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Ask A Pro Live: Life after Social Isolation
It's safe to say that 2020 has been a weird year. It has been a lot and going into social isolation has weighed really heavy on people. Now most of us are at a stage where restrictions are lifting, which brings a whole new set of concerns and challenges for many people.
This chat will most likely be quite broad as COVID-19 and social isolation has impacted people in different ways. Whether it's difficulty getting back into routine, social anxiety, weight gain, depression, study stress or work - we got you.
This month we are inviting our special guest Dr Joe to the forum to chat about how to stay well post social isolation. Read on to learn a little bit about our guest:
''Dr Joe is a psychologist who has worked for many years with young people in Australia doing face to face counselling.
He is passionate about the strengths of young people and working with them to get through tough times.
Though he ran with bulls for fun and nearly died in Spain, being European he has a very real and rational fear of sharks''
It's going to be a great conversation and I'm sure we will all walk away from it feeling better equipped to cope. We'll be chatting live on the 23rd of July so put it into your calendar and we'll see you there!
Join us live on the 23rd of July from 7:00pm - 9:00 pm (AEDT).
@Saltwaterdreamtime True! I'm in Vic but not in Melbourne, and it annoys me that I can go to all my other medical appointments face-to-face but not the psychologist. I hate having video/ phone appointments personally because I can't read body language/ easily get distracted. Sometimes my phone cuts out a lot and I can't hear, and I feel rude telling them the sound isn't the best, ahah. Like @WheresMySquishy I can articulate myself better over text!
There's also the case of an increase in domestic violence, I've seen a lot more ads about helplines etc recently but it's really concerning
yes phone / video does not work for everyone -
it can be more relaxing to do some counselling over the phone though - you can walk around - make tea...do whatever while relaxed in your home....if your home is relaxing. I get it some people need the face to face more.
@Saltwaterdreamtime I also don't like talking to counsellors over the phone. I feel like I would use more support services for carers if they had online chats or groups. I feel like I can articulate myself more online (the act of typing out how I feel actually makes me feel better) and sometimes being on the phone for long periods flares up my chronic pain.
@GuestPsychologist @Lost_Space_Explorer5 for sure, even introverts need social connection. A good analogy I remember hearing is that introverts don't necessary dislike people, they just 'recharge' and are most energized away from others, while extroverts 'recharge' and are most energized with others.
True I believe - a funny way of looking at it is that introverts believe the world doesn't deserve to hear their important thoughts whereas extroverts think the world needs to hear everything we are thinking - thats me !
My extrovert friend definitely didn't take lockdown very well! One of my very introverted friends who has lots of home-based hobbies did very well. But some introverts have been locked in houses with extroverts and they're not doing as well help us
stormyseas indeed - divorces are apparently on the up too! we are use dto managing the spaces between each other - that changed too!
@WheresMySquishy thanks! One game I've been playing a lot is minecraft. It's cheap and I got it on switch! I play it with my partner and one of my closest friends on a joint server and we've all built houses near each other and go on adventures when we catch up. It's super cool because they wouldn't interact otherwise! And you can play it solo too
@GuestPsychologist that doesn't surprise me, definitely a pressure cooker for a lot of relationships hey.
This question is a bit of a change of gear, but a super important one I reckon, and I know we see a lot of people on the forums talking about this lately...
I feel like the future is so uncertain. How do I stay focused, make plans etc when things are changing all the time??
. If we are struggling with something it is often because there is something we need to accept.
Can you accept you are living through a pandemic?
Do you accept you are living through it in one of the wealthiest countries in the world with an excellent healthcare system?
If you are young and healthy do you accept you will most likely survive a covid infection?
Do you accept covid will pass?
Do you have anything to be grateful for?
@GuestPsychologist what does the process of acceptance look like in relation to these Qs? Are there steps, thought processes involved?
There are for sure thought processes involved. I like ACT therapy because it borders on the spiritual. Acceptance is quite a mature way of thinking / being. Theres more here but it is thought/work that we need to engage in very day if we want or when we are troubled.
Sorry its hard to answer in a hurry! Many go through life unable to accept what they dont like They are not happy or content people usually
https://positivepsychology.com/act-acceptance-and-commitment-therapy/
@GuestPsychologist exactly right, change and uncertainty is a fact of life. Nothing goes 100% right for anyone, and this is no exception!
So true @GuestPsychologist - I reckon one of the biggest lessons for me through all of this has been the power of acceptance, though that's sometimes way easier said than done! I love what you say about if we are struggling with something it is often because there is something we need to accept.
This next question hit me really hard - I think so many of us put a lot of weird pressure on ourselves to 'make the most' of quarantine!
What would you say to someone who has felt like they 'wasted quarantine' by not being productive?
What would you say to someone who has felt like they 'wasted quarantine' by not being productive?
I think what I would say to that person is that this is all a learning process and we've never encountered anything like this before. We can't respond 'perfectly' or 'correctly' straight away and I don't believe there is a right or wrong way to spend quarantine. We are all trying to make the best out of a bad situation and it can take a lot of trial and error to figure out what works for us. I think people can think of what you are doing in different ways. A person with health problems who is still going on with their day to day life could be labelled resilient, while a person who just wants to stay at home and focus on their health can be considered a good self-manager too.
for sure - great answer - depends on people perspective and their expectations
I would say well done – you survived quarantine by being who you are with what you got. We go through spells of being productive and others spells of just veging out on the couch getting through the day. That’s ok too. We are not machines, isolation and quarantine is hard – it is more than ok to not be ‘productive’. Anyways who is judging the productivity?! - just ourselves usually - theres a song by Luka Bloom - Dont be so hard on yourself! not a great song but a true message!
The future is uncertain – it always has been and always will be. it was uncertain before the new challenge of covid. Planning for travel is very difficult and we may forget about planning overseas travel for a while I think. Things do change all the time even without covid. The present moment however is not uncertain – this moment – right now - and it is in this moment that we plan. We don’t plan IN the future we plan FOR the future. Maybe all we can do is make those plans in the present and hope for the best – as we can see in VIC, a second wave can happen anywhere. Planning for lots of travel may disappoint though so maybe manage the expectations downwards.
Love that way of looking at it @Hozzles . I find I'm a bit of a mix, I love connecting with other people and am much more extroverted than my partner, but I also definitely need time alone to recharge after a lot of peopling. I feel like these weird times have made a lot of us reflect more on what we need/ how we best function with other people and I'm definitely still learning!
I know this question has been on a few people's minds @GuestPsychologist and would love to hear your thoughts:
Do you think mental health services are likely to become overwhelmed by new people seeking help?
Do you think mental health services are likely to become overwhelmed by new people seeking help?
100%%%
I heard that youth helplines have received an 76% in calls during the pandemic, and that was kind of the beginning too.... so who knows now
Do you think mental health services are likely to become overwhelmed by new people seeking help?
A lot of people I've spoken to when I've said I plan to become a psych is that I'm going to be doing very well for myself... honestly, my hope is that the government uses this as a reason to start seriously subsidising mental health care.
@StormySeas17 totally relate to that! There's still the huge problem of 'the missing middle' (too sick for free psych programs, too 'well' for hospitalization). Personally, I've been told to expect a 5 month wait for a psychiatrist in my area and I assume it's only going to get worse due to more people seeking help. 'Shopping' for psychologists by changing them if you don't connect with one sounds like a good idea, but it's super hard to get in contact with a psychologist + mental healthcare plans only have a limited number of sessions.
@Hozzles WHOA. That's crazy how long you have to wait to see a psychiatrist!
I hope that once you are actually in the psychiatrist's system, it will be easier for you to see them more often. I had the same problem with my nephrologist, but after seeing him once, they let me schedule another appointment a month later.
@StormySeas17 My sister loves Minecraft! That's so awesome that it's allowed you, your partner and friend to connect with each other. 🙂