerating on how hard its goignt o be according to my mother- yeah because shes not doing it.
So in the morning im dropping my sister off to her nans house so she can do some chores to earn some money so I said can you be back by 10 30 so we can go down to treat her horse (here horse is the one thats sick). Shes been pestering me to go for a ride and so I said ok you can have a ride and ill start cleaning out one of the paddocks but ill be around so I can watch you. Shes happy with that and I was ok with it as I thought it was only going to be me and here. But now mum has just notified me that she has to work which now means- I have to watch her while I do the yard, fill waters, and to empty the wheelbarrow and access the taps I have to get through two horse paddocks. So now I have to drag her through there with me with arms full.
And I have to watch my middle sister ride her horse. Then I have to treat the sick horse in the morning- once while my sisters not here, then one while shes riding and then one about 4 oclcock all while I have both sisters with me. My youngests sister is now going to want to ride and both horses that she rides is out and I dont get a ride on the horse I use either so I guess im working all weekend as well both being a carer and watching my sisters. My youngests sister is also still sick too so I have to limit what I do to make sure she stays warm and ahs medications through the day as prescribed by gp so shes well enough to go to school on monday as ive been watchig her since wednesday except for at appointments as mum bf or shes been home at the time to watch her for me. So I havent had much chance to even breathe yet.

After I said to mum everything I have to do and after how much I am struggling as told to her in last night. She growls at me and says your making it so much harder than wht it needs to be. And if I made a list and gave it to her she would yell at me. But this si the list

1. get sister to her nans house/ sisters breakfast and medication/get dressed
2. come home and make all the horse feeds up for all 4 horses
3. pick up sister
4. get horses in
5. get my sister set up for riding
6. treat sick horse
7. feed sick horse
8. fill up sick horses water
9. clean out sick horse paddock
9. go up and clean ponies paddock
10. fill up ponies water
11. feed the pony
12. try and allow my sister to have a small ride on middle sisters horse when shes finished
13. feed middle sisters horse and the horse I use
14. retreat the sick horse again before I leave
15. come home
16, make sure chores are done- dishes, vaccuming
17. make sure kids have lunch and sister has medications
18. go back down to treat sick horse
19. come home and do dinner, shower etc


then tomorrow mums and work and I have to do all that all over again!

 

 

@Bree-RO@letitgo@lokifish@Sally-RO@redhead

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: when is it time for hospital

Even if you can't show the list to your mum, making it and having a clear understanding of what's weighing on you could be a helpful thing for you, so I'm glad you did it!

I can totally see how you'd need a break with all that stuff going on! I think it's good that you've recognised that and are aiming to save up and get away for a few days. You are 100% allowed to do that, and allowed to take care of yourself.

 

 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: when is it time for hospital

I'm logging off for the moment @scared01 but please know that I have faith in you.

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: when is it time for hospital

Defeated
Empty
Pathetic
Rejected
Excluded
Stupid
Sunken
Isolated
Off balance
Numb

 

 

Overwhelmed
Used up
Torn
Lazy
Afraid
Nothing
Disgraced
Exluded
Rejected

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: when is it time for hospital

Shes smiles on the outside
But everything is fine  right?
But everyday is a fight
Look closely  you might just see
Who i really am inside  me
I leak a tear from my eye
But all i want is to lay down and fly high
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: when is it time for hospital

@Bree-RO @TOM-RO @Sally-RO @Ben-RO @Mona-RO
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: when is it time for hospital

I need to get out if my head but as said in first post all i see is sh options with the strategies i have
Is there anything else i can do
@Bree-RO @Mona-RO @Ben-RO @Sally-RO @TOM-RO
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: when is it time for hospital

Hi @scared01 You have a long list to get through don't you. I know it sounds like an obvious (and maybe even slightly annoying) but you said metaphorically that you can't breath with this much pressure. So I really think it's appropriate to let that list wait for tomorrow. Don't give it more thought for tonight. Do some breath work now. Deep breathing exercises. So for example breath in to your stomach for 4 seconds (then hold) and slowly breath out for 8 seconds....then repeat. Any distraction for now is appropriate though!! 

 

By the way where were you planning on visiting for a short break?P.S love your writing