originally posted on 09-03-2020 3:37 PM

Finally getting a chance to catch up on this! What an awesome discussion, thanks @Bre-RO  for sharing all of those resources, as well as @AnthonyBisexual. Fantastic chat and I've learned heaps, I hope it will help me be the best ally I can be in the future

 

originally posted on 04-03-2020 7:09 PM

 

I'm just tagging some of you that might be keen to get involved in tonight's chat with @AnthonyBisexual 

 

@WheresMySquishy @ecla34 @Tay100 @xXLexi_Lou122Xx @Tiny_leaf @Hozzles @scared01  

originally posted on 04-03-2020 7:10 PM

Hi everyone! 

originally posted on 04-03-2020 7:16 PM

Hey @AnthonyBisexual 

 

I'm super excited to have you here to chat about all things Bisexuality!  

 

Before we get started I just wanted to acknowledge that the Bisexual community is very diverse and will have differing opinions on some of the questions that have come through. We want to encourage a respectful and open discussion where anyone who is Bi can share their thoughts. In saying that, we are all really excited to see what you think @AnthonyBisexual about the questions that have come through! 

 

If anyone finds anything we chat about upsetting tonight we will be posting some Bi resources at the end of the night. Qlife also offers web-chat and telephone service for anyone who feels they need it. 

originally posted on 04-03-2020 7:21 PM

welcome @AnthonyBisexual and thanks for chatting with us tonight!

originally posted on 04-03-2020 7:23 PM

Let's get started! @AnthonyBisexual 

 

In your words, what is Bisexuality and what do you think the best thing about being Bi is? 

originally posted on 04-03-2020 7:26 PM

Bisexuality usually refers to people who are emotionally, physically and romantically attracted to your own and other genders. Historically, people used the term to describe the attraction to men and women however, every bisexual I know, including myself use it to describe the attraction to all genders. 

 

The best thing about being bi, is experiencing intimacy with different genders and how amazing and unique it can be with different people. (Obviously not at the same time, unless you are Poly or non-monogamous). 

originally posted on 04-03-2020 7:36 PM

I really like how you pointed out that there are different kinds of attraction. I think that's a really important thing to mention 🙂 

 

That's a good question @scared01 - I'll let @AnthonyBisexual answer but think we have a question later that will help us to explore that in more detail. 

 

 

originally posted on 04-03-2020 7:39 PM

@AnthonyBisexual There are some really wonderful things about being part of the Bi community! We did have a member who had a really important question about some of the challenges associated with being Bisexual. 

 

What are some myths about bisexuality?

originally posted on 04-03-2020 7:44 PM

ok, great. This question is super important because bisexual people can often believe some of these myths because they are commonly used against us

Myth: Bisexual people are confused and need to 'pick a side'
This suggests that bisexuality is not a real sexual orientation and that picking either gay or straight (what we call monosexism) is what needs to be achieved.

Bi people are not confused about their sexuality any more than gay/ lesbian/ straight people are with theirs.

 

Myth: Bisexual people are promiscuous or slutty or only interested in sex

This is particularly harmful for bi people because being sexually objectified like this can make you a target for sexual harassment and abuse, especially for femmes and female bi+ people, but definitely also for masc and male bi+ people. 

 

De-humanising someone to a sexual object or thing is often the first step to justifying abusive behavior towards that person and we now know that bi+ women are a high risk group for this type of abuse, especially in intimate relationships

 

Being promiscuous or slutty is not about someones sexuality 
Usually non-bi people are the ones confused about bisexuality hehe!

originally posted on 04-03-2020 7:52 PM

@AnthonyBisexual You've touched on some of what can put Bisexual people at risk in your last response and we had a question that could expand on that below. 

 

What are some of the reasons why members of the bisexual community are more likely to experience mental health issues than some other members of the LGBTQIA+ community?

originally posted on 04-03-2020 8:06 PM

Great question. We know from one of Australia's largest ever study on bisexual mental health (check out the Who I Am study by Julia Taylor) that the B experience higher rates of anxiety, depression and suicidality than the L and the G and heterosexual people. This is true for cisgendered bi people and especially trans and gender diverse bi+ people....the specific reasons for this are complex, but namely because of monosexism, biphobia, bi-erasure and bi-invisibility. This can lead people to feeling isolated, deny their own authentic selves, make it hard to talk about your relationships or attractions, and so bi+ people can experience minority stress, often alone
Bi+ people are often assumed to be straight of their partner is opposite gender and gay/ lesbian if the gender of their partner is the same gender, therefore NEVER bisexual, this means that bi+ people often have to explain themselves and come out, which means being subjected to scrutiny, suspicion and discrimination

Interestingly, bi+ people in opposite gender relationships had worse mental health than bi+ people in same-gender relationships

originally posted on 04-03-2020 8:10 PM

Oh, and I've also seen the myth that bi people can't attend pride if their partner is the opposite sex. What the?! Even allies can attend pride, the gatekeeping is ridiculous!

I never knew that bi people experience higher levels of poor mental health, though it does make a lot of sense. When you come out, you expect to be welcomed into a vibrant community that accepts you no matter what -- but due to stereotypes and these myths, that can be hard. 

originally posted on 04-03-2020 8:14 PM

@Hozzles wow seriously..?

Damn... that sucks..

originally posted on 04-03-2020 8:14 PM

very true, i have been involved in putting together a number of bi-community spaces, and Bi people are very anxious about bring along their partner if they are of the opposite gender....the fear that this makes us less queer!!

originally posted on 04-03-2020 8:15 PM

@AnthonyBisexual We have a question that I'm really glad someone from the community asked, as it's something many members come to the forums to ask. 

 

What advice would you give people who think they may be bi?

originally posted on 04-03-2020 8:23 PM

Ok, this is a good question. If you have a close friend you can trust to share something sensitive with and you can trust that they will offer care and understanding then start there! But because I don't know how people might respond, sometimes friends and family can respond in a not-so-good way, I would say, also consider reaching out to a queer therapist and community group (there is a few bi+ community Facebook groups based in Victoria, NSW, WA and QLD. These spaces are full of Bi+ people and their allies and always very keen to offer support and a space to reflect together, without telling you what to do or what to be

originally posted on 04-03-2020 8:26 PM

Good advice. Telling people you think will support you is key  

 

We had another similar question and would love to get your thoughts. I've seen members come to the forums in this situation before and it would be so tough to navigate this situation. 

 

Do you have any advice for a person who realises they're bi while in a committed relationship (that they don't want to end)?  

originally posted on 04-03-2020 8:32 PM

Again another important question and very common for bi+ people.

I am careful not to give advice as its hard to know what will feel ok for people in their specific context. but i can say, talking to other bi+ people has been soooo important for myself and other bi+ people i have supported, because taking the time to process and work out how to talk about something we are still trying to understand can be hard, especially if a partner gets anxious, or fears you are going to leave them or want threesomes etc (i know it sounds silly but this can happen)
You can always prepare yourself to respond to biphobic comments or other questions but talking to other bi people or you can go to the BiPlus Australia website with your partner and read through their resources section where they answer all the myths and other questions

originally posted on 04-03-2020 8:41 PM

@AnthonyBisexual  Thank you for sharing all these wonderful resources! 🙂

originally posted on 04-03-2020 8:38 PM

Thank you for that response and you're right - very common for bi+ people. Which just drives home the point that having a community is so helpful when figuring out your identity and what it all means. 

 

It sounds like you've done so much to create a safe space for bi people to talk through these things, which is so reassuring to know  

 

originally posted on 04-03-2020 8:41 PM

While we're on the topic of the importance of having bi community, this question came through and it's a really interesting one. What do you think @AnthonyBisexual?

 

Do you think bi people have their own 'culture' separate from the gay community?